Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

I VERY RARELY leave the house without Jack - but if I do it's always to run an errand that is close by. Each and every single time I leave (about 5 times now) Jack has a complete meltdown to the point where he is hyperventilating and DH cannot calm him down.

Luckily, each time I have been close enough that I was able to rush home. Tonight, Jack was sleeping and I literally walked down the block for 10mins to drop something off at a friends house. I come back and he had woken up and was screaming like crazy.

I feel bad bc DH feels so bad about this - that he cannot seem to console his son. I am worried bc I am supposed to do dinner with the girls on Thursday night - about 20 mins away from home...and what if he has a meltdown and I can't come.

DH has done everything I would do....I don't know what to do or to tell him.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

I would try baby steps. Leave DS with DH even when you are home. When he cries at home, have DH go get him and console him. Stay by DH while he talks to him.

I do it with DH. I wanted to make sure that DS is comfortable with both of us. AND I don't want to "spoil" him. So sometimes I just talk to him while DH is holding him. Calming him down from a distance. Of course, that does not work everytime.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

That's the thing - I swear - when DH is home with me - he always has Jack. Holds him all the time. It's never ever been an issue when I'm in the house. If I'm here - and Jack starts crying, DH is sometimes the one to calm him down when I can't.

It's a really different kind of scream when I am gone.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Ok....this is going to sound worse than I mean it, but he is just going to have to deal with it on his own.

My DS is really good with kids, when he was a teenager, his dad and step mom had babies and he was used to babies before I was actually.

Tell him to really not call you unless he REALLY needs you. He and Jack have to get into their own routine.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

What about just going outside to look like you are leaving but actually not really leaving the house?

Then come back in when he starts crying. Then try extending the amount of time you stay outside.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

It's not mean at all....it's almost a really scary cry though. Once my tenants actually called him to see if he was ok. I'll call sometimes and all I can hear is Jack screaming on the top of his lungs.

My husband really is sooooooo good with him and goes above and beyond which is why I feel so bad.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

When he was a newborn, no. But now as he gets older, yes.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

So funny- in the beginning, DH was the only one to be able to calm DD down.

On the nights he was at work it was HELL because she would just SCREAM holy hell. I realized soon enough that EVENTUALLY she would calm down. I would just cuddle and try to soothe her until she either passed out or got too hoarse to cry anymore. They can't cry forever- even though they may try....

My advice- go out and enjoy yourself. If DH can handle it, just tell him to ride it out.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by Diana1215

It's not mean at all....it's almost a really scary cry though. Once my tenants actually called him to see if he was ok. I'll call sometimes and all I can hear is Jack screaming on the top of his lungs.

My husband really is sooooooo good with him and goes above and beyond which is why I feel so bad.

Awww, your poor boys

It seems like it is separation anxiety....I know Jack doesn't like the car, but would it help if DH took him for a walk or something so he is distracted?

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Posted by KateDevine

Ok....this is going to sound worse than I mean it, but he is just going to have to deal with it on his own.

My DS is really good with kids, when he was a teenager, his dad and step mom had babies and he was used to babies before I was actually.

Tell him to really not call you unless he REALLY needs you. He and Jack have to get into their own routine.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Posted by sunny

Posted by KateDevine

Ok....this is going to sound worse than I mean it, but he is just going to have to deal with it on his own.

My DS is really good with kids, when he was a teenager, his dad and step mom had babies and he was used to babies before I was actually.

Tell him to really not call you unless he REALLY needs you. He and Jack have to get into their own routine.

I agree totally.
Dd went through a phase where she wanted ONLY me- it was awful (she was tiny, maybe 2 or 2 months old).


Dh just took her one night, let her scream in his arms for about 2 hours but she stopped, and after that he was able to console her.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

That could change with time, I wouldn't be too worried! One DD prefers DH over me at bedtime.

Re: Can DH calm DC when he has a meltdown?

Dh can calm him down ONLY when he is tired. I am having the same issues right now, because its even worse for my mom. Nothing they do makes him calm down if its a meltdown.

It worries me, But I trust DH and usually something will eventually work....and we try it ALL.


If we take Noah outside , the outdoor s usually helps calm him enough that we ca n begin the settling down process.

Or put him under his tiny love mobile.

Its rough. I feel for you, but you have to get out and your DH has to try to find a way.