Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

So where do I start?

DS is 20 months. He's very termpermental. It took a VERY long time for us to get to the day where he would let me leave him at daycare without a crying fit.

But this morning he wasn't having it. He cried and screamed. And his teacher took him to the door to see the bunnies as I left. I went to the front to pay my bill. And then walked back to see what he was doing.

He was laying on the floor on his belly screaming and throwing himself everywhere in a full blown tantrum. beat red. Arching his head up and slamming it back down face first. Not sure if he was hitting it on the floor. I can't see how he wasn't.

I stood there for about 15 minutes watching this. At no point did anyone come over to him. The Asst. Director came by and saw me standing there very upset. I told her I wanted to take him home. She told me that he will be ok, he just needs to calm down and she went in there and told the teachers to please keep an eye on him that he doesn't hurt himself because he was almost on the tile floor instead of the carpet. Then I had to walk to the car because I could feel myself getting ready to burst out.

Now, I think a lot of mothers probably think this is so terrible. Truth is that my son has some temper tantrum issues and I myself have let him lay on the floor screaming like that because I don't want to give in to it. But for some reason seeing it happen while not in my care has me sick to my stomach.

I sat in the parking lot crying for about 15 minutes talking to DH. Then I called and they said he was sitting at the table reading a book. I could hear that he wasn't screaming. The teacher said that sometimes he does this and they just ignore it. It all sounded kind of cold to me. Like she was mad that the Asst Director came in and complained about it.

I don't know. Like I said, I know the best thing to do was to ignore it. But I hate that for all that time no one seemed concerned about him thrashing his body about like that. I think that if we were home and he did that I probably would have at least put him somewhere where he couldn't get hurt or at that point picked him up and told him to stop because he was going to hurt himself.

I regret not taking him home with me this morning. I hate that he gets so upset. I hate how I feel right now.

Thanks for listening.

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

I'm sorry!

I think what you are feeling is perfectly understandable and I would feel the same way. I agree that they should make sure he is somewhere safe (not close to the tile floors! ) when this is happening and that even though they leave him there, they still need to watch him (to make sure he doesn't do something that could injure himself).

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

Lisa, I really have no advice for you because I would probably be feeling the same way. It's so hard when it is your child and someone else is not taking care of them the way you would.

I'm glad that the Director said something and hope that tomorrow is a better day for you and Matthew!

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

I had a similar issue a few months ago, if you remember the post.

I would leave Logan, they would pick him up to see the fish/bunnies/something and I snuck back in to look at him and he was just sitting there, crying hysterically with no one paying any attention to him.

I went and talked to the director and she actually did a long evaluation of each staff member and their "relationship" and "personality match" with the kids.

They wound up switching out the assistant teacher in my room (the one I had issues with) and putting another one in there that I love.

It was a very calm, reassuring conversation with them, where I also asked what else I could do better and we discussed quicker drop-offs (basically I get him settled quickly then quick kiss and gone.)

Not that you need to do anything different than what you are doing, but just stating that the formal sit down conversation with the director really helped my piece of mind and I've had no issues since.

Is that a possibility??

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

Message edited 4/6/2009 12:40:09 PM.

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

Posted by leighla

Is that a possibility??

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

I feel your pain...



I too am the Daycare Mom of a Tempermental Toddler...

I've never witnessed with my own eyes a tantrum or how it is handled while at daycare in the care of others, but I know very well how bad they are when they happen in my care... I hate to think about how they handle it or how bad it gets, because I myself, don't know how to handle it and it upsets me very much at how bad they can be.

I know he has tantrums at daycare because his teachers have spoken to me about them. They don't make him sound bad, just that he's going through a phase. I get upset about how they handle him and I get upset thinking that they may not give him as much loving care as a child who isn't as difficult. Don't get me wrong, DS can be the sweetest, funniest, happy kid, but during a tantrum, watch out!

I would feel the same way you are feeling now, but I also understand that ignoring a tantrum is probably the best way, but when you are watching someone else ignore your own child... there could be nothing worse...



Let me know if you want to chat. I understand how you feel!

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

thats so sad you had to see that, I think I would have taken him home. You need to speak with the director and let them know how you would have liked this to be handled

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

Well.....if you took him home you would be telling him that if he throws a fit like that he will get his way. So, you really can't do that.

Maybe, suggest that they put him on a soft mat or something like that until he is done. Realistically, they can't give in either because he will continue this behavior.

That would upset me too. I hope this phase ends quickly for you.

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

I used to be an asst director to tutor time in college...
Some of the children had issues with being away from Mommy or Daddy..
That being said, it is extremely important that they watch and make sure he doesnt hurt himself! On one side, if they cater to it and try and console him during it, he will keep doing it as he knows that is what works..most of the time, the kids got over it as they know if wasnt serving any purpose..

It is so hard, now that i am a mom, i would freak if my DD was sitting there and doing that for so long..plus, that is a long time for a tantrum..usually, most of the kids would get better within a few minutes..i wonder if he is not liking where he is at..i hate to say that because i know it is sooo hard, but having worked with kids, sometimes when they really dont like the school or environment, that behavior occurs too...

Re: Daycare Moms of Tempermental Toddlers

What happened at pick up today?