Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

DD's bday is in less than a month and I am feeling bad about not having a formal "party" for her.

We have a tiny house and cant even accomodate both sides of our immeidate families comfortably.

I *could* feesibly have cake at my mom's, but I feel bad asking to have yet ANOTHER party there.

We havent planned or even talked about it at all and Im really not sure what to do.

Any ideas?

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

i dont have the funds to have a big party... nor will my baby remember it...

so we'll do a regular home cooked party at home for immediate family.
since our families dont mix well it would be two seperate parties...

can you do cake and split it over two days? im sure they will be happy just to be there to celebrate

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

I would do what the PP said - have both families over on seperate days. Double the fun! Nothing crazy, just got some pizza.

Also, how is she a year already? Time really flies!

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

Having a winter baby stinks!!! With DS, he was born in May so we had a decent size party for him in the backyard. With DD, funds are low and our house is small. I was also very depressed but then my SIL told us to have DD's party at her house which is much much larger then ours. Now we can have both families and I don't feel so bad.

I would bring it up to your Mom and see if you can have it there.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

Jen you've been to my place. For DD's first b-day we had 30 people in here (including me, DH & DD). We made it work.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

A friend of mine who live in a small apartment in the city just invited a few friends with babies all around the same age and made it a play date type thing. All the babies sat on the floor and played with toys, we had some finger food, and cake. It was very nice.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

My house is small and my DD's bday is next month. We are just having our parents and siblings, nieces and nephews over. It's still a ton of people since we're both one of four!

DH had mentioned before doing a big party somewhere, but I'm not into it. Especially the cost! I felt bad for a second. Then I realized that she is not going to know any better and that it will be a fun day no matter what. Our close loved ones will be with us.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

DON'T feel bad at all!! if i could go back i would not have done the enormous party for my DD's first! it was SOOOO expensive, stressful,lots of set-up, clean-up, preparing....total chaos. she had no clue at all about it and still doesn't! i don't even look back that fondly on it b/c i spent it running around taking care of stuff that i never got one second to enjoy it!
this year for my DS's first birthday i told my DH we're taking that money and going on vacation instead!! definitely worth it!

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

We definitely don't have room for everyone in our families and friends too.

We will be having a small-ish lunch/ party at a restaurant in Queens for LI/ NYC family and friends and another weekend having a few close friends over for a party at our house.

You do the best you can do- that's all our kids will care about when they look back at pics!

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

For our kids, we haven't had a "party" yet. Ryan is turning 4 next month and will have a party.

I didn't personally see the need for big party when they are very little. We had a cake, sang happy birthday, opened presents.. they were as happy as could be! A party is more for us then for them, they have NO idea about what is going on.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

At first, I wanted to do a big party...but as we started canvassing places, we realized that we couldn't afford it with the size of our families...plus he's only 1 and would not remember it...I felt bad spending all that money that could be used for other things, kwim?

So, DH's parents offered their house, then retracted their offer.

So now, we are having the grandparents over for cake on his bday, and the next day we are having a small party with our friends (for me too since DS and I are 2 days apart). We live in a tiny duplex, so we don't have space for all our family.

At first I felt guilty not inviting family, but in our case, we are closer to and see our friends more than family, who have only seen DS like twice.

If you can at least have grandparents over for cake, I think that's fine...have cake and take pics, and it will be just as special.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

We have already discussed DD's 1st b-day even thought it is not until March. Since I am as on now unemployed, we have decided that we will just have the immediate family over for a little party. We should be about 20 people.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

Honestly we didn't do a huge party for DD#1 either. We did a bbq at my parents home (they have more room than we did at our old house). We invited about 8 friends and we had a few family members - so maybe 15-18 people total. We will be doing the same thing again this year. Really a 1st birthday party is for the parents more so than the children. If you can afford it and want it I say go for it - but you shouldn't feel guilty for doing a small party w/ family at home. For us we put the money into taking DD to WDW she won't remember that either but we got a weeks worth of family time and she loved the trip. We will be doing the same this time for DD#2. Family and a few friends bbq at our home and then on her bday this time we will be going back to wdw.

What about 2 small parties if you can't cut the list and still want it at home - do one w/ your family and one w/ your DH's family.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

we didnt do a big party for DS either. We just didnt think it was worth the $$. Our amilies are too big with all the kids to have over at our house for dinner. So we did DH's family on Saturday and mine on Sunday. We ordered food each day. I made 2 cakes.

It was a really nice celebration for DS.

Re: Feeling a little guilty.. re:1st bday

We're not having a party for Frankie either since we're in NC and we don't have a lot of family or friends here! We're just going to have dinner and cake at my moms house!