my mom is making me feel bad

so a relative is having a bbq on monday and my mom wants us to come. there won't be a ton of people there but Dh and I don't really want to take DD out just yet. It's kiinda far from where we live and she'll only be 3 weeks on tuesday. my mom said she's diisappointed when i said i didnt think we would go. now i feel bad and dont know what to do. this past week was Dh's first week back at work and so we are really looking forward to just being home together and enjoying the day. my mom was like...well you have sat and sun. ugh, what would you do? do you think it's a little early to bring DD out to a gathering at someone else's house? i know DH won't budge but i hate disappointing my mom. Are we being overly neurotic new parents?

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

If it was me I would go, esp if it is going to be outside. But I also took Andrew to Kmart at almost 3 weeks

Do what you feel is best

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Posted by 5ofClubs

If it was me I would go, esp if it is going to be outside. But I also took Andrew to Kmart at almost 3 weeks

Do what you feel is best

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Me personally.. if i feel my dd is too young (which i did at that age) to be around soo many people then i wouldnt do it. Gotta do what your comfortable with, not what others want you to do. If your DD was to get sick, whos going to take care of her, you and your dh, not anyone else.. so in that case do what you want to do. Dont let people put the guilt trip on you.



eta: plus to add, this time of the year alot of people have colds.

Message edited 5/22/2008 4:09:06 PM.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Do you what you feel is best. I personally would not go. I did not bring DD out (besides Doc. app.) until she was 2 months. I guess you can call us neurotic new parents.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

This is your first child, right? Do what you think is best. I stayed home with DS for 6 weeks before going out and wouldn't let any of the kids near him.

Probably won't be the same for the next kids because I personally feel that I (me, myself & I) overreacted.

But we are entitled to make our own decisions...it's acting out of love. I love that my family was so understanding about it too. I got some eye rolls but also some hugs and everyone followed my wishes. That meant a lot to me.

Message edited 5/22/2008 4:11:12 PM.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I would do what you feel comfortable with...you may not be ready to go to a gathering quite yet...that day you may feel like going for an hour...maybe play it by ear.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

This is way too young IMO. I would not bring a child that young around people. Chances are people will want to touch DC.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I wouldnt have brought DD either. DD was 2 weeks old at Christmas and the dr specifically said not to bring her around a group of people. I was afraid at how some family members would react but everyone was totally understanding saying that it is my baby and I need to do what I feel is right. So if you feel it is too early, then it is too early. OR if you just want to stay home with your husband, then do it. You just had a baby, you shouldnt be put out at all...you should go out when you feel ready and want to.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

personally I would go. I took all of my kids out to places the day we left the hospital. They were only 1 day old. But if you don't want to go because you would rather stay home with your new family then I see nothing wrong with that!

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I think no one knows better than you.

We took DD out to a BBQ when she was a week old.
I didn't want to - but we did anyway.
And to this day I wish we didn't but nothing happen, but I still look back and wish I would have listened to my gut.
I had a c-section and I wasn't even up to it myself

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I think you should do whatever you are comfortable with.....I don't think you are being neurotic, DS is my first and I didn't go out to group gatherings until he was 8 weeks, maybe with my next I won't be as nervous, but looking back, I always did what made me feel okay....as new moms we have enough stuff to worry about, if this is something thats going to stress you out more, I would say just stay home!

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Only you & your DH can make the decision. My DD was 3 weeks old Christmas Day. We spoke to the ped about it in advance and took her to see everyone. However, nobody was allowed to hold her or touch her, and I enforced it!!!

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

No I don't think I would have brought DD to a bbq at 3 weeks - but then again I am a more cautious parent - my dr scared me by telling me the standard of care when a baby gets a fever of any kind under 3 months is a spinal tap. I did bring her places young but she was outdoors and not having people directly on top of her. I would think people will want to hold her, go up to her, touch her etc. You need to do what your level of comfort is. Some people are comfortable taking their newborns out immediately - others aren't - there is no right or wrong - just what YOUR level of comfort is.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I personally think its way too young. The only place I took my son for his first 6 weeks was to my mom's place and the pediatrician. I didn't feel comfortble having him around strangers at large gatherings at such a young age.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

too young. its going to be a NIGHTMARE if she gets sick.

People are going to put you on the spot and want to hold her

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I would go, but I'm not one to stay home. We had Ella out right away since the weather was so nice.

You have to do what you're comfortable with.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Do what you feel comfortable with! You don't want to have a bad time.

I was taking my DD out for errands and such since she was young, but I am not sure I would have been up to a party, especially if I was going to be out for a long period time.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Posted by classylayd

Do you what you feel is best. I personally would not go. I did not bring DD out (besides Doc. app.) until she was 2 months. I guess you can call us neurotic new parents.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

UGHHHHHHHHHH i hated this more than anything when i first came home. My dad wanted to show off the DS to EVERYONE, invite EVERYBODY over...all i wanted to do was relax and get to know my son

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

You have to do what you want to do, with YOUR child. I didn't take my DD out will she was almost 8 weeks old and everyone thought I was crazy but I didn't care. I wasn't going to take any chances.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

Hey Chica,

You know I have been dragging Dylan around since he was just 2 weeks old. But, I am so sorry we brought him to my cousin's communion party last week and he was 8 weeks old then. Doing errands is different, no one touches him but me. And when we go to my mom's or MIL's (or your house) I know no one there is sick.

I think he was passed around so much at the party and that's why we both have colds now. Just too much exposure to too many people and germs. If you do decide to go stay really stay on top of people to wash their hands.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

I would not take DC out at 3 weeks, sorry if it makes anyone feel bad. but I'll feel worse if my little one got sick.

Message edited 12/7/2009 10:20:30 AM.

Re: my mom is making me feel bad

i wouldn't go... I kept her away from groups of people for 2 months.