Etiquette?

What is the proper etiquette in these scenarios?

1. Does/Should the host give the leftover food they cooked to the guests to bring home or do they keep it?

2. If a guest brings edible GIFTS for the host (exchanged during gift giving) -like wine or beer or desserts, etc.- should they be served at that party?

3. If a guest brings food, do/should they take their leftovers home or should they leave it for the host?






OK- So here is my story. I had a holiday party for my brothers and sister-in-laws. I made a ton of food, and as usual, I offered to let them take leftovers home with them. However, what kind of bothered me, is that during gift-giving, the alcohol and dessert they "gifted" us, was forced to be served and become a shared gift- instead of being enjoyed on my own terms. Also, I had served so much of my own desserts, it was even mentioned that the gift was unnecessary to party. Then, since there was leftovers, the said guests asked to take the edible gifts back home with them. So essentially, I was left with nothing. It felt kind of funny. Am I wrong for feeling a little let down by this? DH said, if SIL wanted/asked to take the rest of the cookies back with her, we should just do it and of course, I did do that... but I just don't understand why they brought something with the intention of keeping it themselves? We didn't serve or use any of their edible gifts that we gave them and even if we did open those, I wouldn't have asked them to leave their leftovers at our house...

Re: Etiquette?

1) As the host, you don't HAVE to offer leftovers to take home but I generally do just because I tend to over cook for parties and have a ton left.

2) No way should an edible gift be expected to be put out at dessert. It was a gift so it should've been enjoyed at your leisure, not as part of the party. What was the point of giving you the gift if they were all going to eat it??!!

3) It depends. Generally, when I bring main meal food anywhere (friends or family) there tends to be sooooo much food that after everyone bags up some leftovers the host usually tells us to take home what's left of what we bought. Desserts, however, I usually always leave behind.

Personally, I think what they did at your party was wrong......and tacky. Even though they gave you an edible gift there should've been NO expectation on their part to get to eat it. It wasn't brought over by them as party food for everyone, it was a GIFT to you. They should have never even thought to ask you to put that out for the enjoyment of everyone. I would be annoyed too.

Re: Etiquette?

I agree with PP.

I also recall there was a very lengthy post a few weeks ago asking about a similar thing and LIF etiquette felt that the persons doing what you described were 100% in the wrong.

Re: Etiquette?

My 2 cents...

1. Only if the host insists or offers. Never ask to take food home.

2) Appropriate etiquette is to not expect to drink your bottle with dinner. It is a gift and chances are the host already planned the wine, so it is insulting if a guest expects their gift to be opened.

3) ssme as #1... Never should a guest take a gift they brought home

Re: Etiquette?

OK, here's my two cents ....


1. Does/Should the host give the leftover food they cooked to the guests to bring home or do they keep it?

I think it's nice to offer. I like to buy new Tupperware and give it to my guests to take home and keep. I always offer, never insist.

2. If a guest brings edible GIFTS for the host (exchanged during gift giving) -like wine or beer or desserts, etc.- should they be served at that party?

YES!!! I have brought wine and desserts to holidays and ALWAYS thought it was strange when they were not offered (not that it has happened a lot but a few times.)

3. If a guest brings food, do/should they take their leftovers home or should they leave it for the host?

No, I think it should be left for the hosts although I think the hose should offer it back to the guest.

Re: Etiquette?

Re: Etiquette?

1) If the host wants to give out the leftovers, sure.

2) I think it would be weird if someone showed up to a dinner and brought a dessert (like a bakery cake or cookies) and it wasn't put out during dessert. I don't think it matters if the person was told not to bring anything, I think they still made an effort and I would put the dessert on the table.

I think it would be different if the edible thing was more gift-ish -- like a box of chocolates or a set of flavored hot chocolates. That kind of item is more of a gift, whereas the dessert in a bakery box is brought for all to enjoy at the dinner party.

3) Only if the host tells them to take it home.

Re: Etiquette?