firends with children

many of our friends have young children, and I am not talking about any of the great girls I am friendly with on here. Its a group I moved into when I met DH. they are all married 6 -7 years and have young children...most work and are not sahm

I find I have less and less desire to hang out with them. THey all have 5 year olds and younger, and when we get together, the boys go in one room and hang out and the girls get together and yak about their toddlers...often I go to the boys conversations, or start playing with one of the kids.

Its seems that moms take the responsibility for all things kiddie and talk about nothing else.

Maybe when the kids are older we'll reconnect. I feel bad, and it may seem to them like I have ignored them, but they are so self absorbed

anyone else have that?

Re: firends with children

Yep! I have less and less in common with the friends in our group with kids...and like you- I would MUCH rather be in with the boys talking sports and drinking beers than listening to mommy stuff- and not just mommy stuff- but girl stuff in general.

But I've always been a guy's girl....

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That is a fear of mine since everyone in my small social group is starting to have babies. I feel like nothings going to be the same because their going to have children.

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are you still seeing these people ?

We are seeing them less and less...only at those functions we have to go to

Of course, we get invited to some of the kids parties, but its always posed as if they know we won't go, but feel they should invite us, but "you know, its at a kids place"

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I usually have two parties a year at my home. Over the summer I invite everybody, kids included. During the winter months I have just adults. Nobody gets offended since I'm including everyone and I think this works the best for us. I make an effort not to exclude anyone.

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I have had this for a long time, years ago, before DH and I were married, he was in a band and all "the wives" had kids except me. I hung out with the guys and got some flack from the wives for it, then I explained to them that's all they talked about and I couldn't contribut to the conversation, so I went somewhere I could. A little different b/c they weren't my "friends" per se..

I currently have friends who have kids - who can have conversation other then child related..and some can't. I do find myself spending less time with the ones that can't.

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in my core group of girlfriends, some have kids some don't.

we actually make a point to hang out together, just the girls - and it's been great. even if some kids end up with us while we hang out, we spend time as we did pre-kids entering their lives. it's refreshing to them to have adult time, espeically without the husbands around.

i'm sad though how often the opposite happens

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As more of our friends begin having children, I find that I have less and less in common with them. It's not that I don't want to hear about their children, but I don't want that to be the only thing that we talk about. Some are able to have adult-oriented conversations and others are not. For those that are not, I find that DH and I do not spend as much time with them as we may have in the past. I hate this saying, but it is what it is.

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All of my close friends have kids ( i was the last to get married and it was years after everyone else)...and alot of times they want to get together with the kids so they can play or better yet because their DH's are apparently incapable of watching the kids on their own for a few hours (no joke the Dh said he can't handle it)...

i agree to come along because otherwise i'd never see them...but there are times i want to scream & say "can we have a kid free outing?" cause i feel like i can't have a conversation without being interrupted by a "Mommy???" or the kids are acting up...i miss life before their kids sometimes

In their defense though they do try to get out without the kids but i usually have to drive to them so they can get the kids to bed or get home at a decent hour...another thing that annoys me at times..since it's about a 50 minute drive.

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Most of dh's friends have kids- and they come everywhere when we do something and its fun- but its as you say, the girls seem to take the kids and the boys go off and do something else.

one of my best friends is a single mom and we go to lunch once a week and she brings her 2 year old. I absolutely adore her and am always so glad that she brings her.

Sometimes we have adult nights and go to a bar- she needs them more than me sometimes because of being a single mom.

Anyway, as much as I love all the kids, they are excellent birth control
Don't anyone jump on me for that comment, I say it to my friends and they laugh harder than I do!

Re: firends with children

Posted by MrsFab



Anyway, as much as I love all the kids, they are excellent birth control
Don't anyone jump on me for that comment, I say it to my friends and they laugh harder than I do!

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Only one of my really good friends has a child and she is completely opposite from what many has mentioned above. She hates when everyone just talks about their children. There are other things to talk about. She says it's like when you don't know anyone really well there are two things people talk about men and the weather and when you have a child, you through that in the mix lol.

Since she lives in NJ I don't get to see her that much, but when I do her daughter is with her and we all have a good time.

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Hi guys- hope you don't mind.
After all I'm a person too and not just a mom to a few...
I just like to add that you'd love to hang out with me b/c my kids are usually the last thing I talk about in person or on the phone.
When I'm with my friends childfree or not we talk about everything under the sun and our kids are usually the last thing to come up in conversation. It's great that all my friends are on the same page b/c I could never sit there and talk about my kids non stop- or have it done to me.
If I see someone I haven't spokne to in a while and they ask me how the kids are I say great and keep it moving...
there is so much more to my life than just being a mom.

So ladies I don't blame you one bit for when a mother goes on and on and on....I wouldn't b in the room long enough to hear it.

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Posted by IrishLass

Posted by MrsFab



Anyway, as much as I love all the kids, they are excellent birth control
Don't anyone jump on me for that comment, I say it to my friends and they laugh harder than I do!

LOL! Very good! No need for jumping, it's how you feel for yourself, not for others. Besides, I have been TTC for over 2 years, and yet, I have still met a few kids that make me scratch my head.

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That happened to me all the time at work lunches. I was the only childless one and it basically meant sitting quietly, because since I don't have children yet, I am not entitled to opinions either. I stopped going.

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My best friend has 3 children, we've been friends forever and have a lot in common its scary sometimes, we talk everyday, email, IM, facebook etc.



It doesnt bother me when friends talk about their kids, because their my friends i love their kids. And I have learned a lot from being close with someone who has kids, things i wouldn't of known

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I don't mind hanging out with my friends who have kids at all. But I haven't really found that they exclusively talk about their children - generally there is conversation that I can contribute to. If there weren't, then yeah, I could see not being excited about getting together anymore, because I imagine I'd feel really left out.

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This reminds of when i was thinking of joining a junior league in my town. i went to one of the meetings with my neighbor and everyone had kids and they were all talking about them. i felt so left out and decided not to join because of it.

Other than that, most of my friends don't have kids and even the ones that do, really don't talk about them unless you ask.

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What I've found is that if I'm one-on-one with a friend (99% have kids), it's fine. However, when I'm with more than one person who has kids, I'm completely left out.

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A lot of our friends we've had for years -- they all have kids that are older -- like age 7 or 8 thru like 12 or 13. so they are well behaved and such, and when we hang out - its fine that there are kids around cause I've known these kids since they were toddlers.

DH and I are really good with kids and don't mind them at all with our friends. Sometimes we have nites out just the grownups -- but a lot of times we'll go to our friends house who have kids and all hang out together. Luckily none of my friends were the type to be all about the kiddies.

Although I'm wondering how it will be now--as a bunch of a new wave of my friends have just had babies or are pregnant -- I guess we'll see how the friendships are as time goes on!