BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Im having a hard time figuring out how im supposed to make this work. DS feeds every 3 hrs. Im basically confined to my house all day long bc of it.
Clearly there are plenty of BF moms who leave their home. But what i dont understand is- HOW?? I thought pumping was going to allow me some freedom but didnt realize at first that just bc i leave a bottle for DH to give DS, doesnt mean im not going to need to empty my breasts. Therefore needing to pump.

How do you fit BFing into your life? I know DS is only 3 wks old so i dont care all that much that im stuck inside right now, but eventually i am going to want to go out.

Im just having a hard time juggling this. Any words of wisdom or advice?

Message edited 12/8/2009 9:14:49 AM.

Re: BF moms- plehow do you make "life" work?

Hey Mich just wanted to give you some hugs!! I just posted about formula fed babies.. Who knew feeding your baby would be this complicated no matter which method you use!!!

Re: BF moms- plehow do you make "life" work?

It is really hard at first, especially with your first baby - that's how I felt with Alex and it really contributed greatly to my baby blues.

Have you tried nursing when you're out? I was too afraid to do this with my first, so like you, I always felt so confined to the schedule and to home. But, a bunch of my friends had babies after, and they nursed everywhere and anywhere, discreetly, and I was really impressed with the amount of freedom it gave them, so I decided to go for it with Yael.

This time around, when she was just a week old, I was out and about with her, at restaurants, shopping, the mall, and anytime I felt full, or she needed to eat, I just nursed her, with my nursing cover. It's a little hard to adapt to at first, but it's really liberating

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Posted by Bxgell2

It is really hard at first, especially with your first baby - that's how I felt with Alex and it really contributed greatly to my baby blues.

Have you tried nursing when you're out? I was too afraid to do this with my first, so like you, I always felt so confined to the schedule and to home. But, a bunch of my friends had babies after, and they nursed everywhere and anywhere, discreetly, and I was really impressed with the amount of freedom it gave them, so I decided to go for it with Yael.

This time around, when she was just a week old, I was out and about with her, at restaurants, shopping, the mall, and anytime I felt full, or she needed to eat, I just nursed her, with my nursing cover. It's a little hard to adapt to at first, but it's really liberating

Re: BF moms- plehow do you make "life" work?

All I can say is you just make it work.

With DD#1 she never took a bottle...for 16 months I EBF'd and when she needed to eat while we were out no matter where we were...I nursed her. Covered up and fed her.

If I had to go out alone, I would feed her before I left and then did what I had to do in 2 or 3 hours and back home I came. It S*CKED for a while, but then when she got older and I was nursing less I would have "snacks" for her instead...so I could appease her with some cheerios, or fruit or something. Same if I went out alone...she was on solids at 6 months, so that really helped.

I didn't do too much without her, TBH...because of her never taking a bottle. Once you get through the serious demand time it becomes 2nd nature, at least it did for me. I really didn't think about it too much, it was just the way it was.

I always tried to have something pumped just in case though.

With DD#2 I'm going down the same path. She's almost 2 months and still EBF. She has taken a bottle for DH while I was out, but I won't be away from her for more than 2-3 hours either.

Like I said...you just fall into a routine, a pattern. Right now you're too in demand. But it DOES get easier and you WILL figure out a "life" I promise

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Once you have established your supply, you can "skip" a feeding once in a while or pump when you are out if it is a long while (like an event or work).
Once, when DS was little, I went to a baby shower and left the baby home with DH. I brought my pump with me and pumped after the shower. I have pumped at family events, weddings, etc! You learn to adjust

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Posted by conigs25

Posted by Bxgell2

It is really hard at first, especially with your first baby - that's how I felt with Alex and it really contributed greatly to my baby blues.

Have you tried nursing when you're out? I was too afraid to do this with my first, so like you, I always felt so confined to the schedule and to home. But, a bunch of my friends had babies after, and they nursed everywhere and anywhere, discreetly, and I was really impressed with the amount of freedom it gave them, so I decided to go for it with Yael.

This time around, when she was just a week old, I was out and about with her, at restaurants, shopping, the mall, and anytime I felt full, or she needed to eat, I just nursed her, with my nursing cover. It's a little hard to adapt to at first, but it's really liberating

I have thought about this but as of now, DS isnt "allowed" out now anywa. Im talking more about times DS isnt w/ me

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Thanks ladies. Thats basically what i needed to hear. I just wanted to make sure it wasnt me. That i was missing something.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Actually every 3 hrs is pretty good.... DS ate every 1.5 until he was over 3 months old

Go by yourself a coverup....when I was at certain places and didnt feel comfortable nursing; I would go sit in my truck...

I also would go to a friends or to my moms house when I was getting real antsy... no germs...and I felt completly comfortable....sometimes the change of scenary is nice...

DS wasnt given a bottle until he was over 6 weeks old... so until then- I really didnt go out alone, unless it was a quick trip to the store or something...

Once I started pumping and giving him a bottle of EBM here and there... I was able to be away from home alot more...

For me...the only way I "make" it work...is to put myself on a schedule...just like him...pumping/nursing has just become part of my daily routine...

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Do you have a peanut shell? It's a great nursing cover up. I found it so easy to use out in public. I would nurse just about anywhere with it.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

If you want to go out without the baby-- eventually it won't be bad, then when you get home, you can pump. 3 hours is a pretty decent window to get out for a little.

Sasha nursed every 2 hours-- so I completely understand where you are coming from.

I would definitely get a nursing cover-- and while you may not see yourself nursing in public now, you eventually will. I also tend to go to what I call "safe places"-- where I know I will be able to find a good place to sit and nurse and be able to change the baby, etc.

Don't get so overwhelmed right now-- it's really one step at a time, and everything will come much easier and you'll be able to get out and bring the baby and not feel stressed about it.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

It's a little overwhelming at first, but you will get in some sort of routine and figure out what you feel comfortable with. Chloe nursed every 2-3 hours in the beginning, sometimes more often and it was difficult. I would always feed her right before I left. If I needed to go somewhere and she was due to eat in 1/2 - 1 hr I would move up her feeding.

A lot of places have a family restroom or place that you can nurse. They are not always the nicest, but if it would make you feel more comfortable, it's worth it. I have fed Chloe standing up in the bathroom of a restaurant before. The 1st time was a little stressful, but after a while I just got used to it and it was no big deal

I grew to be pretty relaxed with feeding in public. I was always more worried about making other people feel weird. I have fed (and still do) Chloe in my car a lot. Especially on the weekend when we are out with DH all day long.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

When I was on maternity leave I would only go out in between feedings mostly.

But if I had somewhere to go all day I would leave enough bottles of BM for whoever was watching her. I suggest bringing your pump with you if you're out all day... i made the mistake of going to a baby shower all day when DD was about 5 weeks old and not pumping for 8 hours, wow did that hurt!

Now (4 months PP) I can go several hours without pumping and they don't get engorged like that anymore.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

DD feeds every 3 hours, but I don't let that stop me from doing what I need to do. I'll feed her right before we go out and if I'm in a place where I don't want to nurse in public then I'll have a pumped bottle of milk ready to go. If I'm outside the house longer than 3 hours (like going shopping), I'll come back to the car and pump for a bit and go back into the stores. I went to two weddings before she was 6 weeks old and managed to pump milk while I was away from her. When we're going to family parties, I'll bring a nursing cover or keep my pump around. It's tough, but eventually you'll get the hang of it

Now if only I can find cute tops that are nursing friendly!

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

It is hard at first, but just remember that your baby is still so little and new. And to be quite honest, Bfing really is a big sacrifice. I have been EBFing DD for almost 9 months and I find it easier to feed her myself that to pump and give her a bottle, b/c like you said - you still have the issue of yourself! There have been many weddings this year where I had to bring my pump to the reception and pump in the bathroom - I even went as far as to pump in the public bathroom at South St Seaport - it was disgusting, but it's what I have chosen to do. Like I said, it really is a life sacrifice. And I think in the next few weeks, you will decide if it's really for you or if it's just too much - for many people it is. And there is nothing wrong with you feeling that way.

Edited to say: ITA with the PPs that you should def get a nursing cover - they are great! And believe it or not, you can pretty much find a place to feed DC where-ever you go - when in doubt- the back seat of the car works great! And Nordstrom at Roosevelt Field has a mother's lounge - the perfect nursing spot when you are up to taking DC to the mall!! (upsatirs in the childrens section)

Message edited 12/8/2009 10:13:28 AM.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

I didn't really start leaving the house until around 8 weeks. DS was still nursing for 45 minutes per session. There was no way I could get out of the house without learning how to nurse in public. I ended up meeting up with a group of other moms, many of whom were also BFing. It made it easier to get over any concerns I had about nursing in public.

DS was born in December so I spent a decent amount of time at the mall. I took advantage of the Nordstrom's Mother's Lounges. If I was at a restaurant and DS was hungry, I'd just nurse there. The more I nursed in public, the easier it became. Eventually, DS started going longer between feedings and nursing for somewhat shorter amounts of time.

As far as being away from him, I didn't leave him for long periods of time at the beginning. I did have to go to my brother's engagement party when DS was 8 weeks old. I brought a manual pump with me and ended up pumping in the bathroom. I also carried my manual pump with me when I had to go to other events. It takes a lot longer and it isn't as efficient as an electric pump, but I at least got some relief while I was away from DS.

It will get easier for you.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

I hear you and I rarely leave the house...and I am exclusively pumping IF I do leave the house it is inbetweem feedings.I feel like a slave to this freakin pump.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Mine never took a bottle...so he was attached to me forever.

If we were out somewhere when I started to feel an explosion coming on, I would go into restroom and hand express into private sink/toilet. it would take like 3 minutes and really helped.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

we've all been there!!! in the very beginning, as a new mom, the simple task of leaving the house seemed daunting!
by the time you finish feeding/changing the baby, getting yourself dressed and ready to go outside, it's nap time or time to feed the baby again!
you think to yourself that you will never go outside again and you are on house arrest!

dont worry! set up small goals for yourself. have the day sort of mapped out in your mind. during the first nap, get yourself washed, dressed, fed. then when the baby wakes up, change his diaper and dress him for outdoors, and THEEEEEEEEN feed the baby. this is key! i would make sure the last thing i did before i left the house was feed the baby, that way i knew i had a good 2-3 hour window before the next feeding.
as soon as you are done feeding the baby GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!
go for a walk, go for a drive, visit a relative- do something.
if you bring the baby with you, then you can feed him in the car during his next feeding. if your dh is watching the baby, and you are running a little late, have him start the baby on a bottle and when you get home you can finish feeding him or pump!

good luck!!!! believe me, things will get better!

Message edited 12/8/2009 10:44:43 AM.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

I got a hand pump. We actually had to drive to Binghamton(from Raleigh) for a family emergency and I was so engorged we had to stop at Target so I could buy a pump(I don't know what I was thinking) I pumped 10 oz in like 5 minutes. I brought a coller bag with ice packs and my Lansinoh storage bags

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

you do exactly that...you MAKE it work.

right now it's too soon for you to skip a feeding/pumping session. you want to make sure your supply is WELL established.

after that, arm yourself with a nursing cover and an adapter for your car.

I have nursed at family dinners, in a restaurant etc. I pump in a small room at work 3 times a day and I even pumped while waiting for the doctor on Friday.

I would really love to buy a second pump to leave at work...it sucks having to lug it around every day...but for now it's what I do.

I try to pump right before I leave to go anywhere and then I try to get home within 3 hours from that. sometimes it happens, sometimes my boobs feel like they are about to explode b/c I pass that time marker.

the funny thing about breastfeeding is that when you REALLY want to do it, nothing will stop you. not poor latch, not poor supply, not having a baby strapped to your breast 24/7, not sick pain from surgery/episiotomy/hemorhoids/NOTHING.

it's this crazy drive...this NEED to give your child YOUR milk that makes you VERY creative with how you handle it and your life.

necessity is the mother of all invention.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Once DD could go out I would BF wherever i went. I would go to huntington mall and BF in the lounge area near the bathroom in lord and taylor. if i went to target i would BF in the car before i went in. you make it work.
Before DD could go out, i would pump or feed before i left and if i wanted to stay out longer than 3 hours i would bring the hand pump (fits in a purse) and pump and dump (sad to waste the milk but sometime you just NEED to get out!). we went to a concert a MSG when DD was 4 weeks old and i used the handpump in the bathroom and flushed the milk down the toilet. i was sad to waste it but so worth getting out for the night

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

Posted by Ophelia



the funny thing about breastfeeding is that when you REALLY want to do it, nothing will stop you. not poor latch, not poor supply, not having a baby strapped to your breast 24/7, not sick pain from surgery/episiotomy/hemorhoids/NOTHING.

it's this crazy drive...this NEED to give your child YOUR milk that makes you VERY creative with how you handle it and your life.

necessity is the mother of all invention.

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

I felt very trapped in the beginning. It took a long time before my daughter went beyond 2 hours without a feeding. So by the time I finished feeding her, I couldn't go anywhere because within an hour I would have to be back home.

It gets better. When the stretches get longer.
I think the hardest part is feeling like you cant get up and go somewhere.

I wasn't able to pump enough for a feeding until probably 8-9 weeks. Then I was able to make bottles for DH, Prior to that I had to be back home. Or supplement with formula.

I don't breastfeed in public, It's just not my scene. But I will find a fitting room to nurse if she wakes up while shopping. We went out to lunch and she woke up, so I went back out to the car and nursed her there.

It gets easier. You figure out how to work it into your day/errands.

I think at 3 weeks I thought "I'm never going to be able to leave the house, or be able to get anything done in my house ever again!

Re: BF moms- how do you make "life" work?

It gets easier as they get older! I remember feeling like I was confined to my bed with DS in the beginning! His feedings lasted forever and I felt like I barely had time without him attached to the boob!