Desperate for potty training help

Sarah was 3 at the end of February. We've been trying during the day for a LONG time, at least 6 months now. We have a big bag full of prizes she can pick from when she goes on the potty, stickers, I make a huge deal out of each time she even tries to go on the potty. She just has no problem just going in the cotton underwear and not telling me for a while.

Finally yesterday she went on the potty 3 times and had only 1 accident. Then today we're back to going in her undies again.

*Sigh* DH is convinced that she's going to be the first kid to go to college in Depends.

Any advice would be appreciated.

ETA: I realized I should say that I sit her on the potty every 30 mins or so and she's on there for anywhere from 20-45 mins, but then in between she'll go in her pants.

Message edited 6/24/2008 3:50:36 PM.

Re: Desperate for potty training help

I know how you feel!

DS is 3 1/2 and finally just started using the potty on a consistant basis. I talked to teh peditritian about this, and she told me to basically "do nothing" and not to push him. sure enough she was right, and now he's doing it all by himself with little or no accidents. If anything...CONSISTANCY is key

Re: Desperate for potty training help

Maybe you could just have her bottom naked in the house for abut two days. I know it is a PITA to stay in the house with her all day, but I found that it helps get control of the functions. It may force her to realize that she is going to need to go and needs to find a toilet/potty pronto, otherwise she will be wet and on the floor. Then later on, introduce the underwear. This is what I did with Carolyn and it really worked! GL!

Re: Desperate for potty training help

Sorry- double post!

Message edited 6/24/2008 8:32:39 PM.

Re: Desperate for potty training help

I'm not there yet, but my girlfriend potty trained her two by letting them go naked all day. She let them run around her yard, etc.

I'm sorry, I don't know if that helps much

Re: Desperate for potty training help

It sounds like you are giving her a lot of power. She has learned that going on the potty is a huge issue for you, and she can control her environment, and you, by going in her pants. I would back off for a while, and not make a big deal about it. When she realizes she isn't getting attention, she'll probably potty train herself.

DC have very little in their world that they can control. Food going in and coming out of their bodies are the only things they truly control, so they often take full advantage of that.

Re: Desperate for potty training help

Just keep with the underwear, no matter how many accidents. Andrew was also one to not care if he sat all day in wet underwear, but I would just change him and tell him no treat until he goes in the potty. I ended up buying pee target (little things you put in the bowl they can aim at) and he thought it was a game and loved going and pretty much trained from there. I know it's different for girls (I am in the beginning stages of training Lauren and I can tell it's going to be a long uphill climb), but maybe its worth a shot.

Re: Desperate for potty training help

I'll list what we did in no particular order or with one child.

We plied them with fluids & set a timer for 20 minutes. When the timer went off, we sat them on the potty. Yes it was very annoying. It even more annoying for them to stop playing & go potty...which is why I think they cooperated quicker. (THIS DOES NOT WORK FOR CHILDREN under 3 - you need to trick them into thinking it was their idea)

They can have one drink of water after dinner.

I would also carry them to the potty while they were sleeping right before I went to bed (11pm ish).

I don't know if you're still using pull-ups but you need to go cold turkey on them & deal with accidents. I felt like I prolonged potty training much longer than necessary by having pull-ups as fall back. It was easier to throw pull-ups on them than pull over & run them to a gas station bathroom - or deal with accidents. Carry your extra changes of clothes - lots of wipes - at all times.

We promised swimming lessons once he turned 3 if he was potty trained (this was because I wasn't putting my post-baby body in a swimming suit for him to take lessons & they had to be potty trained to go without a parent).

We monitored fluids throughout the day. I know if J had to go potty , I had about 3 minutes to get to a potty. So I would watch what he drank & insist he go potty when I thought it was time. For M, I had 10-15 minutes before she had to go potty. She would by doing the potty dance & deny she had to go (this goes on now). We say it's her body telling her to go to the potty because it's coming...

HTH. Out of all of the above, going cold turkey was what worked best. It was a lot more work & pretty disgusting but ultimately it showed me it wasn't just them that has to commit to the potty training.

Re: Desperate for potty training help

Honestly, I think there is nothing to do now but keep doing the underwear and encouraging but try to keep your expectations low so you and your DH don't get frustrated with her. She will sense it and it will only keep her wetting the undies. Sounds like she knows the deal and it's all in her time at this point. They all have their own pace and IMO it has to be set by the child. Many many kids I know have not TTd until 3 1/2 or 4. Your DH should know that she is hardly unusual in where she is at age-wise - not by a long shot. Believe me, I sweated it with my first child and when I gave up the stressing over it, he was TT'd shortly after on his own terms.

Re: Desperate for potty training help

Thanks. It's nice to hear that other kids were the same.

I'm just so tired of spending so much time in the bathroom. It's like being pregnant all over again.