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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Boss situation...need advice
So I had a meeting with my boss today and he smelled heavily of alcohol.
My coworkers have often commented that his eyes are blood shot and he smells like he's been drinking. Since I've never witnessed it first hand, I could never back it up, but there is no mistaking it today.
I'm in the HR department and was a generalist for a number of years. If this was one of my clients, I would immediately address it with the head of HR.
But this is my boss and we have a good relationship and I honestly don't know what's best in this situation.
Do I talk to him myself? Do I tell the head of HR (who used to be my boss)? Do I do nothing?
Any advice would be appreciated.
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Posted 3/31/06 11:32 AM  |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I don't work in a corporate setting, so my response may be different, but honestly, if I liked my boss and had a good realtionship with him, I think I would talk to him about it. I would let him know that I am concerned about him and that other people in the office have commented on it and that I would try to help him deal with the problem if I could.
I guess there is a chance that if this upsets him, that he could be angry with you and take it out on you, but if I cared about the guy, I don't think I could just let it go.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:37 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I would only mention what is effecting his or your work performance. If it is not effecting your performance, or his, I would not say anything. But, this is JMHO
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:40 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by pmpkn087
I would only mention what is effecting his or your work performance. If it is not effecting your performance, or his, I would not say anything. But, this is JMHO
I agree with this.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:41 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I would sit down with the head of HR to discuss the issue. I dont' think as a subordinate you should be addressing it with your boss (no matter how friendly you are). If your company is large enough to have an HR department, I would think they would have dealt with something similar in the past.
Making him realize that he is jeopardizing his job with drinking maybe a step towards realizing there is a problem. Not addressing the issue, honestly, makes the HR department look completely ineffective if they can't handle their own problems.
I would do this sooner rather than later so his boss can witness it himself.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:43 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by pmpkn087
I would only mention what is effecting his or your work performance. If it is not effecting your performance, or his, I would not say anything. But, this is JMHO
I agree with this. If you guys have a good relationship then dont stir things up getting into their personal business unless its effecting work. good luck this is a tough one. but at least its a good thing you guys are good friends so that in the event you need to talk to them its not as uncomfortable.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:44 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by girlygrl33
Posted by pmpkn087
I would only mention what is effecting his or your work performance. If it is not effecting your performance, or his, I would not say anything. But, this is JMHO
I agree with this. If you guys have a good relationship then dont stir things up getting into their personal business unless its effecting work. good luck this is a tough one. but at least its a good thing you guys are good friends so that in the event you need to talk to them its not as uncomfortable.
I disagree completely. It is affecting his work performance if her co-workers have commented on it --- and to wait for it to affect his performance is negligent on the company's part. I'm sure you have some type of guideline as to alcohol in the workplace - and he's violated it.
eta. Also not sure who is in HR on this thread, but I'm divisional HR in my company.
Message edited 3/31/2006 11:47:41 AM.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:46 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by girlygrl33
Posted by pmpkn087
I would only mention what is effecting his or your work performance. If it is not effecting your performance, or his, I would not say anything. But, this is JMHO
I agree with this. If you guys have a good relationship then dont stir things up getting into their personal business unless its effecting work. good luck this is a tough one. but at least its a good thing you guys are good friends so that in the event you need to talk to them its not as uncomfortable.
I disagree completely. It is affecting his work performance if her co-workers have commented on it --- and to wait for it to affect his performance is negligent on the company's part. I'm sure you have some type of guideline as to alcohol in the workplace - and he's violated it.
eta. Also not sure who is in HR on this thread, but I'm divisional HR in my company.
Heres the problem she faces as well with this, as I was once in the corporate world - If she goes to her boss, allthough yes she is looking out for the company it also becomes a snitch/trust problem as well with her fellow coworkers. To think by her saying something will not go around the office or company is foolish. We dont know for sure just by comments that his eyes are blood shot and smells of alcohol is affecting his performance. We assume it unless noted. going to him/her too may change the relationship she has with them too. Unless there is a way to annonimously report the issue if in fact it is affecting the company then do it. I feel that if others have seen it then the big bosses should have seen it too.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:55 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by girlygrl33
Heres the problem she faces as well with this, as I was once in the corporate world - If she goes to her boss, allthough yes she is looking out for the company it also becomes a snitch/trust problem as well with her fellow coworkers. To think by her saying something will not go around the office or company is foolish. We dont know for sure just by comments that his eyes are blood shot and smells of alcohol is affecting his performance. We assume it unless noted. going to him/her too may change the relationship she has with them too. Unless there is a way to annonimously report the issue if in fact it is affecting the company then do it. I feel that if others have seen it then the big bosses should have seen it too.
I can tell you if her boss's boss is confidential & professional enough about this, he/she will handle it discreetly. Particularly if he/she can witness it for themselves.
The fact is the rumors are already started around the office. At this point it's damage control.
As someone who had an employee just get out of rehab - only immediate management knows & HR. Outside of those people, it's a HIPPA violation once they're in rehab.
Message edited 3/31/2006 11:59:46 AM.
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| Posted 3/31/06 11:58 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by girlygrl33
Heres the problem she faces as well with this, as I was once in the corporate world - If she goes to her boss, allthough yes she is looking out for the company it also becomes a snitch/trust problem as well with her fellow coworkers. To think by her saying something will not go around the office or company is foolish. We dont know for sure just by comments that his eyes are blood shot and smells of alcohol is affecting his performance. We assume it unless noted. going to him/her too may change the relationship she has with them too. Unless there is a way to annonimously report the issue if in fact it is affecting the company then do it. I feel that if others have seen it then the big bosses should have seen it too.
I can tell you if her boss's boss is confidential & professional enough about this, he/she will handle it discreetly. Particularly if he/she can witness it for themselves.
The fact is the rumors are already started around the office. At this point it's damage control.
As someone who had an employee just get out of rehab - only immediate management knows & HR. Outside of those people, it's a HIPPA violation once they're in rehab.
I hope they are professional about it but people talk when they hear someone got fired or repramanded (sp) as far as HIPPA thats regarding medical information privacy I dont see how that applys here. if he went to rehab then yes to talk about his going to rehab is private but not the issue of him drinking on the job and someone saying something about it.
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| Posted 3/31/06 12:05 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would sit down with the head of HR to discuss the issue. I dont' think as a subordinate you should be addressing it with your boss (no matter how friendly you are). If your company is large enough to have an HR department, I would think they would have dealt with something similar in the past.
Making him realize that he is jeopardizing his job with drinking maybe a step towards realizing there is a problem. Not addressing the issue, honestly, makes the HR department look completely ineffective if they can't handle their own problems.
I would do this sooner rather than later so his boss can witness it himself.
I knew someone in HR would have a different answer than I would and this is probably a better one than what I gave. I have not worked in large companies and where I work, there isn't really an HR department, so I was thinking of it more as a "someone needs to do something" situation.
Good luck - whatever you end up doing, it is a difficult position to be in
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| Posted 3/31/06 12:46 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I can agree with all these points of view. That's my problem.
1. I am HR and I should be reporting this for the good of the company. He smells of alcohol, and he just drove to lunch - what if he took the team out for lunch and drove and I knew he had been drinking? That is like negligence on my part.
2. He is my boss and if we can't PROVE that he's been drinking, then I am the snitch and the trouble maker in the dept.
3. He is a friend of mine too (I've known him for 8 years, the last two he's been my boss) and I feel like I should talk to him about it first before taking it to HR to give him a chance to address it himself.
As far as affecting his performance, I can't really say one way or another. He's a very hands-off boss and is out a lot. Whether that's because of a drinking issue or not I don't know.
Unfortunatly in a situation where I don't know what to do, I'll probably wind up doing nothing.
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| Posted 3/31/06 1:14 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Frankly it isn't your place to say/mention anything. You are his subordinate.
I would just drop the issue unless he is treating you badly because of this (which it sounds like to me he isnt).
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| Posted 3/31/06 1:18 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I have no idea what to advise you, but here are some it is a tough situation!
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| Posted 3/31/06 1:22 PM |
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PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by DjPiLL
Frankly it isn't your place to say/mention anything. You are his subordinate.
I would just drop the issue unless he is treating you badly because of this (which it sounds like to me he isnt).
I disagree with you first point... she CAN do something about it if she wants to, regardless her level in the company.
But I agree with your second point, personally I would drop it, unless his drinking starting to effect your work.
ETA: I am in HR as well.
Message edited 3/31/2006 1:24:31 PM.
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| Posted 3/31/06 1:22 PM |
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FelAndJon
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Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Obviously there is a VERY fine line here as to what is appropriate or not (on your part). I think it is unfair of you to just leave it. As you said, the rumors are already going around. If you have known him for that long, you could always address it directly to him as "this is what others are saying".
If that makes you uncomfortable, you should address it with higher-ups (even by an annonymous letter). Especially since you are in HR, there are tactful ways they will handle it. He has obvioulsy been with the firm for a long time so it doesn't seem like they would just fire him or do something that drastic without looking into this. They will evaluate the situation then take whatever measures necessary.
Maybe it is his new cologne and he has allergies? You really never know and you can't assume he has a problem. Maybe he is going through personal stuff at home and needs to take the edge off?
Regardless of whatever happens, good luck to you in this decision. I know it can't be easy.
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| Posted 3/31/06 1:42 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Thanks everyone.
He just left for the day (rescheduling my performance appraisal discussion until Monday).
I have the weekend to think about it.
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| Posted 3/31/06 2:06 PM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I would discuss it privately with him first. Stress that you're talking to him as a friend, and you're very concerned for him.
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| Posted 3/31/06 2:18 PM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by dpli
my response may be different, but honestly, if I liked my boss and had a good realtionship with him, I think I would talk to him about it. I would let him know that I am concerned about him and that other people in the office have commented on it and that I would try to help him deal with the problem if I could.
I guess there is a chance that if this upsets him, that he could be angry with you and take it out on you, but if I cared about the guy, I don't think I could just let it go.
I agree with you. I work for a large corporation and I think your boss deserves a chance before this goes to HR and on his records. If after speaking with him, he does not heed the warning, then it's really his fault.
Perhaps he's going through a rough spot on his life and he hasn't realized the talks and everything else that is happening.
I think since you mentioned that you both a good relationship, he will appreciate that you have taken the time to do this. JMO
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| Posted 3/31/06 2:23 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I am not in the business world, however, unless this person's actions were directly affecting the safety of other human lives, I don't think I would take that matter into my own hands. When it comes down to it, you don't know if your co-workers have reported it already, and since they have more background with the issue, it's on their shoulders to report it more so. If you've only experienced it once, I would not jeopardize a good working relationship. You never know what the situation is and putting yourself in the middle may cause more of a headache for yourself than it is worth.
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| Posted 3/31/06 2:24 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by leighla
He just left for the day (rescheduling my performance appraisal discussion until Monday).
I have the weekend to think about it.
Unfortunately from this (not sure whether this was preplanned to leave early or not), it sounds like it may already be affecting his performance. I know firsthand how hard it is to tell your boss/friend that you think he has a problem. I'm very close with my boss & fiercely overprotective of him. I think because of that relationship, you need to act on it rather than let it slide.
My fear for you is that when confronted that they may or may not have a problem, people with problems with alcohol get defensive. You know your HR department & old boss best. If you think they can handle this professionally, than I would still say you need to talk to them about it rather than handling it on your own.
If you think it's too disloyal to go above his head, than you need to sit down & have a heart to heart talk (AFTER you have a copy of your performance review in hand). Do yourself a favor & document that you're having the conversation before you have it - even if it's just sending yourself an email. After you talk to him, again document the conversation you had & the outcome of it.
Because I'm friends with my boss, I wouldn't want people talking about him either. He needs to know people (w/o naming names of course) are talking about it whether it is true or not.
No matter what decision you make...it's a tough one.
Message edited 3/31/2006 2:43:09 PM.
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| Posted 3/31/06 2:42 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by PiyoPika566
I disagree with you first point... she CAN do something about it if she wants to, regardless her level in the company.
ETA: I am in HR as well.
She really can't do anything. What can she do? Complain about him?
If she complains.... that could be something she could lose her job over if she manages to piss him off.
What if the person she complains to is a good friend of her boss. Then her boss says "I want her gone". Then its time to find a new job.
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| Posted 3/31/06 3:23 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by PiyoPika566
I disagree with you first point... she CAN do something about it if she wants to, regardless her level in the company.
ETA: I am in HR as well.
She really can't do anything. What can she do? Complain about him?
If she complains.... that could be something she could lose her job over if she manages to piss him off.
What if the person she complains to is a good friend of her boss. Then her boss says "I want her gone". Then its time to find a new job.
And as we say in HR, document, document, document...
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| Posted 3/31/06 3:29 PM |
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AtomicMom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 632 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
I think if its not affecting his performance or yours, then drop it.
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| Posted 3/31/06 3:38 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Boss situation...need advice
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by PiyoPika566
I disagree with you first point... she CAN do something about it if she wants to, regardless her level in the company.
ETA: I am in HR as well.
She really can't do anything. What can she do? Complain about him?
If she complains.... that could be something she could lose her job over if she manages to piss him off.
What if the person she complains to is a good friend of her boss. Then her boss says "I want her gone". Then its time to find a new job.
Well, I would never complain to another coworker or someone I didn't know about it.
If I were to report it, it would be to the head of HR and there is a no retaliation policy in place, so if I were fired for reporting my concerns I could sue.
I've been with this company for a long time and have the respect of my peers, so I know if I reported this it would be taken seriously and treated confidentially and my job would be in no danger.
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| Posted 3/31/06 3:41 PM |
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