CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

My 22 month old DS has been going to daycare at the same place since he was around 14 months old. We've never had a problem there - in fact, I love it there and so does DS. The staff there has always been phenominal.

On Tuesday when I picked DS up the co-teacher (who watches the kids by herself from 3 - 5:30pm after the main teacher leaves) handed me his gram. In the comments section it noted that DS got a small scratch on his forehead and near his elbow during the day. He did in fact have the scratch on his head, but his elbow wasnt scratched, it was bruised. It looked like 3 little round bruises (almost like finger marks).

I didnt say anything at the time but the next morning when DS woke up I looked at it and the bruises were HUGE and such a deep color. Much worse than the day before. At this point I was concerned and when I dropped DS off at daycare I asked the same co-teacher how he got the bruises. She basically turned it around on ME. She said "we noticed he had those bruises when he came in yesterday. He didnt get them here". It was like she was implying that I gave him the bruises First of all, I have never laid a hand on my son, but moreso, I KNOW they happened at daycare. This morning I spoke directly with his main teacher. She said she didnt know how or where he got the bruises and just that she noticed them on Wednesday and that they had gotten worse throughout the day. No help there.

Well, I had taken a picture of the bruises on Wednesday night and I sent them to my ExH. He called me today and said they absolutely look like finger marks and that it looks terrible (which it does). His whole forearm is bruised and its dark purple/brown. He said he wants to get the police involved and have an investigation done with the daycare to find out how it happened and who did it. Part of me agrees, but part of me feels like maybe we're blowing this out of proportion I dont want to stir sh!t if you know what I mean. But I also didnt like the fact that the co-teacher kind of pointed her finger back at me. I'm torn here...I really dont know what the right thing to do is, especially since we've never had an issue with this daycare before. ExH already went to the police so I guess the ball is rolling...do you think we did the right thing?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

I think you're taking this a little too far. What do you thinks going to happen?

that they are going to arrest another 22 month old for hurting your child? (were the fingermarks one of a child or an adult? you have a bf too, right? did you ask him maybe? can you account for all children and adults your child has been in contact with?)

your child may or may not have gotten it at daycare but going to the police and initiating a huge investigation over something like this (which sounds like the first time it has happened) imo is a bit extreme...

Kids are kids and they are going to get hurt in YOUR care and in the hands of others.. while there are some extreme circumstances from time to time (ie. some others here with extreme cases of biting and hitting, etc.), I would just leave it be and just pay more attention just in case (and I hope it doesn't) happen again..

Message edited 6/24/2011 12:20:06 PM.

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Message edited 6/24/2011 12:26:50 PM.

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Wow, thats a bit extreme! It sucks that he has some odd bruises, but my kids are ALWAYS covered in bruises, both from school daycare etc. Honestly, kids get bruised all the time. All the time. If you aren't happy with the daycare, find another one. But imo little kids just get bruised all the time, and you just have to chalk it up to kids being kids....good luck!

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

I wouldn't have called the police over bruises but I don't like the daycare's response.

I would have gone for the director.

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Thanks ladies. I talked to my mom and my BF about it as well and we all agreed that the director should be spoken to but that the police was a bit extreme. The problem is, my ExH sort of made the decision and he's already gone to the police.

He took DS to the doctor this afternoon to document the bruise and she did confirm that it looked like finger marks from an adult hand.

I tried calling him to talk to him and let him know I'm not comofrtable with the lengths he's going to deal with this and that I think we should start with the Director, but he blew me off and said "if you want to go to the director then go talk to her, but I'm still talking to the police" I don't want to burn bridges with this daycare especially since DS loves it so much. I'm almost contemplating telling them that I have nothing to do with this investigation. I really don't want it to affect how they treat DS

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

WOW, I guess I'm the oddball, but if my child ended up with bruises that look like adult size fingers, I would be pulling him out of there ASAP! You would have to grab a child pretty damn hard to bruise them!

Do they have cameras in the classrooms?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

I think at this point you should say something to the director before she receives a random call from the police.

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by BargainMama

WOW, I guess I'm the oddball, but if my child ended up with bruises that look like adult size fingers, I would be pulling him out of there ASAP! You would have to grab a child pretty damn hard to bruise them!

Do they have cameras in the classrooms?

They do have cameras in the classrooms and I would really like to see the footage from that day...

I do agree though...I know a lot of the other moms on here have been saying that their kids get bumps and bruises all the time, but if a kid gets bruises like these he would have cried - I mean, they're BAD. Yet these teachers are telling me they "have no idea how he got them" How could you not know? It just seems fishy to me...

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Posted by neener1211

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by BargainMama

WOW, I guess I'm the oddball, but if my child ended up with bruises that look like adult size fingers, I would be pulling him out of there ASAP! You would have to grab a child pretty damn hard to bruise them!

Do they have cameras in the classrooms?

They do have cameras in the classrooms and I would really like to see the footage from that day...

I do agree though...I know a lot of the other moms on here have been saying that their kids get bumps and bruises all the time, but if a kid gets bruises like these he would have cried - I mean, they're BAD. Yet these teachers are telling me they "have no idea how he got them" How could you not know? It just seems fishy to me...

Demand to see that video!!!

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

I think you'll have to tell the director and be prepared for you to be investigated as well- especially since the co-teacher claimed he came in with them.

Does DS seem upset when you leave him? Has he said anything about being hurt at daycare?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Can you "pop in" unannounced and observe without the teacher knowing. we used to have a window so the parents can see if there is a problem and they need to see for themselves. I worked at a dc for 4 yrs and this sounds strange.

....

Message edited 3/4/2013 12:57:27 PM.

....

Message edited 3/4/2013 12:57:39 PM.

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Thanks for everyone's responses - it's really putting this in perspective for me

We can pop in unannounced and look at the tv's or even go right to the classroom. I have done this before during the day, but usually when I do it's the main teacher with him. I've only ever observed her being absolutely fantastic with him. He has trouble napping and she even rubs his back to help him fall asleep I mean, I truly have never had anything but RAVES about this center and the staff.

This particular co-teacher would be the only one I would suspect...mainly due to her response to my inquiry AND ds constantly saying "no miss xxxx" when we go to daycare. She's only there in the late afternoons, so I will have to find the time to pop in and watch her. I personally believe this could have been an accident on a teacher's part. Unfortunately, ExH already involved the police, who stopped in to talk to the director and teachers today. Ugh...its almost embarrassing...I really wish my Ex would have listened to me and held off. I dont want daycare to think that I'm accussing them of hurting my son. Is it possible? Yes, definately. But I dont have enough proof to go pointing fingers even though it SEEMS as if it was someone from the center. Such an uncomfortable situation

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Posted by dita

Is there a director you can speak to? Maybe they can put your mind at ease?
DS is 20 months and is always covered in cuts/bruises.
DS had bruises on his spine once and I inquired with the director because there was no incident report. No one really knows what happened but at that age it could be anything. DS doesn't even cry when he falls down.
At 6 months old I would be concerned, but I wouldn't worry too much at 22 months.

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Bruises from falling or banging it to something are completely different from bruises cause by a forceful hand. IMO, you did the right thing and are not ignoring what your gut is telling you. I hope you can resolve this

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by BargainMama

WOW, I guess I'm the oddball, but if my child ended up with bruises that look like adult size fingers, I would be pulling him out of there ASAP! You would have to grab a child pretty damn hard to bruise them!

Do they have cameras in the classrooms?

They do have cameras in the classrooms and I would really like to see the footage from that day...

I do agree though...I know a lot of the other moms on here have been saying that their kids get bumps and bruises all the time, but if a kid gets bruises like these he would have cried - I mean, they're BAD. Yet these teachers are telling me they "have no idea how he got them" How could you not know? It just seems fishy to me...