don't know what to do to help my family : long post

My sister is 25 and still lives with my mom and my grandfather. My mom and dad got divorced when I was little so we moved in with my grandparents with my mom and have lived there every since (until I got married 2 years ago). My mom was a Catholic school teacher for almost 20 years but because of the ridiculously low salary and being a single woman she had to make a career change to support herself. She likes her new job but her hours are long and the past year has been a big adjustment. She is also has started dating again in the past 2 years which is great but she is now a busy lady between working longer hours and having more of a social life. My sister is also extremely busy as she teaches full time, goes to grad school and teaches private music lessons. The problem is that my grandfather is 85 and is becoming very feeble and needs a lot of help. My mom and sister just can't be there for him the way he needs them to and it's just stressing everyone out. So my mom and sister fight a lot about responsibilities involving my grandfather and also keeping up the house. There are also money issues...being that my Mom really doesn't have any still and same goes for my sister. They are both trying to shovel themselves out of debt and keep up with new bills/expenses. I just feel bad because now that I'm not living at home there is only so much I can do to help. I stop by to visit my grandfather once a week with the baby just to keep him company and see how he is. I want to help but I can't just give them money because that is not solving anything. DH and I also have DD now and we have to support her and take care of our own home. I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm venting and looking for some advice. Thanks!

Re: don't know what to do to help my family : long post

Honestly it sounds like you are doing the best you can. You have a family of your own to worry about now and they have to come first.
You mom and sister still there and by doing so they need to figure out the schedule and finances, it's not your responsibility to pick up the slack.
I'm sure you grandfather loves your visits with the baby.

Re: don't know what to do to help my family : long post

Is your grandfather on Medicare/Medicaid? You can get home care for him. We got help with my grandmother. We never left them alone with her but they helped with some of the harder stuff. She did not speak English so they weren't much companionship for her but I bet he wouldn't mind someone new to talk to. Good Luck!

Re: don't know what to do to help my family : long post

It is important to get in touch with a social worker. Your grandfather worked all of his life and in entitled to certain services.

Also, your local Senior Citizen Center will also have information on this.

Good Luck! It is hard to take care of an elderly parent/grandparent.