BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I am usually the kind of person to decline any and all help.

I can't fathom the thought of anyone "staying" with us when the baby is here to help out, etc. In fact, I hate anyone staying over for any reason.

I didn't have any extra help the first time and it went fine (DH was off about a month, so it was just us 2)

but, now with a new baby and a 3 yr old.......will I change my mind? Or do you think I will be fine?

I also never cooked & froze food ahead of time...or did any of that. I'm not sure if I am a weirdo, but I just play things by ear a lot, I guess.

What do you think?

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

For me,,, i couldn't wait for everyone to leave and just be alone with my LO.

My DH went back to work within a week of me having our DD's and it gave me time with them to bond. Now with 2 under 2, i had offers of help and declined them and am sooo happy that i had that time with my girls to just bond and us all figure out a new schedule.

I think it's a personal choice. Some people need more help, support than others. And others(like myself) are stubborn and would rather do for themselves.

Oh yeah I should mention that you really shouldn't try to be super mom when you get home because you really aren't supposed to be lifting and carrying your older child. I almost wound up back in the hospital because i thought i didnt need help.

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I won't have anyone stay with us - like overnights and stuff. But my mom will be coming over to help out in the beginning, which I am already grateful for.
I know I'll need help with 2 two year olds and a newborn!

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

l play things by ear often too. I didn't ask for help after I came home from the hospital but I did need help watching the kids while I was in the hospital and that required my mom to take off of work each time I had another baby. We never did the frozen meals either. My husband cooked the week he was off and I took over when he went back to work.

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

You'll be fine.

I didn't have anyone stay with me and I didn't freeze any meals. DH went back to work after 2 days. It wasn't that bad.

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I hate ppl staying with me and hate help, I'm very type A...with that being said, with DD being a very very active child I will need help with her and entertaining her for the first few weeks...We had a baby nurse with DD that literally got paid to do nothing, this time around we're probably going to get one and I'll actually use her to help me wiht whatever I need...DH's mom wants to stay for 2 weeks...and my mom wants to stay for a week...so I'll have a good month with ppl, which is soooo unlike me, but DD will need to go to camp and in general be entertained and I know I'll be a bit overwhelemed at first, bc I can barely entertain her now being pregnant

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I didn't have any help besides the 1 week my DH took off. I didn't want anyone here. My Mom & MIL live close enough incase of emergency or nervous breakdown

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I didn't pre-cook & no one stayed.

I had my mom & my sisters drop by to visit. A few times, my mom would surprise me, come cook dinner & leave.

DH went back after a week.

One thing I did do was keep the toddler on the schedule. There was no staying home from daycare because I was on maternity leave.

I had very easy deliveries & terrific recoveries. Everyone heals differently and if they had a difficult toddler I could see wanting help. I was fortunate not to need it.

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I was freaked out when I had Tyler because I knew I couldn't pick up Jack (35lbs) for a minimum of 4 weeks. I couldn't imagine how he would get in/out of his crib, in/out of the carseat.

So, my DH was off for two weeks after the baby was born. Once I got the OK to drive I had some random family help me for an hour here and there.

I def. needed more help - but it was with Jack, not the baby. If I had the baby when Jack was 3 I would have needed less help bc he would have been in a bed already, could climb in and out of the carseat on his own etc.

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

I wouldn't want anyone to stay with me. BUT I would definetely recommend making some food and freezing it. That was a life saver for us!!

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

meh.. I dont plan on "help".

Visitor are fine, but I dont need anyone getting in my way LOL.

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

Since DS#2 was born 8 weeks premature, we needed all the help we could get because I spent the majority of the days & nights at the hospital. Since #1 was only 10.5 months old, I needed him to stay in his routine & not be juggled around.

Fortunately my mom came in the day #2 was born & stayed until he was home with us 2 weeks, so her stay was a total of 10 weeks. Before DS#2 was born premature, I had asked my mom to come stay with us for at least a month so I could get back on my toes since both boys were suppose to be 12 months apart.

Honestly it was the BEST thing we had. We were able to get into a routine with both boys prior to my mom leaving & that way the transition of me being with both alone was not bad at all

Re: BTDT moms..when your 2nd was born?

The first time, my mom stayed with us for about a week. The second time, I didn't think it was necessary at all. I had a handle on it. What helped immensely, though, was when my parents or my sister would pick up my DD and take her out for lunch or to the park or to their house. That seemed to be the most helpful thing.