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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Best Mom Advice
Posting here because this board is really the only one with traffic nowadays. A good friend of mine is pregnant and I want to put together a little thing with the best advice you can give a 1st time mom. I mean like something you wish you knew before having kids. Maybe you learned it along the way or like in hindsight you wish you knew to do something.
I googled it but I'm only coming up with the cheesy clichés like "sleep when the baby sleeps". I always found that one really annoying because it was never possible for me. Any inspiration helps. TIA!
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Posted 2/8/22 1:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Here are some but don’t know if good for a new mom as this comes from experience lol
Pick your battles
The days go slow but the years go fast
It’s ok to take a break
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| Posted 2/8/22 1:08 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Happy Mommy, happy baby. To me, that is the best advice. Do you. Baby will follow your lead. If you keep calm and cool, so will your baby. If you want to be a wound up, routinized neurotic, don't be surprised when your baby doesn't conform.
Other advice:
Make sure chapstick, mints, hair ties and Always Infinit pads are in your hospital bag.
Don't be a hero. Get the epidural. Make it known you want it right when you walk in the door.
Self care is super important in the post partum period. Get dressed every day, even if it's just yoga pants. Brush your hair, brush your teeth, be a human.
Feed the baby. It doesn't matter how. Just make sure the baby is fed. If BFing isn't working for you and/or for baby, don't worry about it or feel ashamed. Just feed the baby.
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| Posted 2/8/22 1:21 PM |
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angelicd77
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 794 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Best Mom Advice
Dont feel bad taking "me" time.
I refused for too long and PPD hit me hard with both of my kids...
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| Posted 2/8/22 1:47 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Build a village with like minded people, especially if u’re hoping to bfeed, do vaginal birth, etc. U’ll need people that have succeeded at things like that and that will provide u with support and good advice. A golden rule...do not hesitate to ask for help when u need it. We often feel like we don’t wanna bother anyone when that shouldn’t be the case. Mom and her baby is absolutely number #1 thing, nothing is more important, everything else can wait, laundry, cooking, cleaning, everything.
Message edited 2/8/2022 1:51:00 PM.
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| Posted 2/8/22 1:49 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Nothing is permanent. Your child will not always wake up every hour, or sleep in your bed, or eat nothing but goldfish, or refuse to wear socks even when its 10 degrees outside. It's just a phase. It will get better... and then maybe a little worse... and then better again. This is the only thing that gets me through some days. My son is almost 3 and still winds up in my bed every night (damn co-sleeping, breastfed, no daycare, pandemic raised velcro kid!!  ) but I know one day he won't. One day he won't even WANT to cuddle with me. So I'll bide my time, let him sneak in around 12/1 every night and take my peace and alone time wherever I can get it. And yes, my son also woke up every hour for months at a time, only ate goldfish unless I begged and bribed and threatened, and only recently decided socks are not pure evil.
Also, every kid is different. Your first kid might be the easiest ever- sleep through the night at 8 weeks, eat almost anything and everything you put in front of them, basically potty train herself at 2.5 years old, love school, be an independent social butterfly and your second kid might be like the one above who will test the limits of your patience and ability to survive with no sleep. Ask me how I know!! 
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| Posted 2/8/22 1:53 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by Momma2015
Nothing is permanent. Your child will not always wake up every hour, or sleep in your bed, or eat nothing but goldfish, or refuse to wear socks even when its 10 degrees outside. It's just a phase. It will get better... and then maybe a little worse... and then better again. This is the only thing that gets me through some days. My son is almost 3 and still winds up in my bed every night (damn co-sleeping, breastfed, no daycare, pandemic raised velcro kid!! ) but I know one day he won't. One day he won't even WANT to cuddle with me. So I'll bide my time, let him sneak in around 12/1 every night and take my peace and alone time wherever I can get it. And yes, my son also woke up every hour for months at a time, only ate goldfish unless I begged and bribed and threatened, and only recently decided socks are not pure evil.
Also, every kid is different. Your first kid might be the easiest ever- sleep through the night at 8 weeks, eat almost anything and everything you put in front of them, basically potty train herself at 2.5 years old, love school, be an independent social butterfly and your second kid might be like the one above who will test the limits of your patience and ability to survive with no sleep. Ask me how I know!!
Velcro kid...
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| Posted 2/8/22 2:06 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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Best Mom Advice
No matter how tired you get, remember: some day your kids will sleep until noon.
Cherish every moment of their childhood, some day your home will be quiet and you will have more time on your hands then you will know what to do with. And you will MISS IT.
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| Posted 2/8/22 2:41 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Best Mom Advice
Go with your gut
It's ok to say yes to help
Don't forget you are not just a mom but a woman too so take care of yourself.
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| Posted 2/8/22 2:52 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by Momma2015
Nothing is permanent. Your child will not always wake up every hour, or sleep in your bed, or eat nothing but goldfish, or refuse to wear socks even when its 10 degrees outside. It's just a phase. It will get better... and then maybe a little worse... and then better again. This is the only thing that gets me through some days. My son is almost 3 and still winds up in my bed every night (damn co-sleeping, breastfed, no daycare, pandemic raised velcro kid!! ) but I know one day he won't. One day he won't even WANT to cuddle with me. So I'll bide my time, let him sneak in around 12/1 every night and take my peace and alone time wherever I can get it. And yes, my son also woke up every hour for months at a time, only ate goldfish unless I begged and bribed and threatened, and only recently decided socks are not pure evil.
Also, every kid is different. Your first kid might be the easiest ever- sleep through the night at 8 weeks, eat almost anything and everything you put in front of them, basically potty train herself at 2.5 years old, love school, be an independent social butterfly and your second kid might be like the one above who will test the limits of your patience and ability to survive with no sleep. Ask me how I know!!
This reminds me of my sister! Her first baby was so easy. She was amazed that other mothers said it was so hard dealing with an infant or toddler. Then she had her son! She understodd then! LOL!
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| Posted 2/8/22 2:57 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Best Mom Advice
No one is perfect. Don't believe everything you see on Facebook and Instagram. Sometimes it takes 30 minutes of screaming and 100 photos to get the one shot you see on social media. It's ok for your kids watch tv, play on their ipad and eat junk food.
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| Posted 2/8/22 2:57 PM |
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by busymomonli
No matter how tired you get, remember: some day your kids will sleep until noon.
Cherish every moment of their childhood, some day your home will be quiet and you will have more time on your hands then you will know what to do with. And you will MISS IT.
Have to tell you, I LOVE the quiet and clean house when the kids are not around. I will NOT miss the chaos and fighting and messes
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| Posted 2/8/22 2:58 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Make your husband do the work too. It's not only your job. And remember, when you leave the kids with their father, he is "parenting." Not "babysitting."
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:08 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Make time for yourself. Even if it's just ten minutes a day for a nice, hot shower. You're no good to anyone if you don't take the time to recharge yourself.
Let people help you. It's okay to ask for and accept help. You'll be a much more relaxed, happy mom if you do.
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
Congrats to your friend on her first baby!! So exciting!!
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:10 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by nycbuslady
Posted by Momma2015
Nothing is permanent. Your child will not always wake up every hour, or sleep in your bed, or eat nothing but goldfish, or refuse to wear socks even when its 10 degrees outside. It's just a phase. It will get better... and then maybe a little worse... and then better again. This is the only thing that gets me through some days. My son is almost 3 and still winds up in my bed every night (damn co-sleeping, breastfed, no daycare, pandemic raised velcro kid!! ) but I know one day he won't. One day he won't even WANT to cuddle with me. So I'll bide my time, let him sneak in around 12/1 every night and take my peace and alone time wherever I can get it. And yes, my son also woke up every hour for months at a time, only ate goldfish unless I begged and bribed and threatened, and only recently decided socks are not pure evil.
Also, every kid is different. Your first kid might be the easiest ever- sleep through the night at 8 weeks, eat almost anything and everything you put in front of them, basically potty train herself at 2.5 years old, love school, be an independent social butterfly and your second kid might be like the one above who will test the limits of your patience and ability to survive with no sleep. Ask me how I know!!
This reminds me of my sister! Her first baby was so easy. She was amazed that other mothers said it was so hard dealing with an infant or toddler. Then she had her son! She understodd then! LOL!
I laugh because this was me as well!!! My DD was a breeze, easiest baby/kid on the planet. I always said that if I could clone her I'd have 12 kids!! haha
Then my DS came along!!
Completely different in every way and a much more challenging personality. DH and I use to joke that if he was our first he might have been our last. He's definitely a handful!
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:15 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Best Mom Advice
That parenting is hard. It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. You don’t have to cherish every moment. Some moments suck and it’s ok to admit that.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:23 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
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I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:26 PM |
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by LuckyStar
That parenting is hard. It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. You don’t have to cherish every moment. Some moments suck and it’s ok to admit that.
YES!!! It is ok to be real and most people would rather be around people who are real and not try and paint a perfect picture of motherhood.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:31 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
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I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
I would also broaden this to say nurture aspects of your life outside of your child. Your career, your hobbies and your relationships in general.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:33 PM |
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
:
I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
So true that you marriage should be coming first as I see every.single.day these mothers on my social media who are devastated that their kids are leaving and they don't know what to do with their lives anymore. They pushed their marriage to the side for 18 years, didn't have any other life but their kids and now it is kicking them in the butt.
You DO need to tell your spouse when you need help though. I am the type that will do everything as I like things a certain way but sometimes I just have to give in and ask for help.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:33 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
:
I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
I would also broaden this to say nurture aspects of your life outside of your child. Your career, your hobbies and your relationships in general.
YES - I feel like the expectations of mothers today to "do it all" are so unrealistic. This is not 1955 and we are not June Cleaver. You don't want to lose yourself in motherhood and find that that's all you have.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:47 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
:
I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
ITA!! You should BOTH be taking care of each other and the marriage. 100%!
I just think it's so easy to get caught up in the parenting thing that you forget about each other and that's unfortunately how some couples drift apart. You just need to make time for each other as a couple outside of being mom and dad.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:49 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
:
I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
I would also broaden this to say nurture aspects of your life outside of your child. Your career, your hobbies and your relationships in general.
Definitely! You need to know who you are as your own person and have things you enjoy outside of being a mom. It's so important.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:51 PM |
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Not kid/mom specific but often overlooked is.............don't forget about your husband. Make time for each other and always continue to nurture your relationship. This parenting ride goes quicker than you think and when they are all grown up you will be left with what you started with which is each other. So take care of your marriage.
:
I have heard this over and over again as well and I do agree with it, however, I feel like most women who "forget" about their husband, it's because their husband "forgets" that it's not the mother's responsibility to do everything. Women are generally burnt out way more than men are and we certainly don't need another child to take care of. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open so that your husband knows what you need from him as far as support around your household and emotional support. Make sure it's a two way street. If he is doing his fair share, you're less likely to have resentment for your partner. I just feel like the way this advice is typically shared (as in when my mother in law shared it with me) it was just making it another burden to add to my already overwhelming list. Like oh make sure you take care of your man too! And honestly, it is true, that you do have to take care of your marriage, just don't let that also be a burden only you need to bear.
I would also broaden this to say nurture aspects of your life outside of your child. Your career, your hobbies and your relationships in general.
YES - I feel like the expectations of mothers today to "do it all" are so unrealistic. This is not 1955 and we are not June Cleaver. You don't want to lose yourself in motherhood and find that that's all you have.
MANY, MANY do. I can show you the comments every.day from moms of older kids and young adults. I actually find it quite sad that they have had NOTHING but their kids as their lives 100%.
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| Posted 2/8/22 3:54 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Best Mom Advice
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by busymomonli
No matter how tired you get, remember: some day your kids will sleep until noon.
Cherish every moment of their childhood, some day your home will be quiet and you will have more time on your hands then you will know what to do with. And you will MISS IT.
Have to tell you, I LOVE the quiet and clean house when the kids are not around. I will NOT miss the chaos and fighting and messes
I never thought I would miss it. But with two in college, it's so lonely sometimes. I miss them.
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| Posted 2/8/22 4:09 PM |
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