Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

I went to church this morning... we have a bible study on Wednesday mornings and I try to go when I can b/c I'm friendly with a lot of the women who attend it and I enjoy spending time with them.
I HATE speaking out in public- even just reading out loud can make my face turn bright red and if all attention is on me, forget it- I break out into a sweat and feel like I'm going to pass out...
Anyway, I'm there today w/ a very small group of women and I was going to speak with them about how badly I've been feeling about certain things w/in IF and ask for extra prayer. All of the sudden the door opens and in walks a woman and her newborn. She got married last year and already has a newborn--- a very cute, chubby cheeked, blue eyed, brown haired, fair skin newborn... I just wasn't expecting it.
I couldn't focus the entire meeting- she brought her to the table and of course she was facing me and staring at me the entire time. (others even made notice of that so it wasn't just me) All of the sudden the mom gets up, and while holding the baby she starts walking around to my side of the table... and asks me if I can hold her while she goes to the rest room- while handing her at me. So I did... but I truly felt like it was a setup (ok, I know now I sound paranoid)... and I felt like everyone was watching me with this baby (who made me ) I ended up holding her for about 30 mins... the mom came back but the baby was content so she didn't take her from me- she went back to her seat and had me hold her until she started to really fuss.
Then my friend invited me for coffee afterwards- and we've been trying to catch up for weeks, so I accepted. All of the sudden I hear the mom say you guys can come in my car--- we're going with her and the baby (though no one has asked me!!!!) So we drive like 20 mins from where I live, and they leave me in the car with the baby while they 'run in' to the pediatrician's office (for like 10 mins).
So all the while I'm sitting here thinking somehow there's supposed to be some message in this, but seriously, I'm missing the memo... Sorry, I know this is long--- I just feel so emotionally drained right now... I love babies, but I just wasn't anticipating this today--- she doesn't even really go to our church anymore.

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

I'm so sorry.. that sounds incredibly emotionally draining! But it sounds like you handled it like a champ, so good for you!

Maybe some babydust rubbed off on you!

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

Shannon, I'm sorry, it's so trying sometimes, just getting through the day.

I can honestly tell you I don't know if I'm missing the memo or not, sometimes I don't even think it's being sent to me. For me, I'm done looking at signs, hoping for a sign, thinking this is the time it will happen. It will happen if it happens to me.

I just have hope and continue on.

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

does your group know about your IF?

I would look at it as God's way of letting you know that it will happen for you when the time is right. But i always look into signs and messages from God.
I've been prayng for him to give me a sign if i am supposed to have a baby. when i had spotting the other day i thought this is my sign! and it's implantation spotting! But no, it was AF and so there's my sign

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

I'm sorry about what happened Shannon! It's tough because we can't always control these situations and they can be so upsetting.

Lately, I have been thinking that my message is that I should not have children I just feel like between the IF, the m/c, the D&C debacle, I had a nasty sinus/ear infection while all of this was going on (and couldn't take anything OTC!), and then I developed a UTI after the D&C (as soon as I stopped taking antibiotics) - that someone is telling me this is not meant for me! Or, I did something really bad in my prior life!!!

I know deep down inside that it is not true, but it sure feels like it lately!!!

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

Posted by shiv

does your group know about your IF?

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

Posted by KrisT
Lately, I have been thinking that my message is that I should not have children I just feel like between the IF, the m/c, the D&C debacle, I had a nasty sinus/ear infection while all of this was going on (and couldn't take anything OTC!), and then I developed a UTI after the D&C (as soon as I stopped taking antibiotics) - that someone is telling me this is not meant for me! Or, I did something really bad in my prior life!!!
I know deep down inside that it is not true, but it sure feels like it lately!!!

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

It is so hard, its hard not to look for signs or messages - I do that all the time. I try talking to G-d, trying to figure out why this is so difficult. I think there are reasons for things, just not always sure about them. It sounds like such a difficult situation you were in, but you handled it well. It is odd that they were leaving the baby with you so much, but maybe it does just say, hey you're going to be great at this when its time and it will one day be. I'm glad one of the women that knows about everything called to check on you, that was nice.

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

You were in a bible study.. IMO there is a message..What the message was I dont know.. But I do now this for a fact..... " When 2 or more gather in His name he is there in the midst".. Out of all the women there she hands the baby to you??? More shall be revealed.. I assure you that..

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

Posted by dilb712

You were in a bible study.. IMO there is a message..What the message was I dont know.. But I do now this for a fact..... " When 2 or more gather in His name he is there in the midst".. Out of all the women there she hands the baby to you??? More shall be revealed.. I assure you that..

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

Posted by MrsMessina

Posted by dilb712

You were in a bible study.. IMO there is a message..What the message was I dont know.. But I do now this for a fact..... " When 2 or more gather in His name he is there in the midst".. Out of all the women there she hands the baby to you??? More shall be revealed.. I assure you that..

Thanks Diana. I thought the same thing this morning... but I wasn't sure if I was being tortured or if there was some underlying message.

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

Posted by dilb712

You were in a bible study.. IMO there is a message..What the message was I dont know.. But I do now this for a fact..... " When 2 or more gather in His name he is there in the midst".. Out of all the women there she hands the baby to you??? More shall be revealed.. I assure you that..

Re: Did you ever feel like you are just missing the message?

First when I read this I thought it sounded pretty cruel.

But in reality, I think its a sign.