Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

I will start with a little back story as to why I am asking...
Yesterday I was at my BIL's house. DS was hitting his TV. I of course was telling DS "no," and doing my best to redirect his attention after pulling him away from the TV. DS was very cranky after being in the car for 3 hours & skipping his nap. DS kept going back over to the TV, maybe 5 times throughout the day, we were there 4 hours. The last time BIL yells from the other room, "can I yell at him?" This was while I was tending to the situation. So I just looked at him and said "You want to yell at my son?" and he ignored me. Then he walks into the other room & starts saying how Lance broke the TV (he did not) and his children start crying that the TV is broken.
So.... Should I not be offended by the situation, because I am a little. Should I have said Yes & let him yell at my 14 month old because it is his house?

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

that's a toughie. I don't like yelling at all.

Would he just have told him in a stern voice to say away? That would have been helpful to me, maybe then Josh would have been scared off and listened.

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

I would've just said, "I'll handle it."

As long as you were really taking care of the situation, I don't think he should have felt it was his place to "yell" at him. However, I don't think it would've been out of line for him to talk to your son and ask him not to do it.

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

Discipline yes, Yelling-no.


My nephews are tough and at times need it....and my SIL will actually make me discipline them (which I dont like since they dont listen to me anyways).
She wants them to respect me.

I also dont feel right doing it.
And one time, the oldest turned over and cried and told his mother I hit him which I didnt.

to answer, It wouldnt bother me if they did, family, disciplined my child.

Message edited 2/14/2008 12:20:26 PM.

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

First off, yelling at a 14 month old is completely inappropriate and I would never allow anyone to yell at my son. Sounds to me like you were in control of the situation -- redirecting is about all you can do at this age.

As long as you weren't letting him run wild and destroy other people's property there would be no reason for anyone else to step in.

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

In this scenario, I would not have liked it. In karate class, some of the instructors would ask me if it's all right to discipline DS, even though I was in the class assisting. I was fine with that, since it is their class, and in there, they are the authority figures. I want DC to realize that other adults have authority, but I also don't want to be undermined, overshadowed, or have disciplines that I don't approve of.

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

I think it would have been ok for him to say something, but not to yell. if he went and hit the tv 5 times, things were not being handled, sorry jmo

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

Disclipline-yes, yelling-no.

It's unbelievable how our kids will listen to other's and yet they don't obey us for anything!

Re: Do you allow other people to discipline your child? (kind of long story)

Thank you all for responding. I have to say I don't mind at all if another adult tells him not to do something. I am fine with that, especially if I don't see what he is doing & they do. I just felt bad that he wanted to "yell" at my son because he thought that his brother & I were being less effective than he would have liked. I don't know if that makes any sense.