Dealing with Difficult people

I know they have seminars for dealing with difficult people and I should probably go given the position I am in. I am a social worker in a school and my god this little teacher with this great big mouth seems to think screaming helps her. I walked in this morning and she starts screaming at ME that one of her students does not have lunch. I always have extra food in my office when this happens, I always call the parents, and she always has the lunches. She tells me "Tell them I want the lunch in on time and at 10!". You would think I forgot the lunch or I didnt make the lunch based on her mouth. I hear from others she treats them the same way. Today I literally stood there with my mouth dropped. I nearly said "step back and stop screaming in my face!" but I still wanted to act professional so I didnt. What are some ways I can deal with her without screaming back at her. I want to be assertive without being aggressive. I feel like I am being very passive agressive with her right now and getting upset about it.

Message edited 1/3/2006 10:33:10 AM.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

Message edited 1/3/2006 10:36:38 AM.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

i'd bring i to the principle's attention, if she yells at you like that what happens to the kids behind closed doors

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

are you her superior or a co-worker? depending on your relationship w/ her, i would point blank tell her that you don't feel that her behavior is appropriate. there are other ways to handle situations other than yelling and getting angry. it's not healthy for ANYONE. explain that as i teacher, she needs to practice what she preaches and needs to be a positive role model.

Message edited 1/3/2006 10:42:11 AM.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

I think this is best handled outside the classroom. I'm not sure what position you are in with her (co-worker, supervisor, etc), but regardless do not tolerate people speaking to you like that. I would talk to the principal about her behavior and ask that he talk to her about concerns over her teaching and speaking to her co-workers. If he doesn't do anything, you need to talk to her. It is also your responsibility to ensure that people treat you with respect. Tell her that you did not appreciate the tone & the manner in which she addressed you, and you'd like to be sure that this doesn't happen again.

Next time this happens (if it does), tell her after she is done screaming, say "I'd like to speak to you out in the hallway."

I'm not a teacher - but I can tell you that I can't imagine how overwhelming it is to teach kids that aren't well nourished. If she was trying to get her point across that they need lunch, she did it as unprofessionally as she could.

You probably don't need the class, in my opinion, she does.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

Thanks for your advice. I have gotten a few ideas from the various postings. I actually talked to someone here as well. I will probably stop her in the future from going on and ranting and raving and ask her to come to my office when she feels like talking.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

I don't think it is unprofessional to clamly tell someone to "Step back and stop screaming in my face." If the matter is taken care of, then she has no reason to attack anyone verbally. If she cannot continue to deal with you professionally, I would take it up with an administrator.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

I've only worked in schools (as an adult) and it seems to me that too many people who work in education get on power trips. Maybe it's because they think kids are easier to deal with than adults (which is true, IMO) and often you can get kids to bend to your will more than adults.

I have dealt with people like her, and as others pointed out, you can just very politely tell her to not speak to you like that. I bet she'd NEVER accept it from the kids, and she needs to be reminded of that.

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

Re: Dealing with Difficult people

Just wait until after classes or at lunch time and confront her. Tell her that you know how difficult it can be to deal with children, but you really don't appreciate her getting loud with you. Let her know that it's unprofessional and that you'd be more than willing to hear her out, if she would simply come to you with a better attitude.