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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Please tell me I'm not the only one who may have to do this/has done this...
Obviously, people have been sending gifts for Jordan. We are so tight with money right now, with me not working and I get ZERO paid maternity benefits, that I've been keeping track of what he's gotten - but I feel like I'm going to start having to use some of it for household things (form, diapers, etc) and bills, and keep track and "pay" him back when I start working again. It absolutely kills me to do this. I just feel so awful. It's not money that is for me, it's for him.
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Posted 3/10/10 3:17 PM  |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Don't you dare feel guilty. You are using FOR him - for HIS needs. He needs his mommy home and you do what you have to do!! 
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:19 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
But having food for him and a safe place to live IS for him. You do what you have to do and replace it when you are in a better financial position.
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:19 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
We seemed to get gifts, money, from people who wanted to help us with those things, formula, diapers, etc, but not give GCs. So I wouldn't feel bad
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:21 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Do not beat yourself up over this.
If you were taking his money and going to Vegas for the weekend I'd say that was a problem, but you're not. You are using it for his needs, and I'm sure that's what everyone intends it to be for. No one says you have to save it for him for 18 years.
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:25 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Don't feel bad. It's for your family, and your son is a HUGE part of that!
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:25 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Thanks, ladies. And to be honest, IDK "what" the money is for - I know that sounds silly, but is it the equivalent of a gift card - meaning - use now - get things he needs - or is it like - this is for his savings - start a bank account.
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:35 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
My parents had to do that with my communion gifts and paid me back as they could over time. Don't feel guilty.
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:49 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Posted by Diana1215
Do not beat yourself up over this.
If you were taking his money and going to Vegas for the weekend I'd say that was a problem, but you're not. You are using it for his needs, and I'm sure that's what everyone intends it to be for. No one says you have to save it for him for 18 years.
I agree 100% I was going to write something very similar!
Would it be wiser to not use the money and then go into interest accruing debt instead???
I would rather "borrow" from my DS and then pay HIM/HIS account the interest!
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:54 PM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Don't feel guilty at all!! The money is used for him and the family to get the necessities. It's all about survival and you are doing what must be done for your family.
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:56 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
been there..use what you have to and when u start working again, pay back what you can.
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| Posted 3/10/10 3:56 PM |
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emomma17
All My Girls!
Member since 11/08 4392 total posts
Name:
Mia
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Posted by Peainapod
been there..use what you have to and when u start working again, pay back what you can.
Ditto to this..it kills me on the inside but we had to do it to survive.
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| Posted 3/10/10 4:02 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
I would only feel guilty if it were going to a crack habit!
I considered it the same as paying for josh's daycare provider.
times are tough, esp when you are knocked down to one income. no one would ever judge you at all for paying bills.
jessie is on weight gain management at ped's. we have been going 2-3 times a week...if i have to pay one more copay i will scream! i am sure your formula is costing you. if people's gifts are helping out in a jam then wonderful.
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| Posted 3/10/10 4:07 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Do NOT feel guilty!
We had times where we kept track and then paid our DC right back!
As others said, if you were using it for a drug addiction or something, then thats when you feel guilty!
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| Posted 3/10/10 4:09 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
the money will be used for him , and remember all of your money technically goes to him anyway so don't feel guilty at all!
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| Posted 3/10/10 4:38 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Don't feel guilty. We were in a similar situation with DS#1.
I got laid off when I was pg and didn't find a job until DS was almost a year. We had just brought our house, so our saving had been hit. We tried to live off the rest of our savings and my unemployment, but when DS was 8 months we started to realized that funds were running low. We occasionally dipped into the money he got to buy diapers, formula and other things he needed. I initially felt bad we had to do this, but we honestly didn't have any choice.
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| Posted 3/10/10 4:41 PM |
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Posted by emomma17
Posted by Peainapod
been there..use what you have to and when u start working again, pay back what you can.
Ditto to this..it kills me on the inside but we had to do it to survive.
Agreed, we need to do what is in our family's best interest.
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| Posted 3/10/10 7:41 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Do not feel guity.
I did use some of the GC for gifts, and I used the rest on diapers, etc...
I buy DS toys all year long. Sometimes I will just give DS one of the toys I got and tell the person that's what he got from them. I kind of "reimburse" myself with the GC and I buy stuff for DS anyway with it.
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| Posted 3/10/10 7:47 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Posted by Diana1215
Do not beat yourself up over this.
If you were taking his money and going to Vegas for the weekend I'd say that was a problem, but you're not. You are using it for his needs, and I'm sure that's what everyone intends it to be for. No one says you have to save it for him for 18 years.
I really agree with Diana, don't knock yourself.
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| Posted 3/10/10 9:18 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
Posted by Janice
I would only feel guilty if it were going to a crack habit!
ITA! And, seeing as how you kicked that habit in your first (or was it your 2nd? i forget) trimester.... you have no reason to feel guilty! 
Seriously, though- all of those things ARE going to him.. and, imo, its totally worth the sacrifice to be home with him. The money will come later!
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| Posted 3/10/10 9:33 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling Very Guilty - Money Issues
dont feel guilty....... your child # 1 wants time with their parent, keep a list- pay it back before they move out
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| Posted 3/10/10 9:44 PM |
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