Did I do the right thing? (sorry it's long...)

I've been reading some posts that got me thinking about my last MC... For some history I had 2 losses at 4 weeks in Feb and March... OB ran the MC panel and found MTFHR but didnt believe that was the cause. I started taking baby aspirin and Folgard anyway and she started blood PG testing me at 7DPO since my losses were so early. I had a beta of 6.5 and low progesterone (which is why I suspected I was losing them since I have a short luteal phase) so she put me on prometrium immediately. The beta at 7DPO kind of makes me think I was impanting around then and I know when I O'd so I was quite certain of dates for the PG.

I made it to 6w0D (2 weeks longer than the previous pregnancies) but we saw a fetal pole with no HB (but OB said a slight flicker "could be" the HB but not clear at all). What she thought was the fetal pole measured 6w0d so my timeline appeared to be spot on. My beta that day was "over 20000" (that was Tuesday up from about 7300 on Thurs) so it didnt double but still a "good" increase according to the doctor. It worried me nonetheless given my history...

I went back at 7w0d and only measured 6w3d by the OB measurement. She sent me for a sono on a "better machine" immediately and I think their measurement was 6w4d. No heartbeat found on either sono. It was diagnosed as a MC, I was given the meds to "speed the process" and accepted the diagnosis.

Looking back on it, should I have had them do a beta and gone back later in the week to be more sure? I just thought since my dating was pretty accurate that there definitely should have been a HB even if I was 6w3d or 6w4d (even though I really should have been 7w0d) and it appeared the fetus stopped growing but now I'm so worried I didn't give it a enough time

I know I can't change anything now but it has me wondering if things would have been OK if I had given it a little more time... if maybe the baby aspirin and progesterone did help my problem, or if it wouldnt have and I have another underlying issue. Sorry for my rambling, I'm just still such a mess of emotions and terrified to try again and potentially suffer a 4th loss

Re: Did I do the right thing? (sorry it's long...)

First off, I am so, so sorry for your losses

I am going through this now. At 7w1d we had a low HB. They took blood and my progesterone was low. I started a suppository but it made no difference. By the time I went back a week later, there was no HB or growth.

I think it is common for us to feel maybe if we did something different, the outcome might have changed. Im wondering now if it would have made a difference if they check my progesterone in the beginning or if going for 3 sonos before 7 weeks made a difference. Im even now contemplating if I did this to myself by stressing out so much. Ultimately though, you cant think like that. It will always be in God's hands and some things are just not meant to be

Im not trying to down play your situation. I would be scared too after multiple losses. Im just saying its only making it harder on you to keep wondering "what if". I would have to think they would not have called it a M/C and started you on the meds if they werent 100% sure. I went for a 2nd opinion myself even though I knew it was over. The second sono machine was much clearer then my doctors (I went to Madonna Perinatal for it) Looking back, that actually made it HARDER for me because it was so clear that seeing what could have been my baby then being told that there absolutely was no HB or growth was even more devastating.

Hang in there (Much easier said then done I know)

Re: Did I do the right thing? (sorry it's long...)

I honestly don't think the doctor would've given you the meds if they believed there was ANY chance that it would work out.

When my husband asked my doctor if there was Any chance the doctor said 0% it was hard to hear but now looking back I was happy about the matter of fact nature of his answer.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I keep telling myself this...we all just want a healthy baby, and an early loss is gods way of letting us know that that particular baby wouldn't survive, and wasn't healthy. Try not to play the what if game.

Re: Did I do the right thing? (sorry it's long...)

My sister said something to me that has actually helped me see some light at the end of this tunnel.

She told me to think about the baby I will eventually be holding in my arms and the fact that I would not have that baby if I didnt go through this first.

Now thats not to say I wouldnt have loved and adored and thanked God, everyday for this pregnancy to have worked out but what she says is interesting because the son or daughter I eventually have would have never existed if this didnt happen first.

Its hard to find happiness/relief in that RIGHT NOW...but I know that when I look at that baby I will know she was right.