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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Backyard Wedding
ok, i'll be the odd woman out...i would give a bit less than if it were in a catering hall. my rule of thumb is always give as much to AT LEAST cover each plate. and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
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I agree 100%
Message edited 6/23/2007 12:03:54 AM.
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Posted 6/23/07 12:02 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Backyard Wedding
i would give them same as you would if these people were getting married at a catering hall... just because they didn't want the big "affair", doesn't mean they don't deserve a nice gift.
my sister is doing the same thing this summer. she had a court house ceremony, and is just going to have a casual backyard BBQ to celebrate it. no reason at all... shes just not into the whole big "princess" wedding thing, but still wanted to celebrate somehow. sher and her DH and JUST as married as my DH and i (who had the big wedding).... i don't think their marriage is any less deserving of gifts just because they chose not to blow money on a big party...
Message edited 6/23/2007 12:42:18 AM.
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| Posted 6/23/07 12:42 AM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by CathyB
I give what I can afford, regardless of where it is.
same here
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| Posted 6/23/07 6:50 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Why is this always such a repetitive question?
I don't know how people just wouldn't give based on what they want to give (how well they know the people or their usual amount).
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| Posted 6/23/07 7:31 AM |
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V-S03
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 334 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Backyard Wedding
I think it should depend on how close you are to the couple.
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| Posted 6/23/07 7:52 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by alnem
ok, i'll be the odd woman out...i would give a bit less than if it were in a catering hall. my rule of thumb is always give as much to AT LEAST cover each plate. and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
my usual wedding gift is $300...so for a backyard wedding i'd give maybe $150-$200.
im being completely honest! dont flame!
No flaming, just being the devil's advocate...what if you were invited to a wedding where the plates were $300+ each (so $600+ for a couple). Do you give more to cover that?
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| Posted 6/23/07 7:52 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by alnem
ok, i'll be the odd woman out...i would give a bit less than if it were in a catering hall. my rule of thumb is always give as much to AT LEAST cover each plate. and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
my usual wedding gift is $300...so for a backyard wedding i'd give maybe $150-$200.
im being completely honest! dont flame!
Actually,my dh said the same thing. He said $200 when I spoke with him after posting this.
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| Posted 6/23/07 8:22 AM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Backyard Wedding
I think it's the same. Matrimony is matrimony; well wishes are well wishes.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:16 AM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by Christine
Posted by alnem
ok, i'll be the odd woman out...i would give a bit less than if it were in a catering hall. my rule of thumb is always give as much to AT LEAST cover each plate. and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
my usual wedding gift is $300...so for a backyard wedding i'd give maybe $150-$200.
im being completely honest! dont flame!
No flaming, just being the devil's advocate...what if you were invited to a wedding where the plates were $300+ each (so $600+ for a couple). Do you give more to cover that?
yup, thats just the way DH and i are. it'll be a real pain cause thats alot of money for us to give away but thats how we do it. 
eta: if i had a small backyard wedding, i wouldnt expect people to bring me hundreds of dollars. i would be happy if they just bought a gift off my registry or gave us a gift card to a store.
again, no flaming...this is just how we were raised.
Message edited 6/23/2007 9:41:40 AM.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:31 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by alnem
and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
But how do you know what they are actually paying?
I know first hand how expensive a back yard wedding is. After you add everything up, it is actually more expensive then a lot of catering halls.
They have to purchase EVERYTHING. Unless they have a bridal expert to tell them how much they will need for everything including liquor, tableclothes, tables, cutlery, dishes, glasses, they will have to estimate.
Like I said in a previous post, my brother STILL has tons of stuff left over from his wedding 10+ years ago.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:38 AM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by BJandDan
Posted by alnem
and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
But how do you know what they are actually paying?
I know first hand how expensive a back yard wedding is. After you add everything up, it is actually more expensive then a lot of catering halls.
They have to purchase EVERYTHING. Unless they have a bridal expert to tell them how much they will need for everything including liquor, tableclothes, tables, cutlery, dishes, glasses, they will have to estimate.
Like I said in a previous post, my brother STILL has tons of stuff left over from his wedding 10+ years ago.
i'm answering the original posters question and she said they're just having food sternos and are keeping it small, so i cant imagine that being too much.
now if it were a backyard wedding where they rented tents, had waitstaff, tables/chairs, flowers, ice sculptures, DJ, photographer, limos, etc and was completely extravagent then yes, i would give the same as a catering hall.
this is just how we do things. its a PERSONAL choice. everyone in our families does this.
eta: i also take into account if its family, a close friend, co-worker, or just an acquaintance.
not all people are the same. you all do things your way, and i'll continue to do things mine.
Message edited 6/23/2007 9:55:10 AM.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:45 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Contrary to popular belief, your wedding gift should not be tied to how much the wedding costs. Wedding gifts are given based on your relationship with the couple and what you can afford. Whether they got married in a backyard, a courthouse, or a super expensive catering hall, I'd give the same.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:49 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by alnem
QUOTE]
I re-read and realised that I messed up. I thought it was someone else that said there dad had sterno's... yadda yadda. Completely missed that it was also from the OP.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:52 AM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by BJandDan
Posted by alnem
QUOTE]
I re-read and realised that I messed up. I thought it was someone else that said there dad had sterno's... yadda yadda. Completely missed that it was also from the OP.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:56 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by Kara
Contrary to popular belief, your wedding gift should not be tied to how much the wedding costs. Wedding gifts are given based on your relationship with the couple and what you can afford. Whether they got married in a backyard, a courthouse, or a super expensive catering hall, I'd give the same.
Adding to this, you normally don't even know who is paying for the wedding... so along the logic of tying your gift to how much the wedding costs... you'd give more to a couple who didn't pay a dime of their own for a huge, expensive wedding in a catering hall than to a couple that spent $60 a head on a small backyard wedding?
That's nonsensical to me.
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| Posted 6/23/07 9:56 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by BJandDan
Posted by alnem
and being that they're not spending as much, i would take that into account.
But how do you know what they are actually paying?
I know first hand how expensive a back yard wedding is. After you add everything up, it is actually more expensive then a lot of catering halls.
They have to purchase EVERYTHING. Unless they have a bridal expert to tell them how much they will need for everything including liquor, tableclothes, tables, cutlery, dishes, glasses, they will have to estimate.
Like I said in a previous post, my brother STILL has tons of stuff left over from his wedding 10+ years ago.
We are not talking about a wedding like this. It is going to be food from a place with sternos, keg, balloons, like that. These are not the "china" type of people.
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| Posted 6/23/07 10:43 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Backyard Wedding
We are not talking about a wedding like this. It is going to be food from a place with sternos, keg, balloons, like that. These are not the "china" type of people.
so?? just because they're not " china" type people, why "punish" them with a smaller gift??
some people just don't want the big, overdone affair... it doesn't mean theyir marriage "deserves" any less recognition...
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| Posted 6/23/07 11:57 AM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by ml110
so?? just because they're not " china" type people, why "punish" them with a smaller gift??
some people just don't want the big, overdone affair... it doesn't mean theyir marriage "deserves" any less recognition...
I agree completely!
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| Posted 6/23/07 12:10 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by ml110
We are not talking about a wedding like this. It is going to be food from a place with sternos, keg, balloons, like that. These are not the "china" type of people.
so?? just because they're not " china" type people, why "punish" them with a smaller gift??
some people just don't want the big, overdone affair... it doesn't mean theyir marriage "deserves" any less recognition...
I agree, put yourself in their place, would you be slighted if people said this about you? Would you feel you deserve less because you arent "china" people?? I feel like you are waiting for someone to tell you its ok to skimp on the gift because its a "backyard wedding".
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| Posted 6/23/07 12:13 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Backyard Wedding
Posted by JennZ
Posted by ml110
We are not talking about a wedding like this. It is going to be food from a place with sternos, keg, balloons, like that. These are not the "china" type of people.
so?? just because they're not " china" type people, why "punish" them with a smaller gift??
some people just don't want the big, overdone affair... it doesn't mean theyir marriage "deserves" any less recognition...
I agree, put yourself in their place, would you be slighted if people said this about you? Would you feel you deserve less because you arent "china" people?? I feel like you are waiting for someone to tell you its ok to skimp on the gift because its a "backyard wedding".
The point the op was saying was that sometimes it costs more to do a wedding at home. I was indicating that this one will not be like that.
I am trying to get people to tell me to give less. I am going to give what I can afford with very little notice. It will definately be less than a normal wedding where you get an invitation and I would have known sooner because I have less time to save.
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| Posted 6/23/07 4:41 PM |
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