Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

DH was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer earlier this week, and at this point I need to find some resources to help both of us cope with the emotional aspect of this illness.

We're both going to his doctor next week, and we'll ask her as well, but any suggestiosn from BTDT cancer survivors and their caregivers is welcome.

TIA.

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

no advice but some hugs for you

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

I am so sorry!

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

I'm so sorry. There are resources out there. Hopefully your doctor can steer you in the right direction.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that he can beat it.

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

I don't know any resources off the top of my head, but if you ever need to talk or anything, just drop me a FM. My mom survived a rare, aggressive form of breast canter, my uncle is also a survivor (prostate cancer), and my aunt struggled with breast and bone cancer for 15 years... it takes a lot out of you, and I think you are both wise to address to stress / emotion aspect of cancer as soon as possible.

I wish I could be of more help. I can really only say that many of us know (at least a little bit of) what you're going through, and I'm here to listen if you ever need to talk.

MANY and for you, your DH, and your family.

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

Many, many thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and well wishes. I feel as if we need as many as we can get at the moment.

I will get in touch with you soon Kara, and I saw the Amer. Cancer Society has some links, I just need to make some calls. It also occurred to me that I should tell our pastor, he may know of resources, or he may be able to offer us some spirtual help which would be great also.

It's overwhelming though. Last week he seemed basically healthy, just had some strange platelet counts and white cell counts in his blood tests. Then we found out he had hairy cell leukemia this week. It's a lot to absorb all at once, and I go from okay, to angry, to depressed, to okay again very quickly, as does he.

Thank you all!

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

I helped care for my mother when she was fighting ovarian cancer. I don't know if I can give any advice; every situation is so different. And honestly, hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had done a lot differently.

First and foremost you need to be there for him. Listen with a sympathetic ear when he's in pain or scared. Be there physically for him when he needs you. I did the opposite: I was the "comic relief" of the family; it was my coping mechanism to make jokes and change the subject. But time and time again, my mother told me that that isn't what she needed - she needed sympathy and needed me to hear her out. She needed me to come sit with her when she was scared, not just talk to her on the phone. Now that she's gone, I feel terrible guilt for not giving her what she needed.

So I guess my advice would be to trust him that he knows what he needs from you, and do your best to honor that. I wish him, and you, lots of luck and strength to get through this.

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

I am so sorry
I am currently the caretaker for my mom. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in June. She is going for treatment at MSKCC and I have spoken with the social worker there.
Where is your husband going for treatments?

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

Getting in touch with your pastor is a GREAT idea. I'm sure he can help point you to some resources. The ACS has a lot of resources as well.

I'm so sorry you're going through this - and you are right, it IS a lot to absorb all at once.

Re: Cancer Patient and Caregivers?

One of my friends, who is a social worker, use to work for Cancer Care, running support groups for both patients and care givers. She could never say enough good things about this organization, maybe they can be a resource for you??