Feed my son or not?

DS is 2.5 years old. Skinny, his weight is about the 9th percentile. (DD eats like a horse and her weight is about 60% I believe which is good)

He refuses to eat meat (hamburger, bacon, steak, ground up meat, dumplings)

He went through a phase of only wanting Mac & Cheese.

Now he only wants fries.

Yesterday he refused his eggs for breakfast (he has eaten scrambled and hard boiled in the past) and would only eat goldfish. Then for lunch he only wanted fries.

Since we are concerned with his weight we think "Any food is better than no food"
But is this the best way?

When I was growing up, I either ate what my mother offered or I went hungry.
Should we do that also? "Eat this or nothing" ?

I assume after being hungry for awhile then he'll be willing to eat what we give him. But then again he is pretty stubborn so I am not sure.

Re: Feed my son or not?

I refused to fight over food. My son was the same as your son. He is 11 now and in the last year he just started eating meat. But still goes through phase where he isn't fan.

What I would do is if he didn't eat what was offered, he could have a gogurt, cheese stick or a peanut butter sandwich, that's it.

Re: Feed my son or not?

My dr said he didn't care what my kids eat as long as they ate. So if they wanted the same thing for all 3 meals just give it tot hem.

With that said I do regret it because my kids eat like crap but at the same time I am not willing to fight them right now so I let it be.


if I was you I would try to refuse him for a day and say eat this or its nothing. If he doesn't eat by the end of the day and he is already on smaller side I would probably give in and give him what he wants.

I would also maybe try some shakes to get him to have some other nutrition.

Re: Feed my son or not?

Give him what he wants to eat. Using food as a punishment (eat this or starve) can create unhealthy relationships with food. If the kid wants only chicken nuggets, whats the harm?

Food is a battle I do not pick with my kids. They can have macaroni and cheese every meal if thats what they want. Its not like theyre eating cookies and candy... at least its FOOD.

Don't sweat the small stuff. My 15 year old was the same way and would only eat grilled cheese. Now he eats everything.

Re: Feed my son or not?

Re: Feed my son or not?

I would ask your ped.

I DO make my children eat stuff. I’ve got 3, so everyone doesn’t eat something. I don’t give them an option B (but we do always have at least 1 side they will eat).

BUT if one of them was super skinny... I might just give them a multivitamin or shake and feed them anything to keep them healthy. Never had that problem.

Feed my son or not?

I think you need to give it more than one day unfortunately -- i find that if i take the approach of eat this or eat nothing it catches up with them the next day. But as PP said I dont like to generally do this. It was done to me and now i have some food issues. I do not under or over eat, I just dont try a lot of new things.

Re: Feed my son or not?

For my picky eater, I try to put out a lot of things and let her choose. I'm not saying I will make multiple hot meals for dinner - I just have one main meal, but then I will put out 2 types of fruit, some type of cheese, some sort of bread product, sometimes nuts, some type of raw vegetable (tomatoes or cucumbers or carrots), etc. There are always at least 5 different types of food. When she complains she doesn't like something or doesn't want it on her plate, I say "fine, you don't have to eat it". I also heavily praise when any of my kids try something new and make it a point that if they try it and don't like it, they don't have to try it again. This isn't always ideal as sometimes dinner is just bananas or just cheese and crackers. My hope is that if I put enough variety out, she will find different things she likes eventually. I agree with the others who said not to use food as a punishment or withhold food.

Re: Feed my son or not?

My older son is a picky eater. He has gotten better but still has definite foods be does not want. At 2, I gave him a pediasure once a day because he gained maybe a half a pound between 1 and 2.

Re: Feed my son or not?

That’s a hard thing because he’s not a big eater & you just want him to eat... but I think even in this case the nutritional content of what he’s eating is important. I don’t agree that he should just be allowed to eat whatever he wants all day just to get calories into his body. That’s not good for his health either and sets up bad habits long term. I guess I’d be a little bit more lenient with him while teaching him to eat a better varsity of food.
I think kids need to be trained to be good eaters/ not picky. I make the kids eat whatever I cooked, they don’t get to eat junk food or special meals just because it’s what they like... and they absolutely must eat the healthy stuff... or they won’t eat at all. Now for example lately my 18 month old tries to refuse veggies... well he’s not getting any of the tasty stuff I also made unless he finishes his veggies... he figured out very fast that he can scream, cry, throw himself around and I don’t give in... well tonight you better believe he shoveled that entire bowl of broccoli, cauliflower & carrots into his mouth so fast so he could have the spaghetti and meatballs. I don’t play
But it’s easy for me to say because my kids love to eat and aren’t having trouble gaining weight. Your situation is more complicated so I’d go with what your ped suggests.

Re: Feed my son or not?

Feed my son or not?

obviously you got a lot of good advice. My little one is similar. Shes also the type that will love something today and hate it tomorrow... Luckily she likes cereal, so she gets some calories and vitamins from milk.

what about adding a condiment to help? like ketchup for hamburger or sauce for meatball? gravy for meatloaf? tacos?

Feed my son or not?

For dinner, I offer my DS what we are having. If he doesn't like it, I offer him PB and Jelly or a greek yogurt with fruit. Luckily, my DS will eat anything at daycare so I know he is getting a well rounded diet even if dinner is not a success.

Re: Feed my son or not?

I make one dinner. They don't have to eat it, but they are not getting any dessert or snacks after dinner. I try my best to cook food that everyone likes, but even if they're not crazy about it they must at least try it.

Goldfish as a meal is a no for me. If your son wants fries, I would personally do it, but that's not enough. There has to be something else in there.

There are tons of creative ways to slip extra veggies, protein and healthy fats into meals. Do a quick google search. In the meantime, let him eat what he likes a few times a week if that's makes life a little easier. BUT, eliminate the fun snacks until his diet is more well rounded.

Re: Feed my son or not?

My kids are all super skinny, and my girls are very short. My youngest is actually negative 10% for both. My pediatrician told me she needs a certain amount of calories to grow so I let her eat anything she wants. Take it from a kid that was super skinny, I would have starved myself rather than eat something I didn't want to. When I was given things I didn't like I ate the bare minimum and then just went hungry.

Re: Feed my son or not?

Food is not a reward or punishment in my house. I would let him eat, and maybe make him take a multivitamin.

Feed my son or not?

I make one dinner. Usually a meat, veggie, starch. Everything is “kid friendly”, on occasion I’ll try something new. If you don’t like it, you don’t eat it—but I’m not making an alternative. Sometimes they eat it all. Sometimes only the starch. Sometimes only the veggie.

I don’t look at it as a reward or punishment. There are just some things you have to do—sleep, brush your teeth, go to school—and eating healthy meals is one of those things in our house.

Feed my son or not?

Yesterday's meals:
breakfast - nothing
lunch - we packed a bagel with cream cheese, packet of goldfish, grapes, package of yogurt raisins, those baby food squeeze pouch for his EI class - teacher wrote "DS had a great lunch, he did really well"
But everything was still in his bag except for 1/4 bagel and half the raisins - wtf, obviously he did not eat well
dinner - they got their flu shots so we walked over to McDonalds (4 streets away) for dinner. He wouldn't eat the chicken nuggests and only ate fries and the tiny yogurt from his happy meal.
I tried withholding the fries and saying "You can take one bite from a fry then one bite from the chicken nugget"
But he just kept saying "not hungry"
Then I said - "want a fry?"
and he ate that

Message edited 10/24/2018 11:13:30 AM.

Feed my son or not?

Sounds like the same amount my DD eats though she does like breakfast and always has a snack after school.

IMO, let it go. Give him a vitamin if you’re overly concerned. You’re driving yourself nuts.

Re: Feed my son or not?

He won't let himself starve to death.
Just let him eat what he wants for now.
It's most likely a phase that he will outgrow soon enough.
DD was like that.
She still kind of is to this day- she has about 5 things she will eat for dinner or lunch
Very picky
But she's fine and healthy

Re: Feed my son or not?

Maybe it's something deeper than just being a picky eater. Does he have sensory issues? Does anyone at EI say anything? As far as growth goes.. is he losing weight? Is he following his own weight curve?

For now I would give him what he likes. Don't lose sleep over it and stress yourself or your son out.

Feed my son or not?

I gave up caring what my 3 year old eats. He basically eats an all carb diet. Cereal, pancakes, or waffles for breakfast (if I'm making the pancakes, I add extra eggs to up the protein). Then he snacks all day (refuses to eat lunch unless he's at daycare) - mini muffins, goldfish, maybe an apple. Then dinner is always either a hot dog, mac and cheese, plain rice, or toast with Jelly. I always offering him other stuff, but he rejects it, so I just give him what he wants. Last night he had bread with jelly and teddy grams on top. I may be creating a picky eater or a brat, but I have a feeling he'll get over it eventually.

Feed my son or not?

My child is actually an amazing eater and I kind of have an opposite problem where she will literally eat all day. She gets 3 meals and 2 snacks. When she claims she’s going to die of starvation I’ll usually offer an apple or applesauce when I know she’s after a treat. If she says no then no, she wasn’t really hungry. If she is she’ll eventually pick one.

If you’re concerned with weight I’d definitely try to find some sort of a shake/vitamins. But as far as food id offer it at the normal times BUT food only. Not candy, not potato chips, or cookies. French fries to me is kind of skating the line of real food, if it was a chicken nugget, grilled cheese or Mac/pasta I’d say fine. But with FF maybe only let him eat it once a day as an option? Or every other day?

Re: Feed my son or not?

As a child I loathed meat, chicken and thought fish was groose too My folks never pushed me to eat any of those.. I ate and loved anything vegetable Oddly enough I became vegetarian early on. The doctor told my Mom so long as she eats let her eat whatever she wants.

My oldest is an awesome eater but didn't like meat/chicken/fish either and decided to become a vegetarian around 10. My youngest is thin, very picky only likes a handful of foods but we always offer alternatives even if its the same thing over and over..

I thank my parents for giving me a healthy example of what food and eating should be

Re: Feed my son or not?

my 9 year old is going to look like a chicken nugget.

still picky. eats a few veggies, likes chicken, sometimes pork, and cheeseburgers, but chicken is the go to.
he does eat some coldcuts like ham and cheese.

pasta, some fruits.

i was force fed as a kid. I dont fight over food. DS is lanky and underweight. But he's healthy.

maybe look into nutritional drinks or making a smoothie with some protein powder if you're worried about the weight. or even milkshakes..my dad used to make those for my brother when he was a skinny kid and underweight.

Message edited 11/2/2018 11:00:00 AM.