BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

DD is 21 months old and for the last month she has been very mean toward myself, DH and especially our dog. Not only does she hit DH and I when she doesn't like what she's told, but she hits the dog for no reason at all. She even hits him with toys. She gets in trouble (time-outs and the occasional slap on the hand) but she doesn't care. We have even sent her to bed for doing it, to no avail.

I don't understand. DH and I have always been very consistant with dicipline with her. No one in our family hits. She doesn't watch and TV shows that have violence. She also has a very large vocabulary and speaks clearly, so there is no communication frustration.

We try to explain that just because our dog doesn't get mad doesn't mean other dogs will stand for it. I'm scared, really, I am.

How do I stop this?!?!?!

TIA!

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

Bump for the night owls

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

Are there any warning signals that she displays before the hit comes?

ETA: For example.... does she do a frustration growl, or have a frustration face on?

Message edited 9/11/2008 11:47:39 PM.

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

DS is 21 months old- the only thing I could think of is to continue with the time outs- I think if you are consistent with them she will grow out of it.

Also, positive reinforcement for when she doesn't hit- talk to her about it every day and remind her that hitting is not nice and can give boo boos to others. Maybe a bedtime book about feelings? Like maybe they make a children's book about what to do when you feel angry?

Matty doesn't hit but we have problems with eating (he barely eats) and because of this he gets frustrated and throws his plate and food on the floor at almost every meal. So far, I talk to him about it and do time outs- we'll see!

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

I wouldn't get too worried considerng this IS normal toddler behavior, so it isn't an indication that your child has a predisposition to violence.

My one concern would be the tap on the hand though - if you are trying to teach her that hitting is not appropriate under any circumstance, you might be giving her mixed signals by tapping her on the hand in response to her hitting.

When Alex was that age, I just tried to be as consistent as possible. When she hit, I wouldn't say a word, I'd just pick her up and put her in a timeout corner for about 2 minutes. Then I would go back in, explain why she was in timeout (You hit mommy, which is unacceptable because we do not hit in this family), and then give a hug and a kiss and move on. I would also spend a minute or two explaining to her that it is OK to get angry, but that she should use her words and tell me what's wrong, instead of hitting.

Now that she's a little older, if I find timeout isn't working, I now take items away from her. If she hits, she goes to timeout, and she also doesn't get to watch her favorite movie, or doesn't get her favorite popsicle that day.

Message edited 9/12/2008 7:09:54 AM.

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

Posted by casey31

DS is 21 months old- the only thing I could think of is to continue with the time outs- I think if you are consistent with them she will grow out of it.

Also, positive reinforcement for when she doesn't hit- talk to her about it every day and remind her that hitting is not nice and can give boo boos to others. Maybe a bedtime book about feelings? Like maybe they make a children's book about what to do when you feel angry?

Matty doesn't hit but we have problems with eating (he barely eats) and because of this he gets frustrated and throws his plate and food on the floor at almost every meal. So far, I talk to him about it and do time outs- we'll see!

Re: BTDT Moms- Toddler Hitting

Thanks everyone for the help and suggestions. I think I'll get a book also and DH and I will keep sticking to our guns!