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Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

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Lucky
Growing up fast!

Member since 4/07

12683 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

We don't but have been planning on getting one. We really need to get on top of it.

Posted 2/22/08 9:07 PM
 
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mtg1970
We love summer!

Member since 5/05

1063 total posts

Name:
Teresa

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

DH & I just finalized ours- it includes guardianship, trust for our DD, health care proxy, etc. We had a really comprehensive one done. If you have children, house, etc this is an absolute must.

Posted 2/22/08 9:10 PM
 

CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!

Member since 5/05

14021 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Message edited 2/24/2022 8:16:23 PM.

Posted 2/22/08 9:16 PM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32461 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by shamrock124

I just wanted to add to the thread on a whole...

This in not an area where you should be looking to go as inexpensively as possible. These are documents that will speak your wishes when you can't and it's important that they are set up to say what you want whether it be post-mortem or when you are incapacitated. It's just not about who will raise your children if both you and your spouse die; there are so many other things that need to be discussed and drawn up.

How many of you have a durable power of attorney that has specific language that will allow your POA to decide financial matters for you? Or your spouse for you? Can you imagine the financial constraints without it and trying to assess joint assets where that one party can't consent because of their incapacity? Think about the trouble of selling your home if you have to but your spouse can't sign.

Did you know that in NYS, if your estate goes through probate that the spouse of the decedent does not get a 100% if the estate?

How many of you have Long Term Disability insurance? At our ages, that is a lot more important then life insurance and much more likely to be needed.


This is an area I would really seek professional guidance and to do it sooner then later.



ITA. We have talked to a few professionals already.

Posted 2/22/08 9:18 PM
 

mtg1970
We love summer!

Member since 5/05

1063 total posts

Name:
Teresa

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by shamrock124

I just wanted to add to the thread on a whole...

This in not an area where you should be looking to go as inexpensively as possible. These are documents that will speak your wishes when you can't and it's important that they are set up to say what you want whether it be post-mortem or when you are incapacitated. It's just not about who will raise your children if both you and your spouse die; there are so many other things that need to be discussed and drawn up.

How many of you have a durable power of attorney that has specific language that will allow your POA to decide financial matters for you? Or your spouse for you? Can you imagine the financial constraints without it and trying to assess joint assets where that one party can't consent because of their incapacity? Think about the trouble of selling your home if you have to but your spouse can't sign.

Did you know that in NYS, if your estate goes through probate that the spouse of the decedent does not get a 100% if the estate?

How many of you have Long Term Disability insurance? At our ages, that is a lot more important then life insurance and much more likely to be needed.


This is an area I would really seek professional guidance and to do it sooner then later.



My thoughts exactly! Our estate lawyer went though all the different scenarios with us.

Posted 2/22/08 9:20 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by shamrock124

I just wanted to add to the thread on a whole...

This in not an area where you should be looking to go as inexpensively as possible. These are documents that will speak your wishes when you can't and it's important that they are set up to say what you want whether it be post-mortem or when you are incapacitated. It's just not about who will raise your children if both you and your spouse die; there are so many other things that need to be discussed and drawn up.

How many of you have a durable power of attorney that has specific language that will allow your POA to decide financial matters for you? Or your spouse for you? Can you imagine the financial constraints without it and trying to assess joint assets where that one party can't consent because of their incapacity? Think about the trouble of selling your home if you have to but your spouse can't sign.

Did you know that in NYS, if your estate goes through probate that the spouse of the decedent does not get a 100% if the estate?

How many of you have Long Term Disability insurance? At our ages, that is a lot more important then life insurance and much more likely to be needed.


This is an area I would really seek professional guidance and to do it sooner then later.



All great points which is why I need to get my act together on so many things before meeting with the lawyer.

Posted 2/22/08 9:20 PM
 

Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare

Member since 5/05

17988 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

We have this on the list of things to do..but it is #1. We also want to sit with my BIL and SIL first to explain our wishes that they care for Lucas and how we would prepare for that financially. I'd like to have them on board otherwise we need to figure it out.

Posted 2/22/08 9:22 PM
 

-DonnaMarie-
<3

Member since 5/05

6079 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by shamrock124

Yes, we do and we do have contingents.



same here

Posted 2/22/08 9:23 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

We dont have a will, we should but we dont have any real assests so its not yet needed.

Its known my mom would have him first and his godparents next.

Posted 2/22/08 10:04 PM
 

MsMBV
:P

Member since 5/05

28602 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

We do and we have primary and secondary contingents.

Posted 2/22/08 10:05 PM
 

lbelle821
Arghhhhh

Member since 2/06

5285 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

wow, I need to get my act together. I don't know who I'd choose if not our parents. And I could totally forsee drama between my parents and his mom. We really should get on this too. Thanks for bringing it up!

Posted 2/22/08 10:43 PM
 

CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!

Member since 5/05

14021 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by dm24angel

We dont have a will, we should but we dont have any real assests so its not yet needed.

Its known my mom would have him first and his godparents next.



Donna, assets aren't the only reason to have a will. Regardless of whether it is "known"; the courts will decide where and to whom Noah will go and it may not be your mother. And your DH's godparents would hardly be considered as well because they aren't issues of blood.

Posted 2/22/08 10:45 PM
 

leighla
Support Cancer Research

Member since 5/05

16353 total posts

Name:
Lauren

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by dm24angel

We dont have a will, we should but we dont have any real assests so its not yet needed.

Its known my mom would have him first and his godparents next.



Donna, assets aren't the only reason to have a will. Regardless of whether it is "known"; the courts will decide where and to whom Noah will go and it may not be your mother. And your DH's godparents would hardly be considered as well because they aren't issues of blood.



I was just going to say the same thing.

Someone from Danny's family could step up and say "Well he told ME I would be the guardian."

Then it's only one person's word against the other.

I've seen this happen to people in the past. It can get really ugly if it's not explicitly and legally stated.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 2/22/2008 10:48:10 PM.

Posted 2/22/08 10:47 PM
 

juanvi
Get Out!

Member since 10/06

4463 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by Moehick

Can you set up a will online?



You can try Legalzoom.com

Posted 2/22/08 10:51 PM
 

laurabora
LIF Adult

Member since 4/07

2712 total posts

Name:
Laura

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Anyone have an estate lawyer they recommend for this, preferably in Nassau?

Posted 2/22/08 10:56 PM
 

juanvi
Get Out!

Member since 10/06

4463 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by laurabora

Anyone have an estate lawyer they recommend for this, preferably in Nassau?



Markotsis and Leiberman, 183 Broadway, Suite 210, Hicksville, NY 11801, Phone- 516 935-2330


Ira Schneider, 863 Jerusalem Avenue, North Merrick, NY 11566, Phone- 516 483-4112

Posted 2/22/08 11:10 PM
 

LightUpOurLife
Totally in love

Member since 8/06

12785 total posts

Name:
Bonnie-Jean

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

I don't have any children but I am guardian of my brothers five children in case anything happens to him and his wife. I believe four of my five siblings have wills.

Posted 2/22/08 11:22 PM
 

sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....

Member since 11/06

6686 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Does anyone know the costs involved so I can get an idea????

Posted 2/23/08 4:44 AM
 

pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice

Member since 5/05

9612 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

yes, we did our wills when the kids were 6 weeks old. it was SOOO hard to pick guardians for them.

Posted 2/23/08 7:34 AM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32461 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by dm24angel

We dont have a will, we should but we dont have any real assests so its not yet needed.

Its known my mom would have him first and his godparents next.



Donna, assets aren't the only reason to have a will. Regardless of whether it is "known"; the courts will decide where and to whom Noah will go and it may not be your mother. And your DH's godparents would hardly be considered as well because they aren't issues of blood.



I was going to say the same thing. Even without assets you want a say into what happens to Noah.

Posted 2/23/08 7:42 AM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32461 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by sometimesmommy

Does anyone know the costs involved so I can get an idea????



One Estate Lawyer told us she starts at $1000-$1500. I think she is on the higher side though. It also depends how much "work" the will be of course.

Posted 2/23/08 7:43 AM
 

Ali1
Mommy

Member since 8/05

3116 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

I advise to get professional help too. We did it in two visits (about 1 hour each), and it cost $600. And the lawyer brought up so many things that we would have never thought of.

For instance DH's cousin is our first choice to take custody of the babies, so we were going to name him and his wife, but the lawyer said you only should put your actual family member in the will (his cousin) in case there is a divorce. Would have never thought of it if I was doing that myself.

My brother and his wife are back up to them.

We also stated that if we should both die and whoever does get custody of them can reside in our house to raise the kids if they choose to do so and our estate should be used to raise the kids.

We also put in that regular visitation must be kept for the grandparents as well.

And finally we put together a living will so everyone in the family would know our wishes should something tragic happen to us.

Gave us real peace of mind and it really takes no time at all.

If anyone wants our lawyer please FM me and I will pass it on. He is great and in Great Neck.

ETA - Ours was pretty basic will planning, if you plan on splitting up every little thing you have it's going to cost more. I really didn't think that was necessary right now in our lives. All of our estate would go to our boys.

Message edited 2/23/2008 7:51:09 AM.

Posted 2/23/08 7:50 AM
 

Lillykat
going along for the ride...

Member since 5/05

16253 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by KateDevine

Diana, you shouldn't really pick your parents. I worked for an estate lawyer and you should try to pick someone in your generation.



I get it - and I totally understand - but we can't even figure out a contingent - never mind ever having to replace my parents as primary guardians.



This is the situation we are in - we ONLY have my parents - Dh's parents are divorced, not in good health and DH doesn't want to leave DD to them. BIL has 3 kids and DH felt that as much as he loves them - the three are tough enough that he fells that he can't leave DD to them. I'm an only child - my father was an only child- my only cousins are in Tx and can't really care for her. So it is my parents or no one.

Luckily they are both in good health and at least one will hopefully be around if something were to happen to us.

Posted 2/23/08 12:22 PM
 

sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....

Member since 11/06

6686 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you have a will - god forbid anything happens....

For me I am goign to do it. I think there would be a battle between the grandparents if anything happened to me.Chat Icon

Posted 2/24/08 8:35 AM
 
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