Dilema with children's sports

So my daughter is a competitive gymnast. She is very good but she started on the later side. The fact that she started at all was on a whim because everyone told me how good she was and I figured it was now or never so I let her try out for a team thinking she would never make it. She did. She is at a gym that I would call OK. They are super nice and she does well at meets but I think that she could do much better. However, she has been at her gym for 4 years and loves her teammates and coaches. That being said, she will outgrow this gym in another 2 years no matter what because they only go to a certain level.

Currently we are at our summer house. She goes to another gym here to train for the summer. The coach here is beyond amazing. She learns more here in 4 weeks than she does in a year at ther home gym. The coach here emailed me this morning to talk aboutmy daughter's goals. In a nut shell, she told me that my daughter is probably in the top 2% of all the gymnasts she has ever coached (over 9k throughout her life). I already knew that she is talented because she did extremely well at the state championship meet this year amongst other things. She is trying to gently push me towards a different path for my daughter because she is so talented. She is 11, turning 12 next month. My daughter is reluctant to change gyms because of how much she loves her coaches and teammates. Gymnastics, though, is very much an individual sport.

So my question is, when it comes to something like this, what would you do? Would you encourage your daughter to change gyms for a better program and a chance to acheive much more success, potentially even compete at the collegiate level or beyond? Or would you have her stay where she is, where she is comfortable and has great friendships, but it potentially limits her possibility for acheiving much higher goals in her sport? I am struggling with this because, to be completely honest, I do not have any real talent what so ever. I am good at math and I am very funny IRL but TBH I am not one of those people that possesses a true talent for anything. My daughter does have this talent which I find so incredibly great, but also, something I am completely unfamiliar with managing.

Message edited 7/16/2022 6:47:53 PM.

Dilema with children's sports

I would sit down and have a serious talk with your daughter and see what her goals are. Is it her passion or is it just a hobby. If it is just a hobby leave her where she is and let her have fun. If she is serious about it, then move to a better gym. It is a serious commitment even more so as she gets older which will take the opportunities of perusing other activities as she gets into HS.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

So right now she is at the gym 12 hours a week and it will be more and more. So already not a hobby and more a passion.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Re: Dilema with children's sports

I don’t have any great advice, but I think change can be tough no matter the age. I’ve struggled with it at times as an adult- ie switching jobs for a better opportunity when I’m comfortable somewhere. Maybe encourage to change gyms as you mentioned regardless it sounds like she will need to in 2 years anyway. I’m sure she will make more friends as they will already have a common interest of being passionate about gymnastics. Good luck!

Dilema with children's sports

My friend's daughter also has incredible gymnastics skills and changing gyms is kind of par for course. It's hard but she makes new friends and I think 1 or 2 even follow her to the new gym. She was even driving 45 minutes each way 5 days a week and just relocated to one closer. She'd do homework in the car and would get home at 9:30 every night. But when the talent is there AND the desire, you go where she will get the most. Good luck!

Message edited 7/17/2022 9:30:45 AM.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Message edited 7/17/2022 4:47:58 PM.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Honestly, I would have her change programs now. If the goal is to continue, it seems she will eventually go to the advanced program either way. If you were to wait the two years until she ages out, she will now potentially be two years behind her new peers who were in advanced program longer, making the transition more intimidating. If she doesn’t like it, she can go back to the original program for fun. I also think it’s important to teach her that you shouldn’t let your talents be held back because of friendships, especially when it comes to choosing colleges, careers, jobs, ect. Follow her own path.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Message edited 7/19/2022 10:36:02 AM.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Re: Dilema with children's sports

If it were my daughter (and mine is actually the same age) I would talk to her (not encouraging either way) and in the end, go with her decision. This year ahead and the ones that will follow - at least the next few years- will be ones of enormous change socially/emotionally and physically. Adding a change that she isn’t ready for and doesn’t choose on her own could lead to her hating gymnastics and quitting.

I have seen both with my own kids and other friends that just because someone has a gift/talent for something doesn’t necessarily mean it will be something they want to pursue in the short or long run. Countless middle/high school kids turn around after years of dance/sports/music instrument etc and just quit cold turkey or switch direction. It’s hard to watch especially when they have a gift. If she continues to have the passion and a drive for the sport, one year won’t make a difference, more important for her to be happy and in control of whatever decision is made- if you are ok with that, not all parents are and I get that. So hard to know the balance when dealing with a gifted child! Hope this helps at least a little!

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Re: Dilema with children's sports

My son is the same age. I let him do the guiding with sports because at the end of the day, it's up to them how much they want to excel. I would either have a very frank discussion with her or have the summer coach do it. Either way, let her make the decision.

It sounds to me like you want to advance her, which is fine if she wants that too, but be careful what you wish for. The time, the expense, your DD will have no life outside of school and gymnastics so you can forget about her being well rounded...these are things you have to consider because it effects your entire family.

Also, its nice to have college aspirations and maybe get money but think about all the money you will be spending to get her there. We are a big lax family. We have family who went on full rides to D1 schools but their parents spent thousands between travel teams and the travel itself to get them to that level and then, once they were there, they spent thousands travelling to all of their games. I highly doubt they saved much money. And, BTW, what are they doing now? Accounting.

Re: Dilema with children's sports

Posted by FirstMate

My son is the same age. I let him do the guiding with sports because at the end of the day, it's up to them how much they want to excel. I would either have a very frank discussion with her or have the summer coach do it. Either way, let her make the decision.

It sounds to me like you want to advance her, which is fine if she wants that too, but be careful what you wish for. The time, the expense, your DD will have no life outside of school and gymnastics so you can forget about her being well rounded...these are things you have to consider because it effects your entire family.

Also, its nice to have college aspirations and maybe get money but think about all the money you will be spending to get her there. We are a big lax family. We have family who went on full rides to D1 schools but their parents spent thousands between travel teams and the travel itself to get them to that level and then, once they were there, they spent thousands travelling to all of their games. I highly doubt they saved much money. And, BTW, what are they doing now? Accounting.