Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

I am so upset. I shared with my sister that I am taking the next step, and she had trouble having a baby and she had unexpalined infertilty. I thought it would be nice to be able to share with my sister my struggles and be able to lean on her for some support. It is almost as if she is jealous.... she ended up adopting a beautiful newborn girl last year. etc. So here I am and no matter what when we talk or go out out of nowhere she tells me I am not getting any younger, why did I wait this long, maybe it is not timing even if I was not timing my ovulation something should have happened and it did not yet. I feel like a complete failure here, I am so upset. I feel like I am never going to be a Mom, and I feel as if she wants me to adopt and I never have the experience of having a pregnancy, not that there is anything worng with it, I would adopt anyway, becuase it is a precious gift , and I plan on adopting one day ... but want a child I conceive with my DH....Of course DH told me not to tell my sister but silly me thought I would have someone to turn to. He does not know I even told her, it is almost as if she is "enjoying" making me fear the unknown and making me feel insecure and I also feel less of a woman by the way she is talking to me....I am very depressed.... I certainly do not have my Mom to talk to about this, she passed away almost 14 years ago. I am really scared at what the doctor is going to do when I go on the 30th. I know I do not need a pap I had one less then a year ago, but I am petrified and scared. HELP!

Message edited 4/18/2007 4:28:12 PM.

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

First of all, at this point I wouldn't share anything more with your sister. If she asks, just tell her you are working on it.

Secondly, you need support right now and if she isn't giving it to you then you need to go elsewhere if possible - maybe a very close friend.

This is a difficult struggle and you do need to speak with an RE, he/she will start to give you answers and open some doors for you. From there, you can decide what you want to do in regards to fertility treatments and/or adoption.

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

Totally agree with what Gerty wrote!

I hope that you find answers and if you have questions or support, I am sure me or any of the girls on the board will be there for you! Good Luck!

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

Thank you both of you! It is nice to know I can come on here and have you to talk to. I am going to take your advice and not tell her anything else. I will update all of you on the 30th when I go to the doctor. That is if you all can take my questions and postings until then!!!!

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

Posted by Gertyrae

First of all, at this point I wouldn't share anything more with your sister. If she asks, just tell her you are working on it.

Secondly, you need support right now and if she isn't giving it to you then you need to go elsewhere if possible - maybe a very close friend.

This is a difficult struggle and you do need to speak with an RE, he/she will start to give you answers and open some doors for you. From there, you can decide what you want to do in regards to fertility treatments and/or adoption.

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

Posted by Gertyrae

First of all, at this point I wouldn't share anything more with your sister. If she asks, just tell her you are working on it.

Secondly, you need support right now and if she isn't giving it to you then you need to go elsewhere if possible - maybe a very close friend.

This is a difficult struggle and you do need to speak with an RE, he/she will start to give you answers and open some doors for you. From there, you can decide what you want to do in regards to fertility treatments and/or adoption.

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

Posted by LaurenExp

Posted by Gertyrae

First of all, at this point I wouldn't share anything more with your sister. If she asks, just tell her you are working on it.

Secondly, you need support right now and if she isn't giving it to you then you need to go elsewhere if possible - maybe a very close friend.

This is a difficult struggle and you do need to speak with an RE, he/she will start to give you answers and open some doors for you. From there, you can decide what you want to do in regards to fertility treatments and/or adoption.

Gerty's always got the best advice. I'm so sorry you can't trust your sister with one of the most important things in your life right now. We're always here for you to lean on.

Re: Dilema with my sister infertilty related....

One women's choice does not= the right choice for you. You have a right to have your sister listen to you and hug you when you hurt. Adoption, yes, is an option but that does not mean it is an option for YOU, or the right option at this time.

Your feelings are very vaild and worthwhile. I am sorry that she cannot see that.