Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I think about this a lot!
DH and I are only children he is fine with one but I actually do feel as though I owe DC a sibling. I see now that I am getting older and my family is as well when my parents parents "moved on" at least my mother has a sister to keep some sort of family relation with and did not have to go through parent hospitalizations, nursing homes, and funerals alone. I am petrified to do all of this alone!(I know I have DH but I think a sibling who is as close to your parents as you are has a different perspective on these situations) I realize there is no guarantee in life my kids will be close but I at least have a shot if I have another-but 2 is it NO MORE FOR ME!

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Yes, I actually did!

I have a sister and I could never imagine depriving my child of that wonderful experience! There are so many things that only siblings can share!

In my world, being an only child is a very sad destiny! And the sad part is: those who are don't even know what they are missing. My two closest friends are both "the only" children. I always fell so bad for them! Of course , they are perfectly content with their lives.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

nah... i have a younger couisins who are only children and they are like sisters to their friends.

likewise, i know people who have many siblings, who cannot stand to be around each other, so in the end, it doesn't really matter.

i personally loved the whole pregnancy thing, and raising children, so there will be more, but not so much b/c i feel i "owe" my son a sibling...

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

It's funny - when my oldest was small I actually felt like I owed it to him NOT to have another child.

When I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd, I was worried. Really worried.

I kept thinking that with ONE baby I would be able to devote so much time and attention to him. I kind of thought of the love I had to offer in finite terms and was concerned how I would 'spread it around'. I was worried that my older child would suffer because we weren't the most financially stable couple at the time and I figured Robbie (my oldest) would get less 'things'. I thought he would resent having an interloper come in when he was 2 and steal his thunder.

As it turned out - my fears were not justified. I found out I have a limitless supply of love and my heart only got bigger. And things were never important to either child - so long as we gave them the love and attention they craved. It all worked out just fine for us. Robbie and NoNo argue and drive me crazy - but I wouldn't change things for the world.

BUT... more than one is NOT for everyone. The work load get's disproportionately larger when you have more than one. Also it is harder to go on vacations - and more expensive to do EVERYTHING. And some people want only one child.

It frustrates me when people want to decide what YOU should do and what is best for YOUR family.

Your smart. You'll figure it out and create the family that works for you, your husband and your baby!

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

"Owe" is not a good word...however, I have always dreamed of my children in the plural sense, lol. I cannot imagine having only 1. I LOVED growing up with siblings..we had so much fun and I just can't see him being an only child. If for some reason we couldn't have anymore biological children we'd adopt (and still may in the future).

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I have had a patient say that exact term to me. I would love to give my DD a sibling so she has someone to fight with constantly and poke her in the back of the car In all seriousness I don't feel as though I owe it to her but I would like her to have one.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Not "owe" ...thats a strange word, but I would like for him to have that experience.

I was an only child and wished for a brother or sister...and I know I take on roles dealing with my mom that would help if I had a sibling.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I don't feel I owe her a sibling, but it is something I'd love to be able to give to her - the gift of sibling companionship and love, and something that would give me immense joy, to watch them interact.

With that said, having more children does not necessarily mean that they will form close bonds. I have two older brothers, one is 2 years older and the other is 4 years older, and the relationship between all of us is severely strained.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I sure hope not! I have been strongly encouraed (my multiple doctors) against ever even attempting to have a sibling for Joseph.
I often think about him not having a sibling to grow up with and how he is going to miss out on so many things. My sister is my best friend and I would love to give him that, I just don't think I am able.
Maybe in a few years when I have steady good health the agencies will allow us to adopt. I'm not sure but it is an option.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

For me personally, yes.

I want Logan to have a brother or sister so that if anything were to happen to us they would still have each other.

But I have no negative opinions of people that have one child.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Eh-I have two brothers and often wish I was an only child. Love them-but the relationships have been up and down and sometimes so hurtful it would be easier if I was an only child. I also know that any elder care for our parents will be soley my responsibility, so I won't get any relief or support in that area just because I am not an only child.

That said, I am an optimist and hope that if/when we do have more children they will all be very close and be best friends. But who knows, my kids could end up wishing they were only children! So no, I don't think you owe your child a sibling.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I feel like I should have another one so that DS has a partner in crime for the rest of his life....I have two brothers and I cant imagine not having a tie to my past

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I don't know if it's a feeling of oweing DD a sibling, but DH and I def. want to have more children.

When i was growing up i had quite a few friends who were only children and i have to say that each one of them was 'weird'. I'm not saying in a bad way but they each had something about them where they were just a little different than my other friends who had siblings.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Posted by nrthshgrl

I don't think you "need" to do anything for your child in terms of a sibling. Only you know what's right for your family.

For me, yes I did. I wanted more than one child because I think changes the dynamic of the family & of the child in ways that I wanted. I'm not going to go into an only child debate with someone. I think it can be an advantage or disadvantage.

I wanted my child to have someone to turn to & say "You know how mom can be" complete with the . I wanted them to have someone who can share in having aging parents & dealing with the loss. I wanted them to have a chance at having a sibling so they didn't feel alone.


I am painfully aware that it's not a guarantee. Sometimes siblings don't get along. Sometimes they disappoint each other. Sometimes they can be more hurtful than anyone else because you expect more from them. But, I'm an optimist - particularly when it comes to my children. So yes, I do feel like I owed them one.

So far, so good.

Message edited 2/26/2008 10:17:38 AM.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I do, and it's probably the reason that I will have another child. I also get the "time" pressure..."they shouldn't be more than 3 years apart," etc. etc.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

I don't know...in a way I do feel like I would want a sibling for my son but not yet. I want him to be babied until he doesn't want to be babied anymore and I think then he'll be ready for a sibling.

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Re: Do you feel you "owe" DC a sibling?

Posted by hbugal

Posted by Goldi0218

My siblings wanted a dog. They got me. End of story.

My neighbors dog just had puppies. Of course the kids want one in the worst way. We tell them that they should of thought of that before they asked for a baby brother!!!!! I said most kids ask for a baby brother and get a dog...you actually GOT the baby brother...You are soooo NOT getting a dog!!!

On to the original post..I actually feel bad that Caden wont have a brother!!!! Like 5 sisters isnt enough!!!!!