Feeling trapped

DD is 1 month old and I adore her ... but I am finding it impossible to leave the house and I am really starting to feel trapped. Between BFing and DD *hating* her carseat, I can't go anywhere alone. My days are so boring (I have watched more TV in the last month than in my whole lifetime) and DD can be really fussy and also really does not like being put down.

I know everyone says it will get better, and I do believe it will, but I am just having a bit of a down day and hate watching the whole summer go by as I sit in my (dirty) house.

Re: Feeling trapped

Honeslty I learned that I had to live with DD hating the car seat and get out of the house when I could. It's hard to hear them cry but your sanity is more important.
Are you not comfortable nursing outside your home? I didn't feel trapped by BFing but there were times if I felt it would be an awkward place I would pump and bring a bottle with me.

Re: Feeling trapped

I could have written this post myself. Infact, I did write this post myself many times last summer. I knew my sanity was riding on whether or not I went out everyday, so I forced myself to get up and do it. I found that once we were out, even if Ava screamed in the car, she was great in the stores and what not. Please, do yourself a favor and just do it. Do you have anyone who can go with you incase you're feeling overwhelmed? I'm out on eastern Long Island, don't know where you're located, but if you want some company on an outing, let me know

Re: Feeling trapped

I felt that way for the first 6 weeks with DS.

It was so hard. I hated breastfeeding and I wasn't comfortable taking him out, plus I didn't really know where to go because it was too hot to be outside and I didn't want to walk around a mall all day.

I was fighting with DH all the time because I was JEALOUS that he got to go to work and be with other people. How crazy does that sound??

And I didn't believe a single person who told me it would get better. I could not see the light at the end.

Then at 6 weeks almost to the hour, DS started nursing less frequently, he started to smile more and crank less.

It was like a whole new world.

Hang in there.

Re: Feeling trapped

I started pumping for that reason. But
i still nurse. I alternate to give the opportunity to give DS a bottle or nurse.

I finally took 1.5 hours to myself on Saturday for the first time in 5 weeks. And not by staying at home. I actually left DS with DH and left the house. I was going insane.

Best thing I did.

I also go for walks outside everyday with the stroller.

Re: Feeling trapped

Posted by prncss

I could have written this post myself. Infact, I did write this post myself many times last summer. I knew my sanity was riding on whether or not I went out everyday, so I forced myself to get up and do it. I found that once we were out, even if Ava screamed in the car, she was great in the stores and what not. Please, do yourself a favor and just do it. Do you have anyone who can go with you incase you're feeling overwhelmed? I'm out on eastern Long Island, don't know where you're located, but if you want some company on an outing, let me know

Re: Feeling trapped

Re: Feeling trapped

Posted by monkeybride

Honeslty I learned that I had to live with DD hating the car seat and get out of the house when I could. It's hard to hear them cry but your sanity is more important.
Are you not comfortable nursing outside your home? I didn't feel trapped by BFing but there were times if I felt it would be an awkward place I would pump and bring a bottle with me.

Message edited 7/30/2007 3:55:22 PM.

Re: Feeling trapped

I did the same as Dina- I BF right before I left the house and just went out- to the grocery store, the mall, Barnes & Noble. I would nurse DS in the dressing room at Macy's if I had to or in the mother's room at BRU (across the parking lotof Barnes & Noble).

If he cried and I could not console him by taking him out of the stroller or with the binky, we would just go home.

If he cried in the car, then I had to let him cry- I wouldn't travel more than a 10 minute drive- usually he cried for 5 minutes and would then fall asleep.

I know it is SO hard, but getting out made the day go by faster until DH would get home!

Re: Feeling trapped

i feel the exact same way! ds is 3 months and we have fun at home bu i want to go out so badly! it's either to hot, to buggy, or just not the right time. i'm in queens if u want a playdate!

Re: Feeling trapped

I sooo understand. Today was bad for me too.

DS has decided at 7.5 weeks he REALLY hates the carseat and taking him anywhere involves listening to him cry so hard he chokes and then 10-15 minutes of trying to calm down a hysterical baby when we get there, only to KNOW we have to do it again when we leave.

He doesnt like his stroller much either and I feel SOOO trapped.

But everyone keeps telling me it will get better, so till then, I watch TV ( which Im not a big fan of) and come on here.

I have no advice, but I feel your pain!

Re: Feeling trapped

I was in the same boat!
DS was born in the middle of Jan. so there was NO going out unless the temps were reasonable enough.
I BFed for a month.
He HATED his car seat.
I felt trapped for almost 3 months. I used to HATE when DH would simply "Run to the store" and I stayed back because DS was asleep.



Ya know what? It got 100% better! It really does get better. I put DS in his car seat more and more and he adapted to it!
He's now already 6 months and doing more and more every day!

Re: Feeling trapped

OMG I am so going through this. I am completely bored and DD wants me to hold her all day. I am fighting with DH because he gets to go out all the time (for instance today he is golfing as part of his job, and at least 2 nights a week he goes to fantastic restaurants in NYC or sporting events) and I am jealous.

I am really hoping that this gets better as everyone says it does.

Re: Feeling trapped

Start by going some place like Babies R Us. They have a breastfeeding room. As you get your confidence up you'll find that it's not a big deal to nurse discreetly in public. You can always bring along a bottle of pumped milk, but definately get out a bit. I felt the same way back in December and I found making short trips out of the house was the key to my sanity.

Re: Feeling trapped

I was in the SAME boat!! DD is now 2 months and we JUST had our first big day out at Tanger and Bj's! It was an ALL day event She got fussy a few times and I had to feed her in the car in the parking lot 2x. Not a big deal. But I was the SAME way. I didn't even go for walks because she SCREAMED bloody murder in her stroller and carseat. But now that she can see things so much better, I don't think it confuses or frightens her as much and she enjoys looking around at everything.

TRUST ME... it WILL get better!!!

Re: Feeling trapped

Can you use the Bjorn? Maybe to take walks or just get her somewhere (like a store) and use it. I hope it gets better for you!!! Hang in there, babies go through stages, hopefully this one will pass soon!

Re: Feeling trapped

DD HATED her carseat...it was awful trying to go anywhere...but, I went anyway.

When I would drive to LI to visit my parents (I'm in NJ), I would either go straight to my sisters or my parents..and who's ever house I didn't go to, had to come over to the other one. I said because when we got to my parents, DD would want to come out of her carseat...and I didn't want to have to put her back in to go somewhere else.

I got rid of the infant seat at 5 months, even though DD was still so tiny and fit in it. It made my life so much easier in some ways not to have to deal with that thing.

Re: Feeling trapped

Posted by FireIslandLove

Can you use the Bjorn? Maybe to take walks or just get her somewhere (like a store) and use it. I hope it gets better for you!!! Hang in there, babies go through stages, hopefully this one will pass soon!

Re: Feeling trapped

DS didn't mind the car too much but he hated being in his stroller. I found that the Bjorn was my savior. I was able to shop for HOURS is he was in there. I went food shopping, to Costco, Target, wherever with him on my chest.

Re: Feeling trapped

The 1st month was hell for me....i didnt go anywhere ( I was scared) but Now DS and I go out all the time....i got over being scared that he would cry and just took the stroller by myself

Re: Feeling trapped

I look back at these and laugh...Everytime I took my kid for a walk he screamed his head off



we aren't just pulling him out to pose with him we would give up and carry him home. one day he snapped out of it, now he will sit in his stroller for hours.

the car is still a hit or a miss. It gets better. I go to the mall a lot. I would BF in gap dressing rooms. I would go sit at barnes and nobles.

Re: Feeling trapped

I agree with taking a trip tp BRU. I swear, that place feels like such a safe haven for me. When I'm running errands- I almost always make BRU a stop- even if it's just to go in the Mother's Room to get in a feeding.

Slowly, you'll build up your confidance. I soent the first month housebound and was miserable. Now, I make sure DD and I are out of the house every day by 10am- even if it's just for a walk around the block.

I swear, it gets better.....

Re: Feeling trapped

Posted by monkeybride

Honeslty I learned that I had to live with DD hating the car seat and get out of the house when I could. It's hard to hear them cry but your sanity is more important.
Are you not comfortable nursing outside your home? I didn't feel trapped by BFing but there were times if I felt it would be an awkward place I would pump and bring a bottle with me.

Re: Feeling trapped

Thank you all for your encouragement, support, and even "I'm right there with you" comments. It means a lot and helps so much in this situation.

Last night my mom called when I was near tears and she could hear it in my voice. She and my dad came over and gave me a much needed break. I picked DH up from the train and we went for a quick dinner together which was just so nice. When we got home, I got out the Baby Bjorn and figured out how to use it so I'll be trying it out soon! Today I am going over to my parents' so I will be out of the house.

Yay for a new day ...