Final update

And so it goes....

No real growth. We are letting the pregnancy end. The dr gave me a long sweet hug. He spent so much time talking to me. My RE would not have done that stack.

He found many things in testing and when I'm ready he and I will meet to make a plan.

My Charlie and a lovely friend led me to Dr. Kofinas. And so I am forever grateful that my future chances at having a pregnancy is in the very best hands.

If you have RE recommendations I would love to hear. I need to, when i am ready, move my Embryo and little swimmers to a new office.

You all have all been my best confidants and greatest cheerleaders. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mwah!!!



4/18

Well... So.... It continues. My HCG went up to 2070. Progesterone was real low. They are increasing my crinone and letting this ride to Monday for sono and blood.

Pooped. Can't even attempt to think. Nothing left to google. Just a wait and see now. Charlie and I are having ice cream for dinner tonight. Tomorrow I'll go back to the healthy crap.

Thank you for helping me through this. Truly.






My new high risk doctor is and his staff were amazing.

They said the old doctor could not have seen a sac last week Bc my numbers were too low. Can't believe he lied. Or doesn't know what the hell he is doing. Such false hope. They were also shocked he let my progesterone get so low. He said she is measuring 1 1/2 weeks to 2 weeks behind. He said it would be a miracle if she made it.

I can't tell you the kindness and care I received in the new office. Just amazing.

The new doctor slammed his face in his hands when he heard that the old office did the wrong sono last week and dr didn't recognize me.

He is doing a bunch of blood work to look at clotting disorders, immune testing and such.

I'm numb. Tired. And really without hope for Charlie.

I need to live again. This is not living.

Sent from my iPhone




What a day. Longest week ever.

Good news first:
Small sac, he would like it bigger at this stage but my HCG went up to 527!!!!

Bad news:
My friend offered to come with me today. Thank god I said yes. Blood lady was super sweet and gentle knowing my numbers were slow. My friend and I go to room for sono. He babbles at me to keep me occupied.

I expect RE to come in, but a sono tech did. I never had this in this practice. She had no bedside manner and explains nothing to me. Literally did the sono, prints and goes to walk out. I stop her and say...., I haven't done this before.... What happens next? Bc in my mind this just be a different sono bc I'm pregnant. She says everything looks good the doctor will explain it at the front desk. So much for
privacy, but ok.

Rob and I head to the front desk. I'm beginning to let myself maybe smile. I'm at the receptionist desk a bit away from the waiting area and RE looks at my sono and says, "your lining is not quite ready yet. We will have to delay your transfer."

It was like a slowing moving accident. I stared at them. He doesn't recognize me. No idea I'm pregnant and a patient who has spent a week worrying over low numbers. The blood lady stepped up and realized what was happening. No one said anything. I finally had to say the two words I haven't said all week bc they were too painful to say.... "I'm pregnant". I said I'm not here for a transfer.

RE asked me to go back to room for sono. I was frozen realizing they must have pulled the wrong Amy chart (2 of us were at the office today) or the sono person didn't know I was pregnant. He had to repeat the request to get me moving.

I got to the room and a weeks worth of holding tears in overwhelmed me. The possible joy of it being ok left and I fell apart crying. Rob sat in the chair and scooped me up and held me. It was terrible.

I got through the rest of the appointment somehow. The blood lady came in and sweetly apologized. He came in and gave an apology that we found lacking.

Needless to say after other mistakes were made by this office and now this awful visit, I am leaving this practice. Another friend from this board has recommended me to a high risk dr given my slow, low numbers. They were great today and are figuring out how to help me. I already have an appt for Monday and they will see if the doctor wants to see me sooner.

Charlie and I are working hard together. I'm grateful for that. Thank you for all of your encouragement!!!!










Ugh

HCG level went up to 90 nurse said.not high enough at all.

So now they are having me come for blood and sono on Tuesday to see if it's late implanter, blighted ovum or ectopic.

I can't even right now. Just can't even. Gonna be a long wait. And all day had was gagging to toothpaste, breakfast, and cafeteria smell.

They have a patient who started like me and she is in her 2nd or 3rd trimester now. Hopefully I am that lucky. I can't even cry.

I guess I will try to act as though this is going to work out. Keep my mind aware of any ectopic signs along the way.



Update: my numbers went up to 59.5
RE would have liked to see it higher, but I head back on Wednesday for another blood test.



And then my world crashes a bit. My levels didn't rise enough.

Might not be a viable pregnancy

He says he has seen some things like this work out with IVF, but not often

I go back in on Monday for a retest

I'm heartbroken

Started at 36. Only went to 46. I have quiet tears streaming down my face.

Message edited 4/25/2016 5:53:48 PM.

Crestfallen

Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear this. Hopefully things turn around. Prayers for you.

Re: Crestfallen

im sorry. i've been in your shoes. however, maybe its just a slow riser. Crossing fingers!!

Re: Crestfallen

Crestfallen

My heart is breaking for you. I am so terribly sorry.

Re: Crestfallen

I'm am so sorry for you.

Re: Crestfallen

Re: Crestfallen

Thank you everyone. I asked my little one to stay. I prayed to God. Now it's out of my hands.

Didn't time with a friend and it was a blessing. Me heart aches, but at least I wasn't alone.

Re: Crestfallen

I am so sorry to read this but hope it's not over for you. I am praying for better news from you.

Re: Crestfallen

I'm so sorry.

Re: Crestfallen

Oh no my heart sank reading this ... Prayers that your numbers will rise

Crestfallen

Oh no this was the last thing I wanted to see. My heart breaks for you. Sending hugs your way.

Re: Crestfallen

At the RE. I feel so numb. But if I let myself I could cry all day. Since I can't cry in front of my students, I'll tell them just to leave a message. I may ask to leave work a bit early to just finally know where this is going.

Her name is Charlie. I pray she stays.

Re: Crestfallen

Re: Crestfallen

Crestfallen

Thinking of you today and hoping all works out for you!

Re: Crestfallen

Re: Crestfallen

So sorry, praying for a good update!!

Re: 4/4 update

Bump for update

Re: 4/4 update

I am sorry your HCG is so slow to rise. Did he give any insight?

Message edited 4/4/2016 1:20:45 PM.

Re: 4/4 update

what does the dr think?? maybe a late implanter??

Re: 4/4 update

Try your best to hang in there, the waiting game is tough. Many prayers and good thoughts your way!!!

Re: 4/4 update

I saw my other doctor today. He really didn't offer insight. I guess with no overt signs of problems (bleeding/pain) there's is not much to ponder. A waiting game.

My question is if it first make a huge leap on Wednesday what might they say then?

This little one just needs to dig deeper and shoot out more preggo hormones. Lol.

I'll keep trying to talk her into it

4/4 update

Catching up on your updates. Hoping you have a good beta on Wednesday. Prayers

4/4 update

Waiting games are the worst. Wednesday can't come fast enough.