dreading this weekend

First its my SILS baby shower ( her oppps baby BTW) and Its me , my MIL and other SIL throwing it. I was very involved in the begging , but it got very rough on me, so I stepped back.

First my MIL asks me to take her to babiesrus tommorow night for shopping ( it was hard enough when I went with DH) and I feel bad saying no, she never asks me for anything ( and she doesnt drive).

Then I just am literally terrified of crying on Sunday. Im so scared I will break down.

Any suggestions on how to be happy for her and not think about me?

I am happy for them , of course, but being face to face with it all is just so damn hard.

Re: dreading this weekend

Are drugs an option?

Seriously, sometimes all that gets me through a tough situation without crying is knowing I can cry as hard and as long as I want when I get home.

Hang in there!!

Re: dreading this weekend

If its to hard then you leave. Family should understand.

I walked out on my Family Christmas Party after being there for 20 min because I couldn't take the kids opening their gifts, the holiday cheer, etc.

Do what you have to!

Re: dreading this weekend

This summer I have had 4 babies born to good friends! Talk about crying....in the end, I just think, OMG, when its my time, I am so going to love this! Its Payback!

And if you need to excuse yourself and cry in the bathroom, then do that!

If you can drink, do that too!

All the best! Hang tight!

Re: dreading this weekend

Oh Donna...I know this is going to be so hard for you...but, do what you can and THAT'S IT.

Don't force yourself...if you can't take being at the party...then leave or at least take a walk outside and cry if you have to.

I'll be thinking about you and hope this weekend FLYS by!!!

Re: dreading this weekend

The only thing I could think of is lots of alcohol- will there be punch at this thing? I am really not even kidding.

Also is your babysrus in a mall where you could drop her off and go buy yourself a little treat? If I were you I would take her there since she can't drive but there is no way I would enter that store. The shower is going to be hard enough.

I am so sorry you have to go through this I wish I could go for you.

Message edited 7/28/2006 11:45:13 AM.

Re: dreading this weekend

Donna,

I'm sorry. All of my friends are passed this stage and had them when I was horribly single.

MIL did have a baby shower for the DIL of one of her colleagues a few weeks ago. This man's son got married last fall (a lot younger than us and so doesn't have his act together in life) and judging by my calculations is having a honeymoon baby. She tried to keep it from me but we had a family function that day and FIL said "Oh, we can't go together because F has Bill M's DIL's shower before the BBQ". I thought my MIL was going to rip his head off.

I agree with the above. Can you drive her there and make an excuse to drop her off and run into another store?

I hate even having to be in the same parking lot as a BRU right now. I deliberately drive several miles out of the way to go to a different Target. I don't think I could attend a baby shower. I skipped the only one they had at work this year.

Re: dreading this weekend

My solution is to drink heavily

Re: dreading this weekend

Am I the only one that gets weepier when I drink??

That's like the worst thing for me to do when I'm already feeling blue. Drinking just makes me cry!!

Re: dreading this weekend

Funny, I'm going to a shower tomorrow, and I know how you feel. I didn't even go to bru for the gift, I went to Target so that I didn't see baby stuff from end to end (pretty pathetic, huh).

I'm just going to suck it up, and PRAY HARD that I don't get upset in from of people. Can't even cry in the car, because I'll be with my parents.

I guess the only advice I can give is to just try hard to be happy for this person. When at the party, block it out, think of errands you'll have to run, things you need to get done next week...or talk to the person next to you about anything other than babies.

I got it bad... I come from a large hispanic family and EVERYONE and their mother is going to be asking me, when, oh when is my 37 year old azz going to get pg. Little do they know things aren't that easy.

Sorry if I blabbed or used your post for my own rant...

Re: dreading this weekend

I'm sorry Donna, any way you can just go for a little while and leave before gifts are open?

Re: dreading this weekend

I'm sorry Donna. I hope it goes by fast. Try and keep yourself busy with conversations...preferablly over by the punch bowl.

If you have to go to BRU and there is no other place to shop...stay in the car and read.

I know you will have your turn... and I hope and pray it comes soon.

Re: dreading this weekend

I'm sorry Donna! Don't drink if you are a weeper. Alcohol tends to amplifies your emotions. I would leave early if you feel like you are going to get emotional. But, you might surprise yourself and be okay. I recently had to go buy a GC for a friend of the family last week. I thought I was going to be in tears but I was okay and ended up making her this beautiful baby basket. Go Figure.

Ill pray that you wont have an emotional breakdown.

Re: dreading this weekend

UGH! Well I told DH I cant take my MIL. Its too rough. I called SIL and said Can you take MIL to BAbies R us and I broke down while talking to her. She says yes of course. Have you tried talking to someone about all this stuff ( depressed, etc)...and then I say Im sorry I didnt do that much for SIL for her shower and stuff and she says oh its ok, I knew youwould have a breakdown.

Um...ewwwww

This is why I dont want to talk to anyone about it!!!!!

DH was dropping me at her house and I was going with her and MIL to help set up etc. BUT I think I will use the fact my back is so bad these days ( Im suppossed to be resting, laying flat as often as possible) as an excuse to drive myself there.

I know Im gonna come off as rude, thats how they will see if, but I dotn care. I just want this weekend OVER WITH.

THanks everyone for all you advice. I got some good advice and I knew I could ocunt on you ladies!

Re: dreading this weekend

Posted by LIBOUND

Funny, I'm going to a shower tomorrow, and I know how you feel. I didn't even go to bru for the gift, I went to Target so that I didn't see baby stuff from end to end (pretty pathetic, huh).

I'm just going to suck it up, and PRAY HARD that I don't get upset in from of people. Can't even cry in the car, because I'll be with my parents.

I guess the only advice I can give is to just try hard to be happy for this person. When at the party, block it out, think of errands you'll have to run, things you need to get done next week...or talk to the person next to you about anything other than babies.

I got it bad... I come from a large hispanic family and EVERYONE and their mother is going to be asking me, when, oh when is my 37 year old azz going to get pg. Little do they know things aren't that easy.

Sorry if I blabbed or used your post for my own rant...

Re: dreading this weekend

Who cares what they think??? They have no idea how you are feeling and never could. Worry about you first- they will be fine.

Re: dreading this weekend

Posted by CkGm

Who cares what they think??? They have no idea how you are feeling and never could. Worry about you first- they will be fine.

Message edited 7/28/2006 4:43:29 PM.

Re: dreading this weekend

do what you have to do. Take care of yourself first!!!!!

Re: dreading this weekend

Re: dreading this weekend

It's 10:15

Can I start Drinking now??

Re: dreading this weekend

ABSOLUTELY!!!! AND HAVE ONE FOR ME!

Re: dreading this weekend

good luck, donna!

Re: dreading this weekend

And its OVER!

It was easier then I expected. My SIL was so appreciate of everything, that it made thinsg easier.

I had one moment when she was opening her gifts I thought I was gonna crack, but I couldnt see an easy out, or a way to get up and walk away at that second, so I just fought through it and am glad its over.

thanks for all the support and advice you all gave me!

Re: dreading this weekend

that which doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Go you!!!!!

Re: dreading this weekend

Good for you Donna!