Bullying on the school bus

I really need some advice and guidance on this issue.

My oldest SS is almost 9 and is being bullied on his school bus. As DH and I were dropping him off last night, he started crying that he doesn't want to go to school and started to explain what was going on. DH and I were both in tears and beyond angry. DH spoke with his ex-wife and she said that she called the school and they couldn't do anything. I don't know if this is true or not. We want to call the school today but we don't know how to go about this. What can they do? Who should we ask to speak with?

My other SS confirmed all of this and told us that he tries to defend his brother but it doesn't matter.

My SS is very timid and really is such an easy target and this breaks my heart that he is dealing with this 2x a day on the school bus. The worst part is this has been going on for almost 2 years (they were all on the same bus last year too)

Re: Bullying on the school bus

The same thing is happening to my nephew and they will not tell my brother what the punishment will be for the bully. (The kid punched my nephew) My brother called the principal and told her to put everyone on notice - bus driver, aids, teachers - that they are to keep this kid away from my nephew. I guess that's all they can do at this point...

Good luck; I know it is heartbreaking.

Re: Bullying on the school bus

The school is required under the law to address bullying if it is based on something like race, sex, religion, disability, etc., whenever it receives notice of such from a child or a parent. I'm not aware of the laws regarding outright bullying that isn't based on something discriminatory, but I'm sure there have to be some federal regulations that exist requiring that school districts respond immediately when put on notice.

If you think your child is being bullied on the basis of something like his disability, race, color, national origin, sex, religion, etc, and the school is failing to respond appropriately, my agency handles these kind of complaints and will get involved.
At the very least, even if it doesn't fall within our jurisdiction, if you call the NY branch of our office and explain the situation, they can probably direct you to some resources that will help.

FM me if you have any questions

ETA - most districts have written policies regarding anti-bullying/harassment. I would go to the school and ask to see a copy of the policy.

Message edited 4/27/2009 1:09:29 PM.

Re: Bullying on the school bus

Does the school contact the bully's parents?

I'm really going to cherish these years when my little ones don't have to go out in the big bad world w/o mommy and daddy to protect them every step of the way.

Re: Bullying on the school bus

Bullying makes me so angry!! And especially when the school does nothing to prevent it from happening once they are informed about it!!!

You need to go to the school and speak with the principal. If the principal does nothing, or tell you heshe can do nothing, write a letter to the superintendent and the Board of Education. Send the letters return reciept requested so they can't ignore them. Go to a Board Meeting and mention it there. Let them know how serious you are and that you are not backing down. Don't stop until you see results!

My friend just went through this with her 1st grader and she got it taken care of after she put up a good fight. (Which district is it? You can FM if you don't want it to be public)

Re: Bullying on the school bus

omg i am sooo sorry he is going through this ~ makes me so mad & sad ~ plus he is going through it for almost 2 years ~ poor thing ~ I am not sure what to do ~ since I am a new mommy ~ but I would call the school or maybe the bus driver (not sure if they can do anything) but I wanted to give you some

Re: Bullying on the school bus

This breaks my heart and it's one of my worst fears when my kids start school. I would take the advice that Beth gave you. Many hugs

Re: Bullying on the school bus

I know you said your DC is shy and timid, and so was I when I was young. My mom told me to go back at the person and put them in their place.

It was a boy that was picking on me. One day I just stood up and said something (I forget what). The kid never picked on me again.

Same thing happened to my sister, a girl and her two friends would tell my sister to get up, that it was their seat on the bus. And she would bc they were bigger than her, and she was scared. My mom told her to one day tell them, "I don't see your name on the seat, find somewhere else to sit." A couple of other kids chimed in telling them to find another seat bc obviously they were sick of being bullied too. These girls never picked on her again.

It takes just that one time sticking up for yourself. I know this is a perfect scenario in a perfect world, but it might just do the trick.

The next step is having the bus driver call a teacher on the bus when it arrives at the school to take care of the situation. There is no reason why the school can't take care of it, they are big into no bullying.

Re: Bullying on the school bus

OMG this makes me so angry No advice on how to solve it but GOD I get so p*zzzed that kids have to put up with this crap, and for 2 years????????? That would make me LOSE it, I don't know if I could restrain myself...

Re: Bullying on the school bus

I have to tell you 2 stories
#1 my DD(she was 7 at the time) was called into the principals office with one of her friends and was given a warning for turning around in their seat on the bus. I was spoken to by the principal about this as well. She was told if it continues, she would get suspended from the bus for a week.

#2 My DD was hit in the mouth by another child with a seatbelt and had her lip split open That childs mother was contacted and was told if it happened again she would be off the bus forever.

So.. Do not let them tell you that there is nothing they can or will do. You need to fight for your SS. They are required to protect your child from any abuse, whether it is physical or verbal!

Re: Bullying on the school bus

Is there a matron on the bus?
I am so sorry your SS is going through this. Those kids should be suspended from the bus!

Re: Bullying on the school bus

Oh, I really hate when things like this happen. I was bullied on the school bus and my mom called the other kid's mother. At first I was mortified but the mother came down very hard on the kid and she never even looked in my direction again. It's a risk, though, as some parents will defend their child and some kids escalate it if parents get involved.

Re: Bullying on the school bus

My son was being picked on while riding the bus this year. He told his teacher (which is surprising since he's usually timid about these things) and they rectified the situation. I think by law the school has to address the complaint. Poor little guy

Re: Bullying on the school bus

Oh Krisitin this makes me so very sad for your SS and just !!! Stay on top of the school, call and speak to the principal (even if his mom claims she has done so) and KEEP COMPLAINING until something gets dones about it! There is no reason a child should be bullied on a school bus without anyone doing anything about it. I am sorry!!!!!

Re: Bullying on the school bus

In the elementary school that I work in, they take such complaints seriously. The principal or asst principal will talk to the kid who is being bullied and then investigate with the other student(s). Sometimes they talk to the bus driver too. Students who bully are definitely punished. I can't believe the school said they can't do anything. I would call principal or AP and let them know.

Re: Bullying on the school bus

Thank you so much for all your advice. For those of you that asked, this is Smithtown S.D. DH and I are going down to the school tomorrow to speak with the Principal or A.P. DH's ex-wife also sent in a letter to the teacher. The problem we have is is that my SS doesn't want to talk about it and when you try to push the topic he starts saying "It's no big deal, Im used to it, Its only once in a while" We are going to see what happens at tomorrows meeting. I would really love if they would call in the parents of these boys. I might actually demand that they do so.

Thanks again!