| Posted By |
Message |
KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
|
do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
after having 1?
Most moms of 2+ say more you think about it more you get nervous, anxious and maybe even scared. So if you are going to have another child just go ahead and do it, don't think too much.
Do you think this is true?
We really would LOVE to have another child soon, but I just don't think we'll ever be really "ready", we keep talking and discussing and then the conversations turns into "is it going to be too much?", " can we handle 2 kids?" ,how will we do it?" , "can we afford another child?".....
I'm just wondering if other parents of more than 1 child went through the same thing.
So how did you finally decide to go ahead and just do it?
Message edited 3/22/2011 9:45:53 PM.
|
Posted 3/22/11 9:34 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
When DD was about 7 months old, we said "hey, this isnt so bad"...( forgetting all the sleepless nights, the crying, the puking, etc..)
We knew we wanted another so said "Hey lets do it", never expecting to get pregnant a month later. For us, it was like, look-we are already in the mode...diapers, formula, no soical life etc..mine as well get it over with. Plus, we did want them close in age. So I think we were "Ready".
|
| Posted 3/22/11 9:38 AM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
We made the decision ahead of time that we wanted kids close together & stuck to that plan (although they are 22 months apart, we wanted them closer).
We wondered about how we would afford it, how it would impact our 1st. In the end, I think having a sibling - the person who my child can turn to & say "you know how mom is crazy" & have them get it, was what I wanted most.
I don't think either of us were prepared for our first or our second. I still smile when I think about how I announced my pregnancy, laughing & saying "We are so not qualified to be parents." We're winging it & it works.
I know you can plan, you can prep, but just like with the first, you can never truly prepare.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 9:48 AM |
| |
|
hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
i agree. i grew up with an older brother and it was fun.
to this day when we all get together for a family dinner we will recant jokes about a tv show we used watch or poke fun at mom together.. it is nice.
and we both have 2 kids ( well i have one toddler and one on the way)
now our kids get to play with eachother.
i think maybe it is a little challenging in the beginning but then it gets eaiser again.- just like when your dd was a baby.
think about the fun family memories you will have together as your family expands..
i like the idea that my kids will have eachother...
this also brings to mind my bestfriend who is an only child. her father passed away about 10 years ago and her mother just passed away last year.
she is an only child. when her mother was ill from cancer, my bf had no one else to rely on. poor thing was paying her mother's bills, running around back and forth to hospitals, cleaning up after her mother who had a few bathroom accidents. it was a lot of stress on her.
if she had a sibling, i am sure it would have been nice to split some of the responsibilities..
but anyhow, i say have the 2nd! you dont want to regret not doing it...
and once the baby is here, i think you will find away to make things work.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 10:21 AM |
| |
|
LiveAgain
Listen close....
Member since 8/07 3545 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
We always knew we wanted a lot of kids so we didn't wait with TTC after DD, however due to quite a few complications we weren't blessed with #2 until almost 3 years of trying.
I don't think your ever REALLY ready for another one, for me adjusting to having 2 is hard. I'm dying for nice weather so I can get out of the house.
I am glad that we didn't end up having them close in age b.c I think I would have ended up in the loony bin....lol
I def agree with the don't think about it and just do it, its an adjustment but it's so worth it!!
|
| Posted 3/22/11 12:58 PM |
| |
|
KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
I always wanted to have 2 kids or maybe 3. So now we have to decide what to do and get with it , DD is already 3.5, I don't want them to be too far apart, plus I'm not getting any younger 
|
| Posted 3/22/11 8:17 PM |
| |
|
Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
I never felt ready, I just knew that I wanted two, and that I wanted them to be somewhat close in age, so we just went ahead and hoped we'd figure it all out along the way.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 8:25 PM |
| |
|
itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
I waited until I was pretty much 100% ready b/f trying for #2. DS was 19 mos. It took that long  But, I got pg on the first try and they are 28 mos apart and it is perfect for us. Now, I always wanted 3. However, I am still not ready (DD is 13.5 mos) - I'm not sure if I ever will be though
Message edited 3/22/2011 8:32:37 PM.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 8:32 PM |
| |
|
carissa1643
I LOVE my sons! :)
Member since 5/09 5283 total posts
Name:
Carissa
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
Idk if I'll ever feel really ready. When DS was around 6m I said ok around his 1st birthday. That came and went then I said spring we'll try. Now spring is here and I was thinking summer. Now I'm thinking the end of summer into fall. I think I'm waiting for him to be more independent and when the time gets here when I wanted to TTC I realize he's still a baby to me. I'm really thinking fall now though. Hopefully I'll feel more ready at that time.
ETA: I always wanted 3 or 4. We'll see how that goes though...
Message edited 3/22/2011 8:34:23 PM.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 8:33 PM |
| |
|
Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
I am 8+ months pregnant and we have this conversation all the time!
DS is 3yo. I always knew I wanted 2 kids. I never even thought of having #2 until DS was nearly 2yo. Then DH wasnt quite there and I sill felt no rush. When he was 2.5yo, I felt like its time. Now or never. The farther I got from baby hood the less I felt like going back!
I am nervous about getting 2 of of the house to get DS to school, or taking DS and the baby to the dr, or getting ready for events etc. But I know that it will be worth it. I love having siblings, DH is close to his as well. I want that for DS. I want him to share his childhood with someone and create memories together.
I figure I was terrified with having #1 and how it would change our lives, how we would handle it, etc....but 3 years later we are all still standing so I think we can do it again!
I think its like anything else, if you think too hard you can always come up with a reason no to do it, or why to wait but in the end if its want you want you will make it work.
GL!
|
| Posted 3/22/11 9:07 PM |
| |
|
Twstdvenus1
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/10 777 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is in school and I'm full of questions this morning)
There is 4 years and 10 months between DD1 and DD2....
I kept putting DH off on having number 2. I was overthinking EVERYTHING!!!
Just like you, I kept asking all those same questions and truth be told...even when I finally gave in on TTC #2 I was still asking myself a million questions. I got my BFP one month after stopping birth control AND EVEN THEN I was still questioning if it was the right thing at that time in our life.
You know what....I'm glad I kept putting DH off. For me its the perfect age difference. DD1 is in school and since i'm a SAHM I get to focus my attention on DD2.
Those questions will always be there IMO....
You have to do what you feel in your heart is right for you....
|
| Posted 3/22/11 9:49 PM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
We weren't ready for number 2 and we sure as heck aren't ready for number 3-but here we are
If you think too hard about it, there are 1001 reasons you could wait. But they don't match up to having the family you really want.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 9:54 PM |
| |
|
LAMGAJ28
.
Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
I don't think you are ever ready. I must tell you that I felt that it was an adjustment in terms of going to the stores and bringing more things with you when you go out. But remember that's only until they start walking and then things get better and you have the family you want.
Sending you lots and lots  whenever you start trying for your little one.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 9:57 PM |
| |
|
LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
I am kind of in the same place. We know we definitely want another one and I always thought I'd like them to be about 2 years apart. Now that DS is 1, we've been talking about when we want to TTC #2, but we definitely wonder if we're ready, if DS will lose out on things, if we won't have enough time for DS, about how hard it will be to get out of the house, etc etc etc.
But we do want #2 so I am thinking we'll just have to get over all the worries at some point.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 10:01 PM |
| |
|
MrsJakob
Naterade is Thirstade!
Member since 6/10 3002 total posts
Name:
Danielle
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
i like the idea that my kids will have eachother...
this also brings to mind my bestfriend who is an only child. her father passed away about 10 years ago and her mother just passed away last year.
she is an only child. when her mother was ill from cancer, my bf had no one else to rely on. poor thing was paying her mother's bills, running around back and forth to hospitals, cleaning up after her mother who had a few bathroom accidents. it was a lot of stress on her.
if she had a sibling, i am sure it would have been nice to split some of the responsibilities..
This is one of the main reasons why there is not a doubt in my mind that we will have another child.
I can tell you from experience that this is the hardest thing to endure by yourself. I never want my child to go through this.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 10:53 PM |
| |
|
KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
Posted by MrsJakob
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
i like the idea that my kids will have eachother...
this also brings to mind my bestfriend who is an only child. her father passed away about 10 years ago and her mother just passed away last year.
she is an only child. when her mother was ill from cancer, my bf had no one else to rely on. poor thing was paying her mother's bills, running around back and forth to hospitals, cleaning up after her mother who had a few bathroom accidents. it was a lot of stress on her.
if she had a sibling, i am sure it would have been nice to split some of the responsibilities..
This is one of the main reasons why there is not a doubt in my mind that we will have another child.
I can tell you from experience that this is the hardest thing to endure by yourself. I never want my child to go through this.
yes, one of the reasons why we would like another child is bc we want DD to have a sibling. I feel like when DH and I are gone she will be all alone, yes DH has a big family here and and so do I , but my family is overseas, she has cousins, but I feel like no one can really replace a sister or a brother. I guess I feel this way bc I grew up with siblings and there are no only children in my family, as a matter of fact everyone has 2,3 and more kids  ( in my culture it's not common for parents to have just one child , usually its 2-3+)
I know it will be VERY hard in the beginning, we don't really have much help and it was soooo hard with DD , she wasn't the easiest baby, first 6 months were terrible and she barely slept any
But I keep telling myself that it will get better as the kids get older, plus DD will be in school full time in couple of years, so that will help a lot. I'll have to quit my PT job and stay home full time again.
Oh boy, who knew it was going to be this hard to decide 
Thanks so much for all your responses, it definitely helps a lot reading other mom's experiences and opinions.
Message edited 3/23/2011 8:07:57 AM.
|
| Posted 3/23/11 8:06 AM |
| |
|
maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
ugh my heart says YES but my head says NO not yet...
sometimes i think about it and we talk about trying in the winter but I dont have that overwhelming itch yet. then there are the times that I think maybe we should be 1 and done but then i get sad, thinking i will never be pregnant again, never have a newborn again.
i dont know. i guess when we are ready, we will just know it!
|
| Posted 3/23/11 8:21 AM |
| |
|
pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
Posted by Calla
I never felt ready, I just knew that I wanted two, and that I wanted them to be somewhat close in age, so we just went ahead and hoped we'd figure it all out along the way.
This is is me!
|
| Posted 3/23/11 8:30 AM |
| |
|
sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
|
Re: do you think we are REALLY ever ready for having another child (lol , DD is at school and I'm full of questions this morning)
Posted by BethanyLynn
When DD was about 7 months old, we said "hey, this isnt so bad"...( forgetting all the sleepless nights, the crying, the puking, etc..)
We knew we wanted another so said "Hey lets do it", never expecting to get pregnant a month later. For us, it was like, look-we are already in the mode...diapers, formula, no soical life etc..mine as well get it over with. Plus, we did want them close in age. So I think we were "Ready".
haha,this is exactly what we did.
Honestly, I thought it was going to be soo hard, that it is actually easier than I expected.
I scared myself soo much. that it seems easy now. LOL
I couldn't imagine taking care of 2 at the time and how I would manage it. You just roll with the punches. Now I cant imagine just having 1 to take care of.
|
| Posted 3/23/11 9:07 AM |
| |
|
