Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot AZZ kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting p*ssed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.

TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."


A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

I'm not one to point out type-os, but I think you meant:

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Max Power.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Max Power.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Max Power, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Max Power.

When Max Power was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Max Power drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck’s quack does not echo. Max Power is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Max Power’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Max Power has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Max Power.

Ironically, Max Power’ hidden talent is invisibility.

Max Power eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Max Power owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

Max Power invented water.

Contrary to popular belief, Max Power, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Max Power is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Max Power does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Crop circles are Max Power' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Max Power out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Max Power, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

CNN was originally created as the "Max Power Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot AZZ kicking in real-time.

Max Power can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Max Power allows to live.

Someone once videotaped Max Power getting p*ssed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

If you spell Max Power in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Max Power played in second grade.

Max Power once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Max Power re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Max Power is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Max Power.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Max Power's warm-up exercises.

Max Power is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Max Power.

Max Power discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Max Power is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Max Power roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Max Power could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Max Power once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Max Power Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.

TNT was originally developed by Max Power to cure indigestion.

Max Power will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Only Max Power can prevent forest fires.

In the movie "The Matrix", Max Power is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

Max Power crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

One time, at band camp, Max Power ate a percussionist.

Max Power doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

Max Power once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Max Power.

Max Power doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Max Power kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

Max Power knows the last digit of pi.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

When Max Power wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Max Power plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Max Power created God by snapping his fingers.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Max Power and three seven year old girls. Max Power won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

Max Power is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

Mr. T pities the fool. Max Power rips the fool's head off.

They were going to release a Max Power edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Max Power. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."


A man once taunted Max Power with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Max Power proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Max Power was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Max Power does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Max Power.

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

MAX POWER Max Power RULES!!

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

Max Power is me hero.

and a confirmed super hero at that.

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

I'm trying to start an internet rivalry between Max Power and Chuck Norris.
Chuck has had his day. And David Hasselhoff is too easy a target. Max Power eats chumps like DH for breakfast.

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

I know she really meant DH=David Hasselhoff.

but thinking she was saying herson will eat her chump dh for breakfast is way funnier

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Preguntas

I'm trying to start an internet rivalry between Max Power and Chuck Norris.
Chuck has had his day. And David Hasselhoff is too easy a target. Max Power eats chumps like DH for breakfast.

poor Victor. Max already stealing the stoplight from daddy

Re: Chuck Norris b/c ya gotta love the guy!