Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

So DD is just about 18 months old and her "personality" is emerging. Over the last few weeks she has progressively become more (to use DH's word) "bratty." She cries about everything (esp. when she can't get what she wants) and the whining is non-stop. My DD never cried unless something was wrong until recently.

I can come up with a few possible explanations:

-a development phase for her age group

-recently "promoted" to the older class in daycare. She was with babies, who typically don't behave that way. Now she's with almost 2 year olds who can do more, say more and act out more. She could be picking up their good (words/verbalization) and bad (stomping feet, no, etc.) habits/traits.

-I'm about to have a baby any day now and she could sense something

- or (a stretch) something is physically bothering her (although she seems perfectly healthy.)

DH insists that we are doing something wrong. That we are "failing" with our parenting techniques. That we are giving in too much or spoiling her. I don't know if I agree.

I guess it could a combination of all of them. I don't know. I just want my happy girl back!!

Message edited 5/22/2008 3:11:07 PM.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

If you are doing something wrong, then put me right there with you! lol

This is all VERY normal!! She is going through so many changes right now. Between being in a new class, to KNOWING and SENSING that something new is about to arrive..

I would just be very patient with her and continue doing what you're doing.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

DD whined CONSTANTLY around that age. She didn't before, and she's dropped a lot of the whining now. I think it's just a normal stage. They know what they want, but they can't communicate it to anyone.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

I think it's a combination of the top three things. I definitely don't think it's bad parenting. Lily is getting more bratty lately too. Hopefully we will both get our happy little girls back soon.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

Gilly has been hitting her "bratty" stage too

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

Brianna is very sweet but she too has a bratty side
when she doesnt get her way she hits or yells or now her new thing is calling everyone mean well she says you Meemee which either means meanie or mean to me
she always says Daddy meemee or Sissy Meemee
when my nephew is here she goes to bite
I dont think its a parenting problem I think its a bratty stage

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

I must be a bad mom too then. I think it is the age.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

This decribes John too a tee!!! Hannah is 17 days older than John and eveything you have said I can relate too. This all sounds normal to me.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

My DS got that way just before DD was scheduled to arrive. He was like a totally different child. My easy going sweet boy turned into a whining, tantruming, bratty kid. I was so afraid of how I would be able to handle him and a new baby at the same time. It's gotten so much better though. We still have tantrums and whining, but nothing compared to what he was doing. I've had other friends tell me their older child did the same thing right before the next baby was about to arrive. Don't blame yourself though! I think all kids go through this stage as they learn to become more independent and test you to see how much they can get away with. Hang in there!

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"

It's "other" as in otherwise known as the terrible twos, which really start at about 18-19 months.

Much of the freaking out is their inability to express themselves & have control over things.

I found helpful to start speaking like a toddler to some extent. "Juice?" "Juice, please" "Sarah wants juice please!"

Give choices - in other words give them some control. "Do you want milk or juice?" "Do you want to draw or do stickers?" Only give them TWO choices. Three is like a congressional meeting.

Involve them in things - we learned throwing himself on the floor in the kitchen = he wanted to close the refridgerator door. Putting ketchup on a burger versus on the side, was a major catastrophe. Also they change the rules on you daily. What he/she loves one day, they hate the next. They can't express how much they hate it, so they'll just cry, cry, cry until you start promising them a car.

Bascially take every day as if you live with an insane person, because really you are - at least temporarily insane.

As a last resort, during a tantrum, I threw one too - exactly like they did. I threw myself on the floor & started kicking & screaming. He stood there in horror. Then I said "See? It looks silly. Now come on, get your coat on."

Only worked for a few days & then he didn't think it was funny but hey a few days of peace were worth it.

Hang in there! It's only a blink until they're snotty teenagers.

Message edited 5/22/2008 8:05:39 PM.

Re: Bad parenting or development phase or "other"