Dear Kotex.....LOL!!!

Got this email and had to pass it along..just too funny. Long but totally worth it :)

DEAR KOTEX:

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner
had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.

Annoying advice such as:
Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has
never possessed a functioning set of ovaries.

Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water
will help keep her feeling fresh.
Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...
but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen- dare-ya.. .
See what happens and report back.
I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work
and remove the chocolate from the vending machine.
I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.
Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what,
the only activities that interest me is eating...sleeping. ..
bitching or crying for no apparent reason...
and oh...
does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity???? ?

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products.
Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives.
Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival,
many containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads
for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying,
not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up
by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap
to your products or the packaging.
Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper
so we can throw it in our carts discreetly
and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.

Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...
helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces
and shove them right up your ***!

P.S.
How about adding a free sample of Pamprin
and maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?

Re: Dear Kotex.....LOL!!!

Re: Dear Kotex.....LOL!!!

Re: Dear Kotex.....LOL!!!

Re: Dear Kotex.....LOL!!!

thanks for posting!

Re: Dear Kotex.....LOL!!!

Thanks so much for the laugh. Might I be so bold as to add my own suggestion for Kotex marketing?

How about:

-A day pass to beat people up when they pi$$ you off and not be concerned with incarceration during menses.