Divorce questions??

So i thought i would ask you girls if anyone has experience.
my girlfriend has a daughter and is in the middle of a divorce, they are going to get lawyers and etc but she was just asking about the custody situation.
like how often will her daughter be with her father, etc??? i feel terrible she is devistated, she doesnt want to keep her daughter from him but hates that she will be away from her daughter at times.
if anyone has any experience or thoughts about this please let me know.,
i told her what i thought, i always thought (as long as both parents are sane) mother gets child, father gets every other weekend, and 1 day during week normally but im sure every situation is different..

basically her husband (soon to be ex) is saying he will fight to get the baby every other weekend and completely split the week like 3 days then the next week 4 days....

Re: Divorce questions??

so many people read but no one has an advice???

Re: Divorce questions??

He wants to fight for joint custody, and that's something they'll have to work out. BIL gets 1 day/week, but frankly he didn't want any more than that. It's a different ballgame if he's willing and able to fight for more. Tell her to get a good lawyer.

Message edited 7/13/2011 8:41:16 PM.

Re: Divorce questions??

That's a tough situation. My SIL just went through a divorce. I think it was in their separation agreement. Your friend needs to speak to her lawyer. I think it is every other weekend that the father has the 2 kids. And I think he comes over monday, wednesday and friday nights to her house to see the kids. It is a hard situation but I think it is in the child's best interest to see their dad.

Re: Divorce questions??

wow 3 days a week, i agree the child should be with both parents but i feel bad i think a child should have 1 home and visit the other parent..stability ya know...but every other weekend and 3 days a week is alot i think

Re: Divorce questions??

depends on the situation. we have an exact 50/50 split. if the dad wants more than weekends he can definitely fight for it.

Re: Divorce questions??

I don't think there's any way to generalize about what "usually" happens.

She needs to speak with her lawyer and together they will find out what her STBX wants. If he wants full and equal joint custody and it's feasible, the court may order that. If he's ok with less, then the courts may agree to that.

Growing up, my parents lived in the same town, but I lived with my mom. I was able to take the bus home from school to either of their homes, though, if I wanted. Obviously, I was older than your friend's child is.

I have a friend I grew up with whose parents had 50-50 custody. Her mother lived in Queens and her father lived in Nassau county. She would literally spend 3 days at one house, 4 at the other. She went to school where her mother lived up until High school then switched to the school by her father. Kinda crazy, but it seemed to work for their lives.

Divorce is never easy. I have a friend who has 3 children (including a 1-year-old) who is just starting the process right now. Only her husband is from Brazil and is the sole breadwinner in their home and she's desperately afraid of losing her children. I hope things go well for your friend. Sorry she and her family have to go through this, but hopefully it will make for a better quality of life for all involved once it's done.

Re: Divorce questions??

It's called a custody "agreement" for a reason. They both have to agree on the terms of custody. There is no "Normal".

Re: Divorce questions??

My brother wants 50/50 custody. He's OOS so I'm not sure how much his situation applies. The kids are just over 2. He has one overnight, and sees them for a few hours 6 days a week. He's spent a ton on a lawyer already, but is still fighting for more time and to be able to travel with them. His lawyer thinks he should wait until they're 4 to continue.

Re: Divorce questions??

My DD lives with me. She spends every other weekend with her Dad plus has dinner with him from 4-7 ,1-2 nights a week...