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becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

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Nifheim
allo

Member since 1/09

5476 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

I still owe pics of the remodel but I had card problems and just purchased a new one.

Anyway - we did gutters right before the storm (thank god) and luckily with 9 trees on the property we had no damage. So I have been outside picking up small limbs and the neighbors one by one keep talking to me about our house. Then they start saying how amazing the house looks then go on to pointing out things that are wrong with our yard. Like the overgrown bushes, i told them we plan on tearing out everything since it's free and we spent all of our money on the house with gutters, new sheet rock, remodeling inside partially, etc (painting the exterior). I mean we just got two dumpsters filled them with the garbage left in the yard for us to deal with, we removed a lot of bushes before winter set in - WE JUST CLOSED IN MID NOVEMBER!

I am amazed both sides are asking me to remove trees and i told them i plan on but its costly and we will do so in the fall when we have some money again. They also ask about the fence (we do not have one and they all do but its falling down - its their fence you would think they would buy a new one but they are hinting for dh and i to do it) i am feeling overwhelmed. Dh and I work, these people are retired, they must think we are rich or something to be able to afford tree and shrub removal.

Has anyone else had to deal with this? They seem to be happy to see what we plan on doing but they want us to do it NOW like i can take off from work to pull bushes out this week.

Posted 3/17/10 9:58 AM
 
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

Member since 5/05

15287 total posts

Name:

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

If someone came to me and said they want me to take trees down on my property and that I should get a fence to replace their broken one, I would tell them I have no immediate plans to do so (regardless of what my real plan was) as we are working on the inside of the house first. How dare they!

Posted 3/17/10 10:01 AM
 

Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan

Member since 10/09

5796 total posts

Name:
MB

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Posted by Christine

If someone came to me and said they want me to take trees down on my property and that I should get a fence to replace their broken one, I would tell them I have no immediate plans to do so (regardless of what my real plan was) as we are working on the inside of the house first. How dare they!



ita- if its so important to them- let them buy a new fence and offer to pay for 1/2 the tree removal

Chat Icon dont let them stress you out!

Posted 3/17/10 10:03 AM
 

CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06

18178 total posts

Name:
Mama Cranky

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Posted by Christine

If someone came to me and said they want me to take trees down on my property and that I should get a fence to replace their broken one, I would tell them I have no immediate plans to do so (regardless of what my real plan was) as we are working on the inside of the house first. How dare they!



ITA-sounds like they are trying to take advanage of the new guys.

Posted 3/17/10 10:09 AM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

I have a neighbor like that, I just nod and say something about how expensive everything is and how hard it is to have to wait to do things, but it makes it worth it in the long run.

Posted 3/17/10 10:10 AM
 

JldDolphin

Member since 1/07

6929 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Jenn don't let your neighbors do this to you. Just tell them straight out that you don't have the money right now. When they talk about the fence, ask them if they are willing to put in half for that side of the property. But really, they shouldn't be asking you any of these things. You guys have done so much already and they should be happy that you guys have done all that you have done already. Don't stress, owning a home takes time to make it yours. Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/10 10:14 AM
 

neener1211
:-)

Member since 4/07

22952 total posts

Name:
J

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Some nerve. When people mention things to us of what needs to be done, I remind them that I have 29 years left on our mortgage, that is plenty of time to take care of things.

Posted 3/17/10 10:16 AM
 

Cpt2007
A new love!

Member since 1/08

5946 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Posted by JldDolphin

Jenn don't let your neighbors do this to you. Just tell them straight out that you don't have the money right now. When they talk about the fence, ask them if they are willing to put in half for that side of the property. But really, they shouldn't be asking you any of these things. You guys have done so much already and they should be happy that you guys have done all that you have done already. Don't stress, owning a home takes time to make it yours. Chat Icon



ita. don't let them get to you and tell them straight out that you are investing first on the inside so you can live there comfortably. Asthetics on the outside will wait a bit longer b/c it's expensive. I would also inocently say re the fence, "oh, well, we were told that the fence was actually yours on your property. we're fine with it as is for now, so don't feel like you need to replace it just b/c we're doing all of this work..." that will quiet them down!

Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/10 10:21 AM
 

Sparkyandang
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/08

766 total posts

Name:
Ang

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Posted by neener1211

Some nerve. When people mention things to us of what needs to be done, I remind them that I have 29 years left on our mortgage, that is plenty of time to take care of things.



That's an awesome line. Love it! I've been lucky with our neighbors so far but we'll see, we just moved in end of Sept.

jenn, don't let them bother you, you've done an amazing amount of work already.

Posted 3/17/10 10:22 AM
 

ThePinkGoose
In Your Hands

Member since 8/08

4706 total posts

Name:
Nunya

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Chat Icon How frustrating!! It sounds like you're doing a great job getting things done. Don't let anyone tell you what to do on your own property.

Posted 3/17/10 10:32 AM
 

babymakes3
Almost there!

Member since 7/06

7376 total posts

Name:

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Posted by neener1211

Some nerve. When people mention things to us of what needs to be done, I remind them that I have 29 years left on our mortgage, that is plenty of time to take care of things.



I'm using that line next time!

We had the exact situation last Summer, down to the remodeling, dumpsters, you name it.

The neighbors wanted us to take down trees because they make a mess in their pool. We told them that it's low priority at the moment and we might address it next Spring but that's more than I needed to say.

Don't let them get to you. You'll get there when you do. Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/10 10:38 AM
 

Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A

Member since 7/05

32475 total posts

Name:
Susan

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Our neighbor also asked about our fence that feel down back in the fall. We fixed it but I think that's a lot of nerve to assume you will do things because they think it needs to be done.

I could have left my fence down forever and it should be no concern of theirs.

Posted 3/17/10 10:39 AM
 

karen9508
LIF Infant

Member since 2/09

196 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

They have no business asking you when you will be removing things from YOUR yard.
You don't need to work around anyone elses schedule, just yours. If they continue to hound you with the bushes or fence, I'd ask them if they wanted to pay for it since they are in such a hurry.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

Posted 3/17/10 10:40 AM
 

Nifheim
allo

Member since 1/09

5476 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

thanks all its making me feel better. I have serious anxiety issues with the house (never used to care what people think but for some reason with the house its freaking me out) i have to remember that line LoL

Posted 3/17/10 11:19 AM
 

KimberlyScott
Graceyn=My World <3

Member since 10/08

4173 total posts

Name:
Kimberly

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Let it go thru one ear and out the other. DH was pressured by his neighbor to paint our fence the same color as her house since we share a fence and he did it. He also gave her part of our property to landscape and now that we have a rock garden it looks hideous! This all happened before I entered the pic and he kicks himself everyday for letting her pressure him into doing what she wanted. Don't let them get away with that. Don't even go half on a fence. If it's there fence, let them fix it.

Posted 3/17/10 11:52 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Do not listen to one thing. DO what you plan on doing when you plan on doing it and they can deal with it. And the only thing they can do is complain to the town if it is a code issue (which Im sure its not)

Take a deep breathe and enjoy your house on your schedule!!!!!!!

Posted 3/17/10 12:10 PM
 

mandasue
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/09

772 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

i know from all your posts you are busting your butt in that house and you dont worry one bit about what the neighbors think, they obviously have lived there a lot longer and have had lots of time to make their homes good......

and all the work you are doing is increasing the value of your home and thus their neighborhood which is a direct impact on the value of their homes

you do what is important to you as you can afford to do it and take your time to make things the way you want it....dont rush for anyone
ps i had this exact thing with my own mother, she wanted me to redo our half bath the weekend we moved in....she was like oh its just paint, and will only take a day or 2
my response was i plan to redo the bath and not just paint so when i am ready i will do it and you will not rush me bc you dont like the butterflies (the bath has stenciled butterflies that apparently annoy her)

Posted 3/17/10 1:05 PM
 

Nik211
my little monkey<3

Member since 5/08

3303 total posts

Name:
Nik

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

what jerks! you guys have done so much already - and they should be happy that they have neighbors like you who are working on the house! rome wasn't built in a day! don't let them get to you to much Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/10 1:38 PM
 

KittyGags
LIF Adult

Member since 7/09

5614 total posts

Name:

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

That is so rude.

I'd tell them to feel free to remove the bushes while you're at work, or to bring out the chainsaw next weekend!

Posted 3/17/10 4:46 PM
 

eddiesmommy
best buds!

Member since 5/09

11524 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

for what its worth, I dont think you owe them an explanation at all, especially whether it comes to whether or not you can or cannot afford to take care of some things right now. Your finances are none of their business and you shouldnt have to explain it to them.

Id just say "yeah, its on my list of things to do" and walk away.

So rude of them.

Posted 3/17/10 4:56 PM
 

Tine73

Member since 3/06

22093 total posts

Name:
*********

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

Posted by eddiesmommy

for what its worth, I dont think you owe them an explanation at all, especially whether it comes to whether or not you can or cannot afford to take care of some things right now. Your finances are none of their business and you shouldnt have to explain it to them.

Id just say "yeah, its on my list of things to do" and walk away.

So rude of them.



ITA - its none of their business when or why you are going to do these tasks. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/10 9:33 PM
 

GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

"I'm planning on leaving everything as-is. I love the shabby-chic look...It's all the rage in Hollywood now..." Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/18/10 7:21 AM
 

KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy

Member since 3/09

1579 total posts

Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

It's your property...you do what you want...and as long as you aren't violating any town codes who cares...my neighbor cut all the trees down & i live surrounded by trees...in my dream world i'd live in the middle of 5 acres so i didn't have neighbors Chat Icon

Posted 3/18/10 11:31 AM
 

greenfreak
.

Member since 9/06

11483 total posts

Name:
greenfreak

Re: becoming a bit overwhelmed (vent) neighbors are requesting

My question to you is... why do you feel obligated to these people? Just because they live to the left and right of you? It's one thing to have common courtesy towards your neighbors, it's another thing to entertain conversations on what improvements they think you should do.

If you continue doubting yourself like this, you will be enabling them to act this way with you. Tell them simply that you know what you want to do and it will get done in due time. No details, it's none of their business.

Perhaps if they continue, you should start telling them that they should replace their fence, change the color of their house, etc.

Posted 3/18/10 11:36 AM
 
 

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