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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Family watching DC... Need advice.
My Mom is watching DS for me for this month, until my Nanny starts in July. Then she will watch DS 2 days per week.
DS is 3 months old.
My problem is, she often has SIL and my 3 nieces and nephew over while she is watching DS. She leaves DS alone with the 3 kids (ages 3, 8 and 13) in the "toy room" or the family room while she and SIL chat it up. It annoys me, because I have asked her NOT to do this, and she insists DS is "fine and happy" and being "entertained" by said 3 older kids!
I feel like because I am not paying her, and she is doing me the favor, that I have no right to dictate what she does. Anyone else in this kind of predicament? How do you handle it?
It is times like this that I wish I could be a SAHM. 
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Posted 6/9/09 3:00 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
i agree with you! you just cannot leave a baby that young unsupervised with a 3 year old and an 8 year old around - i am sure the 13 year old is fine, but the other kids may not understand how to treat a young baby like your DS.
if she accepted this as her job two days a week, then that is how she needs to treat this - as a job, where it is HER responsibility to care for your DS, whether she is being paid or not.
i wish i had some advice for you  but unless your mom changes her ways i would be looking to put DS in day care full time. that's just unacceptable.
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| Posted 6/9/09 3:42 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
3 mo. is way too young to be left alone with other kids. Not that they would intentionally hurt your DS but especially the younger ones sometimes dont understand being careful or gentle around babies.
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| Posted 6/9/09 3:43 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
Posted by jellybean1420
3 mo. is way too young to be left alone with other kids. Not that they would intentionally hurt your DS but especially the younger ones sometimes dont understand being careful or gentle around babies.
I totally agree with this. My mom is pretty much the only one that watches DS for me however, I am a SAHM so it isn't often. But, I have a "no visitors unless cleared with me first" policy. I think when too many people are around a care giver can be easily distracted and this is when things happen.
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| Posted 6/9/09 3:51 PM |
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Mkr09
.....
Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
My Ils watch Kaydyn during the week....any my MIL has gone against many things that I did not want (i.e. giving her juice, having her wear sneakers 24/7, giving her dairy even though she was having problems with it...etc). I learned to pick my battles as long as it's not a safety issue.
IMO leaving a baby alone in a room with three kids is a safety issue. My niece and nephews are very rough with my daughter. They don't realize that they are 6,10 & 12 and she is only 1. They get in her face, they hold her down, they try to sit on her, they try to pick her up. All in fun and they are not trying to hurt her in any way, but sometimes they do inadvertantly.
I would def reiterate that it is NOT ok to leave a baby alone with 3 children for any length of time. IMO it's not ok.
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| Posted 6/9/09 4:03 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
TY all...  I can't stand it b/c my Mom and SIL just make me feel like the crazy overprotective 1st time Mom...
Yes, they raised 3-4 kids each, and THEIR kids turned our fine, but it is still not I would do with my own son and I feel like they are not respecting that.
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| Posted 6/9/09 4:36 PM |
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junebride06
love my boys!
Member since 2/08 3181 total posts
Name:
Robin
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
Posted by jellybean1420
3 mo. is way too young to be left alone with other kids. Not that they would intentionally hurt your DS but especially the younger ones sometimes dont understand being careful or gentle around babies.
I completely agree! I would be really upset with my mom if she thought this was okay and I would never allow her to do this!! 
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| Posted 6/9/09 4:40 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
Posted by jellybean1420
3 mo. is way too young to be left alone with other kids. Not that they would intentionally hurt your DS but especially the younger ones sometimes dont understand being careful or gentle around babies.
ita- until your baby can talk, and say whats wrong then asn 8 yo is inadequate supervision
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| Posted 6/9/09 5:06 PM |
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stephaniea
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1280 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
My sister leaves my niece around with other kids as long as my dd is there. She is 13 and capable of keeping the kids away from the baby. My sister wouldn't allow it if she wasn't. As for people going over someones house while they are watching your kids, I would never dictate who my mom could have over. She is an adult and would never put kids in harms way. Its hard to stay home and watch kids. It can get boring and confining at times, maybe they like the company.
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| Posted 6/9/09 6:33 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
No way I would want them leaving my DC alone with kids that age. I have no problem with visitors, but a 3 month old is too young to be left with older kids in a play room IMO.
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| Posted 6/9/09 9:55 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Family watching DC... Need advice.
I am in exactly the same situation. Well, sort of.
My mom sold her house in NY and is living with us in NC until she finds a place of her own (she's been with us for 8 MONTHS already and I'm about to lose my mind  ). In exchange for living with us rent-free, she's been watching my DD for me since I went back to work 5 weeks ago.
I've had to "speak with her" about various issues that have come up. Stupid, ridiculous things...like when I'll come home and change her diaper, she'll still have some remnants of her early dirty diaper in some of the folds of her skin.  Or the fact that she NEVER, and I mean NEVER leaves the house with DD during the day. I have asked, begged, pleaded for her to take DD for a walk at the very least, to no avail.
I know what you mean--you feel because it's free childcare that you have no right to say anything, but I beg to differ. This is still YOUR DC, and you have the last word. Definitely talk to her about this--as others said, 3 months is way too old for a baby to be left alone with other kids for so much time.
GL, I know it's thin ice to be treading on... 
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| Posted 6/9/09 10:06 PM |
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