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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Family calendar issue
My siblings and I decided to make a family calendar for each of us and for our Mom for 2007. As I sit and put in dates, I asked my 3 siblings if we should include our father's birthday and my parent's anniversary. My father passed away in July of 2005. My brother says to put the dates on. One sister says to keep them off - that it is not a memorial and life goes on as sad as it is. The other sister and myself are both sort of on the fence. We will never forget Dad and every event that goes by, we think about how Dad would have acted and how much we miss him. I just dont know what to do.
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Posted 12/2/06 10:25 PM  |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Family calendar issue
I dont think you need to include your dad's b-day or their anniversary on the calendar....they are dates that you will not forget but you wont celebrate them...KWIM??
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:27 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: Family calendar issue
if u want to include your dad on the calendar, how about putting the date u have to light the candle for him
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:29 PM |
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My2Boys
Love.
Member since 10/05 4796 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family calendar issue
We include both my brother's and father's birthdays and anniversaries of their deaths on our calendars. I can't explain why, but I can't imagine not including them. 
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:29 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by Lisa
I dont think you need to include your dad's b-day or their anniversary on the calendar....they are dates that you will not forget but you wont celebrate them...KWIM??
See thats what I think. I could never forget those dates. I dont need a calendar to tell me when they are.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:29 PM |
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-Lisa-
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Member since 5/05 6530 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Family calendar issue
I would include the dates. Its still a special day even though he's gone. You may not "celebrate" them, but they're still recognized.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:29 PM |
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My2Boys
Love.
Member since 10/05 4796 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by Lisa
I dont think you need to include your dad's b-day or their anniversary on the calendar....they are dates that you will not forget but you wont celebrate them...KWIM??
We don't "celebrate" those dates, but, my brother and father are both very much alive in our hearts and it's cathartic (for me, at least) to see their names in my date book. Hard to explain, I guess.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:30 PM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family calendar issue
Do you have his death anniversary on it... or can you had a small heart or something.. that might be nice..
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:32 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Family calendar issue
I dont think I could put the anniversary of his death. I would rather remember his life. His death came after many months of suffering.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:34 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by -Lisa-
I would include the dates. Its still a special day even though he's gone. You may not "celebrate" them, but they're still recognized.
I would include them to for this very reason. I would include something on his death date as well - just to acknowledge that he was at peace at last.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:36 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Family calendar issue
OK I made a decision. Instead of putting "Dad's birthday" I am simply putting "Dad" and instead of putting "Mom and Dad's Anniversary" I am putting "Mom and Dad". This way, it is acknowledged but not too "in your face."
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:44 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by Goldi0218
Posted by Lisa
I dont think you need to include your dad's b-day or their anniversary on the calendar....they are dates that you will not forget but you wont celebrate them...KWIM??
See thats what I think. I could never forget those dates. I dont need a calendar to tell me when they are.
Well, you don't have to look at it as a reminder. I lost someone very dear to me and when it was his birthday, of course I knew it, but I just jotted down on the calendar "First Birthday in Heaven" or something of that nature- and continue to do that each year for him. Or I just write his initials and put a little hailow (sp?) above them. As for the wedding anniversary you could just jot down the date and make it subtle- just the date, maybe the two intials with a heart in the middle- that way it's on there and you know what it means but it's not like BAM! right in your face either... I do that with the anniversary of my friend's death.
 It's tuff though- I understand why you are on the fence and not really sure what to do.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:48 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by Goldi0218
OK I made a decision. Instead of putting "Dad's birthday" I am simply putting "Dad" and instead of putting "Mom and Dad's Anniversary" I am putting "Mom and Dad". This way, it is acknowledged but not too "in your face."
I just posted a response and then realized you came to a decision-- but actually, my idea is kinda similar-- subtle, not in your face (only I used the phrase "BAM" lol  ) and then that way the dates are recognized That's good!! I'm glad you were able to think of something!
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:50 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Family calendar issue
We actually have a memorial calendar that the funeral home gave us. It lets us know when to light Dad's yartzeit candle on the anniversary of his passing. We go by the Hebrew calendar for that.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:51 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by Goldi0218
We actually have a memorial calendar that the funeral home gave us. It lets us know when to light Dad's yartzeit candle on the anniversary of his passing. We go by the Hebrew calendar for that.
would u want to p ut that date on the calendar
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:52 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Family calendar issue
Posted by bklyngirl
Posted by Goldi0218
We actually have a memorial calendar that the funeral home gave us. It lets us know when to light Dad's yartzeit candle on the anniversary of his passing. We go by the Hebrew calendar for that.
would u want to p ut that date on the calendar
No. He suffered a horrible and painful existence in the year before his death. We get notice from my sister's temple and we go to pray that day as well as light candles at home.
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| Posted 12/2/06 10:54 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family calendar issue
I would definately include them. If I didnt include my stepdad on my moms calendar, I know she would be hurt. But thats how MY mom is, not sure about yours. But in my opinion, I say yes, include them, they are SPECIAL days!
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| Posted 12/3/06 12:28 AM |
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