Cute Forward...NY-living related. "If The Shoes Fit"

If the shoes fit:

Living in New York City, it takes very little time to come to some very important realizations:

You need new shoes . Lots of new shoes. Stepping down 5th Avenue to whichever lunchtime errand destination, it will occur to you that your almost-new Steve Madden sling-backs are already horribly passé. So, you must replace them. With three other pair. And you must not keep the receipts.

You drink too much . Even if you don't really, you must because how on earth did you spend $75 in Brooklyn on a Friday night?

You're not so concerned with modesty as you used to be. Missing shades on the kitchen window? Not such a big deal. Who cares that your balding, gawking neighbor sees you wandering to the bathroom in nothing but thong underwear. It's probably good for his heart, and it's not like you'll ever meet him.

You spend too much money . While completely out of line with realization number one, savings can be scrimped from other areas such as… groceries. Which leads us to the next realization.

You are too fat. Even if you're not, you simply are. You will have nightmares about double chins. You will constantly think your ankles are too thick. Why? Because you're comparing yourself to a whole new brand of female now. The fur coat wearin', finely coiffed New York City Socialite *****. She's everywhere and she lives for no other reason than to make you feel ugly. (I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE....)

You need coffee. Need. It's now one of the ingredients in your blood. Oxygen, Hemoglobin, Colombian Supremo...

You love take-out.

You hate tourists.

You need an iPod

Your building's super is your best friend.

Your new job is your life. Stop whining. Get used to it. Get to like it even.

And when you wake up one morning and find yourself just a little bit altered, you'd better like that, too. 'Cause that's who you are now.

Re: Cute Forward...NY-living related. "If The Shoes Fit"

This isn't me so much anymore...but back in my NYC days, totally!

Re: Cute Forward...NY-living related. "If The Shoes Fit"