DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

DH is usually laid back with everything EXCEPT DS's nutrition and feeding. DH is adamant about breastmilk - how it makes babies smarter and have better immune systems. It's just soooooo painful right now. Everyone says it hurts less after a few weeks but I don't think I can continue this burning breastfeeding because of the pain.

I was wondering if you introduced the bottle early on while you fed from the breast, did your baby have nipple confusion? The lactation consultant told me that babies tend to prefer the bottle over a breast nipple because it is easier to suck.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

I was CRAZY about not letting DS have anything other than the breast before 6 weeks. Well, he went home LONG before I did. So he got the bottle starting at 6 days old. He never had a problem. In fact, at 8 weeks old he still wanted the breast more than the bottle. He drove my DH nuts when I went back to work.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

Message edited 3/28/2009 6:57:08 AM.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

First off DO NOT FEEL BAD!!!!! You are a great Mom regardless of how your baby eats! Really!!!

Just a thought though, if you say your nipples are burning, it is possible you have thrush. This is basically a yeast infection (if you or the baby had antibiotics you can get this very easily and people describe it as their nipples are like blades of glass).

I would check with a LC ASAP!

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

there was nipple confusion at the hospital (the nurse gave ds a bottle) and told me after then he was confused... but at home he was fine!

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

Honestly- the whole nipple confusion thing is a load of hooey I think. No baby is going to be *confused* by anything that gives it milk.

That said, the MOST important thing at being successful at breast feeding is the MOTHER'S comfort. If you are not happy/comfortable with BFing, chances you will continue are slim. YOU have to do what will make you happy.

I BF both my girls. My first I BF for almost a year. I loved the experience, but guess what? She has food allergies, so there goes that theory. Currently I am BFing my second and she's almost 5 months- and has shown signs of dairy alergy as well.

I had discomforts and got a lactation consultant to help with latching issues as well as any questions. They are a FANTASTIC source of support.

I am a huge advocate for BFing, as I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience. But I also know my reasons for doing it are MY reasons. The choice to bf is personal- so much so that I believe that husbands really have NO business giving an opinion on the matter. The DH's job is to support the mother i whichever way she chooses to nourish the baby.

Good luck. If you have any BFing questions or just need a shoulder, please feel free to fm me.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

I'm chiming in here for a moment even though i did not BF.

There has been a ton of research now showing how those orginial studies of making babies "smarter" are basically untrue or marginal at best. They showed how there are tons and tons of factors that go into a childs development...and EBF babies tend to be born into higher income families with more opportunities present...thereby skewing results a bit on IQ tests, but even then it was a difference of like 2 or 3 points.

I won't go into the whole article, but someone recently posted it and it was refreshing to read especially when you FF your child and know that the nutrition is fine.

I would be livid if DH had dictated how I fed our child. It's not his body, his sore bleeding nips or his exhaustion..its YOURS and its important to remind him of that. I know his interest is in the baby and he is trying to make sure the baby is healthy, but formula is not evil and won't hurt the baby if you supplement, most of the babies on this board were given formula either right away or early on and are all fine

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

My babies were fed formula from day one. They were born small and the ped wanted me to supplement until my milk came in and then until they got back to their birth weights.
DD latched on and breast fed really well from the first time I put her to my breast. DS was another story. He would turn his head, not open his mouth wide enough, it was so frustrating. When my milk came in I would sometimes give up with him and just feed him a bottle of formula, or sometimes pumped breast milk because it would take so long to try to get him to latch, and he would scream because he was also frustrated and hungry. For the first 2-3 weeks I was constantly crying and saying I wanted to give up breast feeding. Then, one day he just got it. He latched on and ate, and we haven't looked back since. That being said, both DS and DD get a bottle of formula every day before bedtime. Formula keeps them full a little longer, so I can get a little more sleep. Also it has become ingrained in their bedtime routine, and I don't want to mess that up.
So, both babies have had bottles and pacifiers for that matter, and have never once not taken the breast. So for me, I think nipple confusion is over exaggerated.

If YOU want to continue, keep trying, it will get better! But if you are doing it just because your husband wants you to, then tell him to grow boobs and do it.
My DH was supportive of ME. When he saw how upset I was in the beginning, he encouraged me because he knew I really wanted to do it, but at the same time he told me that he would be ok if we fed them formula too, because he didn't want to see me so upset and miserable. You DH shouldn't be making you feel bad or guilty, that will just make things harder for you. I would have him read threads on here about how difficult it is (do a search) and tell him you need his POSITIVE support, not a guilt trip.

Message edited 3/28/2009 8:37:52 AM.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

I did not breast feed, but your DH needs to back off. Until HE can produce BM, then he needs to get over himself.

PLENTY of babies who are formula fed are intelligent and happy babies/kids/adults.

Happy mommy=happy baby.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

I answered your other post but I forgot to say the reason I Pumped exc was because DS did not latch on. HE had a bottle first and he is a very impatient baby. he wanted nothing to do w/ the breast bc he was drinking the full 2 oz of his bottle.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

Just an FYI, breastfeeding does not make babies smarter, that is a misnomer based on a study that has since been disproven.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

I gave DD one bottle in the hospital b/c there was some question about a medication and BF - but that was cleared up. I did offer her a paci when we came home and she was getting pumped bottles (like 2-3 a week) when she was about 3-4 weeks old. We never had any nipple confusion.

I'm sorry b.c I never experienced any difficulties or pain so I think I was extremely lucky. I would say if YOU want your baby to have BM and it is important to you and your DH then I see nothing wrong with pumping and a bottle - what is the difference if she drinks BM from you personally or from a bottle - it is just more difficult to pump all the time but you are offering the same product so I don't see your DH's problem with pumping - it would also give him a chance to feed the baby.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

Posted by maybeajunebaby




A) Until DH has a BREAST to provide breastmilk WITH please do NOT let him make you feel guilty It is so easy to demand something when you have zero idea of the pain & difficulty.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

First off, when your DH can get milk from his chest and feed DC then you can tell him he can say all he wants about feeding DC. I really appreciate his arguments because I feel the same way he does about the nutritive aspect of BM, but he should NOT make you feel badly. It is hard work. It also does not always happen for every woman.

With all that said, I BF DS. It was hard and DS ended up having nipple confusion but I completely feel it is because I waited to long to introduce a nipple - 9 weeks. Can you pump? Can you offer BM first and if that is not enough then give formula. There is no one "right" way to do it. Good luck.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

pain = bad latch

get a lactation consultant pronto....

as for your DH, he likely is focusing a good deal of his new parent anxiety on nutrition and your boobs... which he hs no control over... he HAS to chill out.

never in the history of childrearing has a naggy husband improved a BFing situation

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

Posted by KateDevine

I did not breast feed, but your DH needs to back off. Until HE can produce BM, then he needs to get over himself.

PLENTY of babies who are formula fed are intelligent and happy babies/kids/adults.

Happy mommy=happy baby.

Re: DH is making me feel so bad for not being able to EBF. Did any of your babies have nipple confusion?

i did not bf... i opted to pump and feed because ds would latch and fall asleep... in the end i found pumping to be easier for me... and now i am at 6 months... i did have alot of pain at 3 weeks even with pumping and it turned out that i had thrush which then progressed into mastitis.... i also found that the plasticy nursing pads were irritating me... so i switch to the evenflo ones.... even with all this ds still ended up getting some formula due to the fact that he was drinking 60 ounces a day from the time he was 2 weeks old... until he went onto solids at 5 week..

NOW, i recently had to start putting him on formula again because i cant physically produce enough and it is killing me... but ultimately it is your childs well being that is most important... and you should applaud yourself for even wanting to try bf