Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

I am having a hard time with this....I am unsure as to whether I should be teaching miki not to tattle-tale as that may backfire (I want her to tell me if someone is hurting her but not to tell me every single thing that her BFF does to "annoy" her)

I am not sure if she is old enough to know, this is what you tattle about, this is what you don't

am I making sense>?

Re: Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

I tell them that they should tell me the big stuff (if someone is doing something that is dangerous or really hurts their feelings) but not to tell me the little things.

I tell them that if it's something they did and wouldn't want me to know - like throwing a ball in the house - they shouldn't tell me if their sibling did it.

I've been trying to get them to work out little things like that on their own. Key word being trying.

Re: Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

I tell my students that unless it's hurting someone's feelings or someone's body... then I don't want to know.

ETA: So if someone took someone's seat... or cut someone in line... they don't tattle. If someone poked someone else with a pencil, they tell me.

Message edited 5/17/2010 3:20:48 PM.

Re: Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

Re: Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

I have to- Grace LOVES to tattle. The teacher loves it(she says she always knows what is going on) but I don't want her to be one of "those" kids.

Re: Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

I don't. I feel the same way you do. I want him to tell me because my niece and some other friends do things to him and then when he reacts they tell on him and he gets in trouble. I'm not saying DS is a saint, but I have witnessed it on a few occassions. I'm trying to teach him to tell me if someone does some thing to him. I guess I will deal with the tattling when he gets older, but right now he let's kids get away with doing whatever they want or he takes matters into his own hands and I don't want either of those behaviors.

Re: Do you tell your kids not to tattle - tale?

I would probably tell them not to tattle tale on silly things, ie Sam changed the channel, Sam looked at me funny, etc-or else you will be being told every little infraction all day long!

But something like hitting or dangerous I would want them to tell me, although i dont know how realistic that is with a young child.