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lazybug
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Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
We just got my daughter a cellphone since she’s entering middle school. Before we hand it to her I want to set up some ground rules. I’m just curious what rules do you have for your middle schoolers and their cell phones.
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Posted 9/2/19 5:59 PM  |
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Katareen
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Katherine
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Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
I don’t have a child of that age yet, but my niece has to hand the phone over at 9pm and gets it back in the morning. She also can’t use it at home after school until after her HW/studying is done.
My sister (her mom) doesn’t do it regularly, but has a rule that she can read her texts if she feels anything suspicious is going on.
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| Posted 9/2/19 7:00 PM |
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Naturalmama
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Christine
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Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
My oldest is only 8, but my neighbor has twins in 5th grade, who each just got phones for their birthday. No phones in the bedrooms- they leave them downstairs charging when they go to bed. No social media apps, not allowed to have password protection, and they must be left home when they are going out as a family. She doesn't want them on their phones & texting their friends during family time.
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| Posted 9/2/19 7:57 PM |
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clmj82
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
DD just got a cell phone this summer. It was for when she is away from us only.
It isn't allowed in her room, it has no apps on it.
I allow her to text some of her baseball friends during the day when at home. She knows I have full access to all her texts and read them all.
I have not decided if she will allowed to take it to school yet for emergencies, I feel like there is an office phone there for that reason.
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| Posted 9/2/19 8:31 PM |
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PitterPatter11
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Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
You need to have strict rules with phone usage. Many of the above are good starting points. I’d look into apps that allow you to control her use of the phone.
I teach 9th grade and kids have no self control when it comes to cell phones. Cell phones and social media apps are the leading cause of issues (bullying, distractions, etc) in schools.
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| Posted 9/2/19 9:10 PM |
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hmm
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Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
IMO, I know you asked for suggestions for rules, IMO middle school is too young. I see this as an issue weekly at my job. Better off not having a phone, the nurses office, front office, Social worker all have phones your children can use if they need to
Message edited 9/2/2019 10:30:55 PM.
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| Posted 9/2/19 10:25 PM |
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NervousNell
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by PitterPatter11
You need to have strict rules with phone usage. Many of the above are good starting points. I’d look into apps that allow you to control her use of the phone.
I teach 9th grade and kids have no self control when it comes to cell phones. Cell phones and social media apps are the leading cause of issues (bullying, distractions, etc) in schools.
Imo phones shouldn't be allowed in schools at all. Period. For the very reason you said. It's way too distracting in school and leads to nothing but problems. And in terms of needing to reach your parents, what the hell did we do when we were in school? Oh yeah, we had the nurse, the front office etc to reach our parents if need be in an emergency. And we all lived.
I am really surprised schools haven't implemented stricter rules about this to be honest.
Message edited 9/2/2019 11:23:52 PM.
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| Posted 9/2/19 11:22 PM |
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Sash
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Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by PitterPatter11
You need to have strict rules with phone usage. Many of the above are good starting points. I’d look into apps that allow you to control her use of the phone.
I teach 9th grade and kids have no self control when it comes to cell phones. Cell phones and social media apps are the leading cause of issues (bullying, distractions, etc) in schools.
Imo phones shouldn't be allowed in schools at all. Period. For the very reason you said. It's way too distracting in school and leads to nothing but problems. And in terms of needing to reach your parents, what the hell did we do when we were in school? Oh yeah, we had the nurse, the front office etc to reach our parents if need be in an emergency. And we all lived.
I am really surprised schools haven't implemented stricter rules about this to be honest.
I hate to use this phrase but I know with me, times are different or perhaps I’m definitely raising my son differently than when I was younger. My son is entering 6th grade and gets picked up and dropped off. At that age I was walking home about a 1/2 mile maybe a little over from school. He can barely cross street  I had been walking home by myself since like 2nd grade.
I realized now that he is in 6th grade he should have the phone for two reasons, major one is so we can communicate with him after school, 2nd so he knows how to use one. I’m in tech and these are one of the skills that serve useful and I feel like I’m putting him at a disadvantage.
Now the reason we need to communicate with him is because mine and my DH schedule can change in an instant. So there has been a lot of days where we said we would pick him up at 3 and couldn’t, he ended up in aftercare or we were able to pick him up and we played find the child because he was in transition to after care. Calling the front office isn’t always effective as the message doesn’t reach him in time. It’s also a waste of time for the staff that is busy. We did it last year and it hardly ever worked.
So I decided since he will be 11, let’s try a prepaid phone over the summer to test his responsibility. It’s been 3 weeks and he is failing miserably, currently got his phone taken away for the 3rd time. Also his school has a policy where they take their phones in the morning and give it to them at the end of the day. If we give his phone back, I plan on confirming with his homeroom teacher. If she doesn’t enforce that policy then the phone will be a moot point during school days. My son does not need another distraction.
OP: my current strict rules are as follows:
*dont answer my calls or reply to my text - phone is taken away
*i can check the phone for whatever I want whenever I want
*one call or email about you and your phone during class time and I will take it away or throw it in the garbage
*using it inappropriately and not being secure I will throw it in the garbage.
Basically I made it clear this is probationary and I do not have time to police and monitor a device 24/7 on top of my full time job and policing him at school. Mind you my son is a kid that requires constant monitoring during the school year or else he will go rogue with schoolwork.
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| Posted 9/3/19 2:11 AM |
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ali120206
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by hmm
IMO, I know you asked for suggestions for rules, IMO middle school is too young. I see this as an issue weekly at my job. Better off not having a phone, the nurses office, front office, Social worker all have phones your children can use if they need to
In our schools - they don't let kids make personal calls.
I don't think middle school is too young for a phone (for calling purposes) that's the time where many kids start being left home alone or venturing out with friends so it's great for parents to keep in touch with them. But, it's also a responsibility and a right.
You just need to have strict social media controls in place and the ability to access said phone.
I have friends who give their kids phones but, they are to leave them at home during the school day - they use them to call their parents when they arrive at home.
Message edited 9/3/2019 10:00:35 AM.
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| Posted 9/3/19 9:58 AM |
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lazybug
LIF Adult
Member since 3/12 1013 total posts
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Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Thanks for the suggestions. I find cellphones necessary at this age. I know many don’t agree, but I it works for my family. As of now I won’t allow her to have any social media. There’s no need for it however she can text friends. I’m just trying to figure out how much time parents let their kids use it during the week and weekends for gaming, YouTube, etc. My husband and I must have the password/ thumb print access. As a pp suggested, I’ll have her charge it in the kitchen and it can’t go in her bedroom at night. If anyone has any other suggestions it’s greatly appreciated.
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| Posted 9/3/19 4:02 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
My daughter got a phone in 6th grade (so last year). I gave her one of my old phones, and it's like $30 a month. It's password protected so she cannot download any apps. No social media allowed, period. I read all texts. If I think she's on it too much, I take it away for weeks at a time, and honestly, she really doesn't seem to care.
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| Posted 9/3/19 4:31 PM |
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Sash
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by lazybug
Thanks for the suggestions. I find cellphones necessary at this age. I know many don’t agree, but I it works for my family. As of now I won’t allow her to have any social media. There’s no need for it however she can text friends. I’m just trying to figure out how much time parents let their kids use it during the week and weekends for gaming, YouTube, etc. My husband and I must have the password/ thumb print access. As a pp suggested, I’ll have her charge it in the kitchen and it can’t go in her bedroom at night. If anyone has any other suggestions it’s greatly appreciated.
I think you have all the right rules in place. I would give maybe an hour during school days after everything that needs to be done is done. YouTube and games, I would treat the same as how you monitor it via iPads, video games and/or tv.
It also depends on the maturity of your child. My son is less mature, so I would put more restriction on him then I would for a child that is like my niece. You know your daughter, I say start with what you have and loosen or tighten the reigns as needed. Good luck.
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| Posted 9/3/19 6:48 PM |
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LSP2005
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Member since 5/05 19457 total posts
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L
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
My son is starting 7th. He got a phone last year for 6th grade. He is on a bus for a while and many times I need to pick him up from after school. You cannot use the phone during school hours. We limit his time on it, and he knows all texts, and emails send us a copy. Last year it had a 9 pm limit, but with scouts and overnights we ended up taking the limit off because he proved responsible with his phone use.
For all of the people here who don't have kids or are in school settings but not parents, times are different. There is no pay phone at school to use. If you are late they have minimal staff and not at the nurses office or front desk. Rooms are locked. It is not as easy as you make it out to be to just use another phone. Frankly, last year there was a terrible snow storm and he was delayed 4 hours. I was thrilled he had a phone to call me. He knows it is for emergencies and he takes his responsibility seriously. My kids do not have social media.
Message edited 9/3/2019 7:51:21 PM.
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| Posted 9/3/19 7:50 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by LSP2005
For all of the people here who don't have kids or are in school settings but not parents, times are different. There is no pay phone at school to use. If you are late they have minimal staff and not at the nurses office or front desk. Rooms are locked. It is not as easy as you make it out to be to just use another phone. Frankly, last year there was a terrible snow storm and he was delayed 4 hours. I was thrilled he had a phone to call me. He knows it is for emergencies and he takes his responsibility seriously. My kids do not have social media.
Yes exactly! I’m surprised at the comments about nurses office and front desk. I thought maybe my sons school was set up differently, but, I can’t imagine the front office with 2 people during pick up having time to deal with a bunch of kids having to call their parents or deliver messages to the homeroom teacher. End of day is so hectic.
Also I’m confused about the nurse as an answer? If my son is sick he has to go to the nurses office and they will call me regardless of cell phone, but that isn’t a resource to deliver messages. I’m just confused as to why posters are commenting about the nurses office?
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| Posted 9/3/19 11:31 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7618 total posts
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Momma <3
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by LSP2005
For all of the people here who don't have kids or are in school settings but not parents, times are different. There is no pay phone at school to use. If you are late they have minimal staff and not at the nurses office or front desk. Rooms are locked. It is not as easy as you make it out to be to just use another phone. Frankly, last year there was a terrible snow storm and he was delayed 4 hours. I was thrilled he had a phone to call me. He knows it is for emergencies and he takes his responsibility seriously. My kids do not have social media.
I teach at the HS level. All classrooms are equipped to make outgoing calls. I let students use my classroom phone to call parents if they do not have a cell phone. I have many students who have cell phones, but are not allowed to bring them to school. If a student is staying after with a teacher for clubs, sports, extra help, they should be able to access to a landline.
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| Posted 9/4/19 7:38 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Maybe I'm confused then. What are they calling their parents about during the day?
If there is a snow storm, an early dismissal etc, we get a robo call from the school.
If there is an issue where kids need to be picked up early or late, we get a robo call from the school.
If my daughter is sick, the nurse calls me.
If there is an issue that she needed me for, the front office would call me.
How do they handle the kids who don't have cell phones- like the younger grades? I thought the schools communicated dismissal issues etc.
My daughter started 4th grade today and she obviously has not had a phone all these years and it has never been a problem.
Maybe I'm just missing something though.
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| Posted 9/4/19 9:48 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by Sash
Also I’m confused about the nurse as an answer? If my son is sick he has to go to the nurses office and they will call me regardless of cell phone, but that isn’t a resource to deliver messages. I’m just confused as to why posters are commenting about the nurses office?
I brought up the nurses office because I figured if there was an emergency- as in sick or injured- the nurse would be calling the parents to say they needed to come pick the kid up.
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| Posted 9/4/19 9:49 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19457 total posts
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L
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by LSP2005
For all of the people here who don't have kids or are in school settings but not parents, times are different. There is no pay phone at school to use. If you are late they have minimal staff and not at the nurses office or front desk. Rooms are locked. It is not as easy as you make it out to be to just use another phone. Frankly, last year there was a terrible snow storm and he was delayed 4 hours. I was thrilled he had a phone to call me. He knows it is for emergencies and he takes his responsibility seriously. My kids do not have social media.
I teach at the HS level. All classrooms are equipped to make outgoing calls. I let students use my classroom phone to call parents if they do not have a cell phone. I have many students who have cell phones, but are not allowed to bring them to school. If a student is staying after with a teacher for clubs, sports, extra help, they should be able to access to a landline.
In our district the teacher phones are not set up for outgoing calls. They only call the front desk. It was something that was specifically covered in new parent and child orientation. So what may work for you do not work for all schools, all districts, and all kids.
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| Posted 9/4/19 9:51 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19457 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
In middle school, there are after school clubs and activities. There is no bus for those activities. Since kids go from class to class, you night need to stay late to review a question with a teacher. Then you miss the bus. So a parent will need to pick up for those reasons. Yes we get robots calls from the school. But middle school is completely different from elementary school. Our district has multiple elementary schools that come together to form a middle school with nearly 5000 kids. There is no way each kid could just use the front desk or nurses office to make a call. It would be impossible.
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| Posted 9/4/19 9:54 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by LSP2005
In middle school, there are after school clubs and activities. There is no bus for those activities. Since kids go from class to class, you night need to stay late to review a question with a teacher. Then you miss the bus. So a parent will need to pick up for those reasons. Yes we get robots calls from the school. But middle school is completely different from elementary school. Our district has multiple elementary schools that come together to form a middle school with nearly 5000 kids. There is no way each kid could just use the front desk or nurses office to make a call. It would be impossible.
Got it. I was thinking in elementary school.
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| Posted 9/4/19 9:57 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7618 total posts
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Momma <3
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by NervousNell
Maybe I'm confused then. What are they calling their parents about during the day?
If there is a snow storm, an early dismissal etc, we get a robo call from the school.
If there is an issue where kids need to be picked up early or late, we get a robo call from the school.
If my daughter is sick, the nurse calls me.
If there is an issue that she needed me for, the front office would call me.
How do they handle the kids who don't have cell phones- like the younger grades? I thought the schools communicated dismissal issues etc.
My daughter started 4th grade today and she obviously has not had a phone all these years and it has never been a problem.
Maybe I'm just missing something though.
It must just depend on the district. I have worked in 4 districts at the HS level and in each building - 1000-5000 students - students have been able to use the landlines at school. I have worked in rural, suburban, and urban settings.
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| Posted 9/4/19 10:11 AM |
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ali120206
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Member since 7/06 17790 total posts
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LSP2005
In middle school, there are after school clubs and activities. There is no bus for those activities. Since kids go from class to class, you night need to stay late to review a question with a teacher. Then you miss the bus. So a parent will need to pick up for those reasons. Yes we get robots calls from the school. But middle school is completely different from elementary school. Our district has multiple elementary schools that come together to form a middle school with nearly 5000 kids. There is no way each kid could just use the front desk or nurses office to make a call. It would be impossible.
Got it. I was thinking in elementary school.
Elementary school is definitely too young but, kids seem to have them anyway 
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| Posted 9/4/19 10:11 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by ali120206
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LSP2005
In middle school, there are after school clubs and activities. There is no bus for those activities. Since kids go from class to class, you night need to stay late to review a question with a teacher. Then you miss the bus. So a parent will need to pick up for those reasons. Yes we get robots calls from the school. But middle school is completely different from elementary school. Our district has multiple elementary schools that come together to form a middle school with nearly 5000 kids. There is no way each kid could just use the front desk or nurses office to make a call. It would be impossible.
Got it. I was thinking in elementary school.
Elementary school is definitely too young but, kids seem to have them anyway
Soon 3 years old will have cell phones because- it's a necessity you know! 
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| Posted 9/4/19 10:14 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Also I’m confused about the nurse as an answer? If my son is sick he has to go to the nurses office and they will call me regardless of cell phone, but that isn’t a resource to deliver messages. I’m just confused as to why posters are commenting about the nurses office?
I brought up the nurses office because I figured if there was an emergency- as in sick or injured- the nurse would be calling the parents to say they needed to come pick the kid up.
Ah ok. We are referring to emergency or communication after school or during dismissal. Last year my son started switching classes in 5th grade. Messages I would send about picking him up instead of going to after care rarely got to him in time. I would have to wait an extra 20-30 minutes to find him as he transition to after care etc. There are landlines available but I think it is impossible to expect the office to handle that number of volume for kids to call their parents during dismissal or relay messages in times.
Now if he is sick, even though he has a cell phone, I would still get a call from the Nurse. I will not be directly from his phone since he wont have his phone.
Also younger kids is entirely different than when they start approaching JHS and on.
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| Posted 9/4/19 10:24 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Cell phone rules for a sixth grader
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by ali120206
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LSP2005
In middle school, there are after school clubs and activities. There is no bus for those activities. Since kids go from class to class, you night need to stay late to review a question with a teacher. Then you miss the bus. So a parent will need to pick up for those reasons. Yes we get robots calls from the school. But middle school is completely different from elementary school. Our district has multiple elementary schools that come together to form a middle school with nearly 5000 kids. There is no way each kid could just use the front desk or nurses office to make a call. It would be impossible.
Got it. I was thinking in elementary school.
Elementary school is definitely too young but, kids seem to have them anyway
Soon 3 years old will have cell phones because- it's a necessity you know!
Pls Girl, it's already a thing. My cousins daughter has had her own phone since 2yrs old. Don't even get me started. I've seen it alot more than you think too.
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| Posted 9/4/19 10:25 AM |
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