CIO question.....

Ok, so next week DH is going away for the weekend, and thought this might be the time to try it.
Matthew iw going to be 6 months and still wakes up in the middle of the night (*just once ) for a bottle. He downs it so wuickly and goes back to sleep, so Im still on the fence of what to do.
Many people told me to just feed him and he will outgrow it and some say let him CIO. He is just waking up out of habit.
So, my concern is waking up his brother.
But....my question is if I let him CIO, and he goes back to bed on his own and then wakes up again, what do I do? Do I let him CIO again??

Just trying to get prepared

Re: CIO question.....

Have you tried just giving him the paci? Does he drink the full bottle? If not, could you just feed him an ounce or two while he's still in the crib and let him doze back off?

Re: CIO question.....

Supposedly in ever average sleep cycle, there are at least 2 periods where the baby will wake up over night. Personally, I would try to let him CIO and if it becomes unbearble than attend to him. I do think that he's waking up out of habit for th bottle and maybe if you give him the pacifier or turn on the mobile/music, he'll get back to sleep.

Good luck, Diane!! You're doing a great job

Re: CIO question.....

He doesnt really like the pacifier, he will chew on the handle.
I have slowly decreased the amount of formula in the bottle, and when he wakes up and I get the bottle, he grabs it like it is his last meal

I just want to know if he does go down the first time after letting him cry and then he wakes up againg in a few hours do I let him cry again??

Re: CIO question.....

I think you would have to to be consistent, as hard and incredibly difficult as that would be if he woke up again. Have you tried putting only water in the bottle? That worked w/Ryan a couple of times. Then he just stopped waking *knocking on wood* Good luck!!

Re: CIO question.....

Yes...if he wakes up in a few hours, I would let him cry again.

I did this with DD for 2 nights...and it was over...no more waking for that 1AM bottle. She will sleep from about 7PM til 5AM. At around 5ish...she will get a bottle...and then go back to sleep until 7:30-8:00 am. I haven't taken away the 5AM bottle because I figure she has been asleep for 10 hours...she's probably hungry.

So, maybe I shouldn't be giving out advice

Re: CIO question.....

That's what I did. I honestly don't think at 6 months he needs a bottle anymore in the middle of the night but is doing it to get it.

The only other advice i can give you is to maybe move his crib into another room so he does not wake the other guy up. My boys don't wake up when the other is crying so it was never an issue for me.

Good luck....it's hard at first but you should see results pretty fast.

Re: CIO question.....

Re: CIO question.....

I know you are set on CIO, but i have done something else that limits the crying and gets them to go back to sleep.

DD is finally off her waking up 3 times a night thing, and i couldn't do CIO, she was too strong willed for it and did so much better being able to see me and going to sleep. She only really cried the first couple times i did for 10 mins out of the 40 it took for her to go sleep and that cry was whiny, not hard core tears, screaming from her crib wondering why mommy left her alone and isn't responding to her cries.

Now after about almost a week of this, I don't even pick DD up more than 2-3 times and if she wakes in the middle of the night we put lay her down and she goes back to sleep within seconds.

This might work and may not wake the other sleeping one, but will give the little guy the hint that it's time to sleep and not time to eat.

I used fromt eh baby whisperer the pick up/put down method.
Here's from teh website
"Now we’ll look at the basics of pu/pd and how it should be adapted according to the age of your baby. These are general guidelines and you should remember to listen to and follow your own child.

“When a child cries, you go into his room. You first try to comfort him with words and a gentle hand on his back. Up to 6 months, you can also do shush-pat; in older babies, the shush pat-especially the sound can actually disrupt sleep, so we just lay a hand on the child’s back instead to make our presence felt. If he doesn’t stop crying, then pick him up. But put him down the minute he stops crying and not a second later. Make sure you put him down compleatly, even if he cries as you lower him, when he is down if he continues to cry then pick him up again and repeat. You are comforting him, not trying to put him back to sleep. –that’s for him to do on his own. If he cries and arches his back (is really fighting you), though you put him down immediately. Never fight a crying child. But maintain contact by placing a firm hand on his back so that he knows you are there. Stay with him. Intervene with words as well “It’s just sleep time, darling. You’re only going to sleep”. (Taken from Baby Whisperer Solves all you Problems page 222) The tricky part is knowing when to lay him back down. If he is held to long or not long enough then it is harder for PU/PD to work. If you get to a point where you can't take it anymore and you LO just wont stop crying, then by all means leave the room for a few minutes and regain your bareings. While CIO and CC are discuraged, you wont do yourself or your LO any good if your an emotional mess. Just step out and calm yourself then try again.

To sum it up the basic procedure when you child cries is;

· Place your hand on their back or chest and say your key phrase in a low tone, eg. ‘it’s only sleep’ or ‘it’s sleepy time’. You always try in the crib first as this is the ultimate goal.
· If this doesn’t work you pick them up, say the phrase and as soon as they calm you put them down. If they start to cry on the way down, you still put them down.
· If they are still crying you pick them up again.
· If the child is truly fighting you, arching etc you don’t hold at all, you put them right down after you say the phrase and then pick them up again.
· You do this over and over until you see signs your baby is settling. Typically their cries will become weaker; they may look for their hands etc. They may also begin to mantra cry, you do not pick up on a mantra cry as they are attempting to settle themselves.
· When you see this settling behaviour you don’t pick them up anymore. Leave them in the crib, place your hand on them and say your phrase. Now you let go, stand back and see what happens.
· If they start up again, you start the whole process over beginning with attempting to soothe in the crib.

It is very important to adjust the basic procedure according to your baby’s age, as follows;

4 MONTHS OLD - you would follow the procedure above with the following adaptations;

· If they are swaddled and it become loose, you need to re swaddle.
· You only hold them a maximum of 5 minutes. If they don’t settle in 5 minutes you put them down and pick up again if they are still upset.
· In between each pu/pd you attempt to soothe with shush/pat in the crib.
· If the shush-pat doesn’t work you pick them up again, continuing to shush/pat in your arms if you wish.
· So, put them down the second they stop crying, start to settle or a maximum of 5 minutes.

4-6 MONTHS OLD - The process changes slightly when your baby is starting to get more mobile and has more strength. They will typically start to fight you when being held and they may throw their head back and/or arch their back, so the following adaptations are made;

· If the baby is burrowing their head into the mattress, turning their head side to side, getting up on their knees or flopping side to side you don’t pick them up right away or you will get kicked or your hair pulled. Instead you continue to talk and soothe in a low tone voice.
· When you do pick your baby up you only hold for a maximum of two or three minutes then put them all the way down even if still crying. You then pick up again and follow the same routine.
· At 4-6 months a baby tends to put up quite a physical struggle and the biggest mistake made is holding too long. Watch your baby’s cues, burrowing into your shoulder or arching their back is a sign they want to go back down EVEN if they are still crying. Holding them too long will reinforce “I cry I get picked up”. You can label what you are doing eg. “Let me pick you up”. “Let me put you down”.

6-8 MONTHS OLD - Pu/pd becomes more of a partnership at this age and it is key that you follow your baby’s pace and make the following adaptations to the basic procedure;

· You don’t pick them up as a matter of course but you offer them pick up. You hold your hands to your baby and say “let me pick you up” and you pick them up when they reach to you.
· You pick them up in a cradle position and say “It’s okay, we’re just going to sleep.”. Don’t rock or sway and don’t make eye contact.
· Put them down immediately after you say your key phrase.
· Once your baby starts to soothe you continue to soothe with words and a hand for presence if this helps your baby. Some babies may find this too disruptive so you take your baby’s lead.
5) What can I expect from the pu/pd process?

You can expect crying and resistance, especially if you’ve previously employed a prop for sleep. “Pu/pd doesn’t prevent crying but it does prevent fear of abandonment, because you stay with the child and comfort him through his tears”. Through your actions you’re saying to your child “its ok, I love you, you can do this, you are ok, it’s ok to be upset, you can do it”, and you should actually say this when soothing your baby during pu/pd as it will also help you to stay calm and to keep perspective.

Your baby will generally go through a series of “peaks” and come down over and over. Eventually they will lose steam and settle. This can take minutes or hours and it’s been known for some babies to take 3 hours to settle with their first pu/pd session, though this is the extreme. The number of pick ups generally gets less every time until you’re down to none and it may help to actually count them so you can chart your progress. In most cases the parents see an improvement over the course of a few days but then the baby regresses around day 5 or so. Typically the baby fights sleep even worse than they did before but if you stick with pu/pd your baby will pop right back. Consistency is the key.

Eventually, after all your hard work, your kind words and touch will put your baby to sleep. This method DOES work if you do it correctly, stick to it and ride it out. Unfortunitly there is no quick fix, and this is a lot of work, but it is well worth it in the end. You may want to invest in earplugs to help deafen the cries. You also should consider having support and start pu/pd on a weekend so your husband or a friend can be around to keep you calm. Expect to feel upset and frustrated. Expect to want to give in and go back to your “old” way, your prop… DON’T DO IT"

Prop=Bottle

Baby Whisperer

Message edited 3/15/2007 9:50:09 AM.

Re: CIO question.....

thanks Michele, I will try that route first

Re: CIO question.....

we are unswaddling them both tonight and are going to let them CIO.

I'm scared!!!

Re: CIO question.....

Miranda still woke for a feeding at 6 months. I think it was somewhere close to 7 that she grew out of it and slept through the night on her own.
It's a tough call with having twins because I can't imagine letting him CIO won't wake his brother.
If you do let him CIO I head consistency is key so if he went back to sleep and woke again you would have to let him CIO again.