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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
yes, there are bad mommies who should not be moms in the fisrt place.
Moms who abuse their child/ren emotionally, mentally and physically.
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Posted 3/17/08 11:58 AM  |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Yes there are many bad mothers and no I don't think they know they are bad. some women think being a bad mother is just beating , hurting and abusing children ,but I think there are other kinds of bad mothers,I know someone who is a SAH mom , she has a nanny from 9-5 after that nanny lives she has someone from 5-9(who puts them to bed) , and someone else on the weekends(all day Sat and Sun), so she doesn't spend any time with her children at all , I think that's being a bad mom ,too, even though if you ask her she thinks she is the world's best mom, b/c she buys them nice things.
Message edited 3/17/2008 12:03:46 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/08 12:02 PM |
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robin
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/07 495 total posts
Name:
robin
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
i seen a lady the other day,she was dressed,jeans,jacket,her child no jacket,barely had clothes on..
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| Posted 3/17/08 12:14 PM |
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Karebaby
Precious
Member since 10/06 5304 total posts
Name:
Karyn
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Karebaby
No I think there are bad mommies. In my opinion, a mother who cusses at her young children and pulls their hair in a grocery store in front of other people, is a bad mommy, and I saw that this weekend
I like how you wrote that bc its my point EXACTLY you said IMO...a mother who cusses at her children pulling their hair etc... I wonder if that mother had a clue she was being a bad mother. She probably ended the day with a great big hug and kiss and feels like she is the best mother in the world.
Yea, I wonder the same thing. I bet they don't even realize that they are bad mothers.
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| Posted 3/17/08 12:14 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Yep, I do believe there are bad mommies.
My father works with a woman who brings her son to work sometimes. He is 6 years old and he tells my father that he still sleeps in a crib.
Then the woman says that she is going to buy him a mattress this weekend and asked my dad for my dh's cell number. The beginning of the week she comes in with a new digital camera and my dad says, did you call Rob (my dh) for a mattress? No....she replies...and my dad says...but you can buy a digital camera...
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| Posted 3/17/08 12:31 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
double post
Message edited 3/17/2008 12:32:30 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/08 12:32 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by PrincessP
. I guess what I am really wondering is...do you think that a mom ever wants to hurt their child WITH intent.
Yes.
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| Posted 3/17/08 1:18 PM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by PrincessP
. I guess what I am really wondering is...do you think that a mom ever wants to hurt their child WITH intent.
Yes.
100% my mother in law gets off on hurting her kids..
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| Posted 3/17/08 1:19 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Yes. I definitely do. Although I think my definition may be more extreme than others.
I don't think having your child go out without a jacket makes you a bad mom. I don't think that yelling at your kid makes you a bad mom. I don't think cursing in front of your child makes you a bad mom. I don't think spanking your child makes you a bad mom.
Are those horrible things to do? Yes - and I am guilty of ever last one of them.
I think there are stressful circumstances that cause blow ups. I think as long as they are infrequent & not extreme, you are a human being. I think the jacket thing can be a mom giving into to a tantrum (ok, she's going from the house to a car).
It's the mom that doesn't care about her kids because she's too wrapped up in her love life. It's the mom that beats her children. It's the mom that emotionally abuses their child.
Sometimes I don't even think the mom that abandons their child is a bad person (provided its done with the safety of the child). I think motherhood is overwhelming for everyone - and if someone isn't able to pick themselves up & give it their best shot on an hourly basis, then maybe it's not for that person.
I can't pin down my definition of a bad mom because it's by circumstance. I feel like I'm not equipped to judge because I'm sure there are people that look at my kids & say "What is that kid wearing?" or "Did she just tell her child there is a spanking room in the restaurant?" & think I'm a bad mom too. The only people who's opinion count are my kids when they've reached adulthood & we've gotten out of the "You're the worst mom ever" because it's bedtime.
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| Posted 3/17/08 1:37 PM |
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Mommyof3
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/07 390 total posts
Name:
Traci
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Bad mommies...yes...I call her my sister.... 
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| Posted 3/17/08 2:04 PM |
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Addiesmommy
LIF Infant
Member since 9/07 264 total posts
Name:
Ellen
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Sadly, I do believe that there are mothers out there who do want to hurt their children. Anyone remember Susan Smith?
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| Posted 3/17/08 4:15 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Yes there are alot of mommies who shouldnt be mommies at all...
With that said, there are some that do not have the intension of harming there child but for whatever reason (lack of intelligence, common sense, too selfish etc..) Who are neglecting/harming their children everyday...
For instance- a mother who chooses to smoke in her car, with the windows rolled up - while her infant is in the backseat is causing direct harm/neglect- but is maybe to selfish to give up the nicotine to do it...
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| Posted 3/17/08 4:21 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
I definitely think evil takes all forms, including mothers. Some people are just selfish monsters who bring children into the world for attention, due to poor birth control choices/plain old lazy or to have a whipping post/abuse outlet. That is just the reality of the world we live in.
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| Posted 3/17/08 4:27 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Sadly, I think there are a lot of bad mothers AND bad fathers out there. Heck, today at the Post Office, the woman next to me was screaming at her son on her cell phone saying she was going to be break his (insert a few choice words here) legs when she gets home because he didn't complete some homework assignment. A good parent wouldn't talk to their kid like that.
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:13 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Yes. I definitely do. Although I think my definition may be more extreme than others.
I don't think having your child go out without a jacket makes you a bad mom. I don't think that yelling at your kid makes you a bad mom. I don't think cursing in front of your child makes you a bad mom. I don't think spanking your child makes you a bad mom.
Are those horrible things to do? Yes - and I am guilty of ever last one of them.
I think there are stressful circumstances that cause blow ups. I think as long as they are infrequent & not extreme, you are a human being. I think the jacket thing can be a mom giving into to a tantrum (ok, she's going from the house to a car).
It's the mom that doesn't care about her kids because she's too wrapped up in her love life. It's the mom that beats her children. It's the mom that emotionally abuses their child.
Sometimes I don't even think the mom that abandons their child is a bad person (provided its done with the safety of the child). I think motherhood is overwhelming for everyone - and if someone isn't able to pick themselves up & give it their best shot on an hourly basis, then maybe it's not for that person.
I can't pin down my definition of a bad mom because it's by circumstance. I feel like I'm not equipped to judge because I'm sure there are people that look at my kids & say "What is that kid wearing?" or "Did she just tell her child there is a spanking room in the restaurant?" & think I'm a bad mom too. The only people who's opinion count are my kids when they've reached adulthood & we've gotten out of the "You're the worst mom ever" because it's bedtime.
I agree 100% - as usual.
There are circumstances where I have done stupid and thoughtless things as a mother - yelling out of complete frustration, being inconsistant with punishments, waking my son up so late that his breakfast is a pop tart and a juice box on the way to school.. but I don't think I am a bad parent and I would hate to think that someone with limited vision into my life and the circumstances would judge my career as a mother based on those random and isolated moments.
I think the fact that I love my kids enough to recognize and change any of the less appealing things that I do makes me a pretty good mom overall. Not a perfect mom - but a loving mother who is willing to grow and sacrifice for the sake of my babies.
The bad moms? They are the ones who are consistantly doing things that are damaging or hurtful and who don't care enough to try to change. And I think they know it - they are just to selfish to care.
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:15 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by hbugal
As our children get older you learn to pick and choose your battles....
Example: That child in shorts could have had an argument with her mom that morning regarding her attire..BUT..Mom thought this. "
She did her HW. She ate her breakfast. She is ready on time for the bus. She never gets sick. She has a sweatshirt on so the top wont be cold. She isnt wearing too much makeup and her A$$ is covered....Although Mom is a tad concerned what other people think she let's her daughter go out that way. She knows that other moms with daughters that age will understand what she went through that morning...
I have a similar issue with my daughter wearing a proper coat to school. She hates to wear a bulky jacket and prefers to just wear a hoody or something similar. I try and get her to wear a warmer jacket but she is steadfast in her desire to not wear one. She says it's tough to get it to fit in her locker and she cant get anything out b/c of that darn coat...I look at it this way she goes from the garage to the bus (20 feet)..then from the bus to the school (50 feet)..and then the reverse on the way home...Not such a big deal..although I think every morning.."People must think Im a horrible mother for sending her out without a coat"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's funny you mention that, because I specifically don't put a coat on DD since it's too bulky for the carseat. She wears her hat, and has her blankets over her, but I'm sure people look at me like I'm crazy when I'm bringing her in the house, etc., without her coat on. If we are going to be walking through a big parking lot, then I put it on her to go outside, otherwise I don't! 
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:17 PM |
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jules
Changing everyday
Member since 1/08 2281 total posts
Name:
julia
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by PrincessP
or do you think its just how we judge others situations. Do you think a mother has a specific intent to do harm to their child? I mean yes, we can say if a mother sends her child out in 50 degree weather it is too cold but who is to say that she thinks its too cold. I am a SW and have a client whose mother thinks its okay to be out in shorts in 50 degree weather and fights it to the end. Do ya think she wakes up and says "lets see how I can get my son sick". Any thoughts?
of course there are BAD mothers. Then are (unfortunately) lots of them. IE Susan Smith or Diane Downs.
But yes of course there are sadly a bunch of other moms that are considered "bad" by our society because they do things our of desperation and poverty and bad situations that lead to bad parenting. In my opinion that is a environmental/societal situation that exists.
And then there are just the people that we deem dumb idiots. Yes thos are the moms we judge. The everyday mom that we see that "we would never be like" or "do what they do".
I think all three situations exist
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:20 PM |
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jules
Changing everyday
Member since 1/08 2281 total posts
Name:
julia
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by Summerrluvv
It's funny you mention that, because I specifically don't put a coat on DD since it's too bulky for the carseat. She wears her hat, and has her blankets over her, but I'm sure people look at me like I'm crazy when I'm bringing her in the house, etc., without her coat on. If we are going to be walking through a big parking lot, then I put it on her to go outside, otherwise I don't!
DITTO. My son is easily sweats and to get to work is a long car ride and i do not want my DS sitting in sweat the whole time
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:22 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
mom-to-be here...
of course there are bad mommies.
being a good mommy is VERY difficult. Most mom's work extremely hard to be a good mom. In society there are always those individuals (emotionally / mentally unbalanced, drug problems, acking good judgement, abuse in the home,or simply selfish and lacking a motherly instinct) that fall short.
The above posters example of a mom who is pulling her childs hair and cursing at her is the perfect example. Frequently, bad mommies end up dealing with child protective services.... either due to child neglect or abuse. If that mom feels comfortable doing that in public, I don't want to think how she would reprimand her child in private.
those severe examples are obvious, but the much-more-common boarderline cases of questionable judgement (letting a child wear shorts in early spring) is much more difficult to say that it is due to bad parenting IMO.
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:33 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by pmpkn087
Yes, I think there ARE bad moms out there. Not every woman has that "motherly instinct."
I agree 100%
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| Posted 3/17/08 5:37 PM |
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KristinasMama
How did she turn 2 so quickly?
Member since 10/07 8257 total posts
Name:
Blessed Mama of Kristina Elena
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Yes there are bad mothers out there.... One of my cousins is definitely one of them....
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| Posted 3/17/08 6:34 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
yes...I have zero respect for any mom who doesn't leave a situation where the child is being abused by the father.
Or a situation where she takes someone else's word over her child.
I know a few families that this happened in, the damage done to the children is horrible...
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| Posted 3/17/08 6:41 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Yes I do.
MIL is one, but she is mentally ill. I honestly believe that. She was molested as a child and actually hates men. She hates her son, and will hate her grandsons because she didn't do anything about it She held my husband down once when he was 12 and getting taller than her and punched him over and over until he admitted she was the one still in charge.
But I disagree about the coat example unless the child is out in the snow for an extended period of time.
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| Posted 3/17/08 7:26 PM |
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
Posted by KateDevine
Yes I do.
MIL is one, but she is mentally ill. I honestly believe that. She was molested as a child and actually hates men. She hates her son, and will hate her grandsons because she didn't do anything about it She held my husband down once when he was 12 and getting taller than her and punched him over and over until he admitted she was the one still in charge.
But I disagree about the coat example unless the child is out in the snow for an extended period of time.
So weird - my mom had that feeling towards girls because something definitely happened to her although she would never admit it - when I began developing was when she got a lot worse to me...
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| Posted 3/17/08 8:05 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Do you think there REALLY are Bad mommies?
I think there are plenty of bad mothers out there, unfortunately, and plenty of them know that they are inadequate parents, they either just don't care or don't know how to do anything else.
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| Posted 3/17/08 8:13 PM |
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