dont want to be here

but i am.
i had a miscarriage last week.

at my 9 week appointment there was no longer a heartbeat that they saw at 8 weeks.
i had a chem preg in june and now this. i had the d&c on friday and now we are waiting for genetic tets results. i see dr braverman and was told the soonest we can try again is two months.

i feel lost.

i have some questions for you if you dont mind.

1. i am not bleeding at all since the surgery. is this normal?

2. i still have some preg symptoms..did you and if so, for how long after?

3. been having insane headaches and migraines for the last 5 days...did you? nothing is helping.

4. how do you try again? i was a wreck wreck...adn then finally at our 8 week appt i started to breathe kwim? then boom 9 weeks... i no heartbeat.
how will i ever ever be joyous if i do ger preg again?

5. i am not crying every day anymore? why? am i just numb?

i dont know if any of these questions make sense. i am not getting younger and i feel very very concerned that i will never be able to carry a healthly baby. they think the mc was a genetic issue since my eggs are so bad.

just looking for guidance ...i wish none of us needed to be here....

Message edited 3/17/2011 10:21:26 PM.

Re: dont want to be here

I don't really have answers to your questions as I had a natural m/c at a much earlier time. i just wanted to send you many and tell you that I am so sorry for your loss.

Re: dont want to be here

I'm so sorry!!
I'm having a natural m/c so I've been bleeding for a little over a week-so I'm no help there.
But I am having some massive headaches too-advil is helping a little.
I'm so sorry again

Re: dont want to be here

Hey…just wanted to send you some hugs and say I am so sorry you are going through this. I did not hear the heatbeat at my sono but can only imagine how much pain you must be in

So my situation is not exactly like yours, my loss was at 5.5 weeks but not 100% confirmed until 7 weeks and my body held on for another week after that, ughh. I just had a D&C to finish the job. Anyway I thought I would try to answer some questions for you, even though I am not an expert.


1. i am not bleeding at all since the surgery. is this normal? - I am not bleeding either. I have had a few light pinkist spots but that is it. I am 2 days post d&C.

2. i still have some preg symptoms..did you and if so, for how long after? My boobs are still a little sore but that was my only pregnancy sympton. I have heard it can take 2-4 weeks for your levels to drop and for the symptons to go away.

3. been having insane headaches and migraines for the last 5 days...did you? nothing is helping. - I havent had any headaches. Did they prescibe you 800mg ibprofen or anything? Can you call the dr. and tell them what is going on and see what they suggest? Are you drinking alot of fluids? You may be dehydrated from the anethesia

4. how do you try again? i was a wreck wreck...adn then finally at our 8 week appt i started to breathe kwim? then boom 9 weeks... i no heartbeat. - Again my situation is different then yours but I am still so scared to try again. I have heard that only time will heal my heart. For some people it is 1-2 months and some people longer. All I know is what everyone has told me and many were eager to start TTC again…this was after the D&C and after they got AF again..by then it is a full month and gives you time to heal. But if you need more time, then definitely take it.

how will i ever ever be joyous if i do ger preg again? - YES you will be joyous. I dont know from experience but I know what others have told me who are pregnant now after miscarriage or have a baby. One of my friends made me cry the other night…she had 2 miscarriages and now she has a 1.5 year old and another baby on the way. She said she looks at her son and she just knows he was meant to be her baby. And she actually feels so guilty for all the crying she did during her miscarriages bc she has such a beautiful son now who is so perfect and she could not have asked for more than that. Awww I still get weepy when I retype this!

5. i am not crying every day anymore? why? am i just numb? - I cry on and off, I find I cry when I am alone or when I get a thought in my head about something. Or last night I was looking at my sisters latest sonogram pictures she sent of her baby and I got sad and felt so empty. But other than that I am trying to be upbeat and positive and that feels good. I cannot sit here and cry all day and want to just feel normal again. I want the old me back…I am trying to pull her out of hiding. I have been surrounded by my family for the last 3-4 days and that has been great and helped me to not be sad at all.

Anyway hang in there hun and FM me if you want to chat. Things WILL get better and YOU will be a mommy. I do believe that for you and me and everyone!

Re: dont want to be here

You know my situations was different but I'll do my best to help here!

1. i am not bleeding at all since the surgery. is this normal?

I bled initially.. then it was on and off for like 2 1/2 weeks. I heard it's normal for it to go away and come back and that's its only really cause for concern if you bleed through a pad.

2. i still have some preg symptoms..did you and if so, for how long after?

I didn't have pregnancy symptoms after but I was in my 2nd tri and wasn't experiencing nausea.. etc anyway. However, my milk did come in and that was VERY uncomfortable!

3. been having insane headaches and migraines for the last 5 days...did you? nothing is helping.

Nope. I assume it's from the hormone drop though and the stress.

4. how do you try again? i was a wreck wreck...adn then finally at our 8 week appt i started to breathe kwim? then boom 9 weeks... i no heartbeat.
how will i ever ever be joyous if i do ger preg again?


I asked myself this a lot when it first happened........ how will I be able to enjoy a pregnancy..... Well I am determined to enjoy my pregnancy like every woman is entitled to. I will probably be a wreck until 12wks just like most people are since that point is so crucial, but even though I had a loss later on, I refuse to allow myself to go crazy until then. The sad reality is, a loss can happen at ANY point in a pregnancy and then once the baby is born you have a different type of worry. I plan on not overly thinking about what may or may not happen and hoping for the best! That's my goal.

5. i am not crying every day anymore? why? am i just numb?

Yes. There was a time after my D&E where I thought there had to be something wrong with me because I wasn't crying. There's just so much your body could handle at once.

Re: dont want to be here

Hi,

I went through this in December. At 6.5 weeks no h/b was detected so I had a D&C.

We are all here for you...

To answer your questions:

1. i am not bleeding at all since the surgery. is this normal?

I didn't bleed much, just a little spotting. I don't think bleeding is required but you should get a period in 4-6 weeks.

2. i still have some preg symptoms..did you and if so, for how long after?

Yes! My beta took almost 2 months to go down. I had symptoms until my beta was below 5.

3. been having insane headaches and migraines for the last 5 days...did you? nothing is helping.

I am a migraine sufferer but I don't remember the frequency being higher when i m/c'ed. It could be stress or hormones.

4. how do you try again? i was a wreck wreck...adn then finally at our 8 week appt i started to breathe kwim? then boom 9 weeks... i no heartbeat.
how will i ever ever be joyous if i do ger preg again?

I was a wreck basically up until I got my bfp (was lucky enough to get it on the first cycle we started trying again). I am still worried that even though we saw a heartbeat it could stop. Mourning gets easier but worrying never does.

5. i am not crying every day anymore? why? am i just numb?

Everyone copes differently. I cried for two weeks straight after we got the bad news and then sporadically thereafter (I couldn't even go to the mall because every time I saw a baby I would cry).

Feel free to FM me if you have questions/want to talk.

Re: dont want to be here

i just want to say that i love you girls!

i hate that we are all here....but i honestly feel like i have a "family" here and i could not handle this alone.


i am feeling a tiny bit better hormonally not as pg feeling as i was earlier this week.

i am glad my hubby and i are going to therapy tomorrow to work on some things....

i want to give big warm huggies to you all and thank you from my heart for caring xoxoxoxo

Re: dont want to be here

Re: dont want to be here

Posted by keepingsecrets

Posted by prunepie

i just want to say that i love you girls!

i hate that we are all here....but i honestly feel like i have a "family" here and i could not handle this alone.


i am feeling a tiny bit better hormonally not as pg feeling as i was earlier this week.

i am glad my hubby and i are going to therapy tomorrow to work on some things....

i want to give big warm huggies to you all and thank you from my heart for caring xoxoxoxo

i'm late to this thread and the other girls already gave such good answers that i just want to say again how sorry i am for your loss i'm glad you and your hubby are going to therapy. therapy has helped me in such a huge way through all of my losses so i'm a big advocate of talking to somebody. i hope it goes well for you guys. you are in my thoughts

Re: dont want to be here

Re: dont want to be here

Everyone addressed our questions so I won't answer those right now. But I did want you to know that EVERY traditional Dr says miscarriages are either chromosomal(what you referred to) or bad luck. If this is your first chances are you'll have a healthy pregnancy. if not, there are Dr's that can help you.

Re: dont want to be here

I don't want to be here either. If you want to chat feel free to FM me. I am not having the easiest time dealing with things either. Hang in there.

Re: dont want to be here

Posted by prunepie

but i am.
i had a miscarriage last week.

at my 9 week appointment there was no longer a heartbeat that they saw at 8 weeks.
i had a chem preg in june and now this. i had the d&c on friday and now we are waiting for genetic tets results. i see dr braverman and was told the soonest we can try again is two months.

i feel lost.

i have some questions for you if you dont mind.

1. i am not bleeding at all since the surgery. is this normal?

2. i still have some preg symptoms..did you and if so, for how long after?

3. been having insane headaches and migraines for the last 5 days...did you? nothing is helping.

4. how do you try again? i was a wreck wreck...adn then finally at our 8 week appt i started to breathe kwim? then boom 9 weeks... i no heartbeat.
how will i ever ever be joyous if i do ger preg again?

5. i am not crying every day anymore? why? am i just numb?

i dont know if any of these questions make sense. i am not getting younger and i feel very very concerned that i will never be able to carry a healthly baby. they think the mc was a genetic issue since my eggs are so bad.

just looking for guidance ...i wish none of us needed to be here....

Message edited 3/21/2011 8:31:14 PM.

Re: dont want to be here

to you all!!!!