For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

After maternity leave, of course....

Does anyone else feel that the baby right now it sort of this inanimate thing that will be lugged back and forth to daycare????

I feel lately, everytime I talk about the baby - it goes something like this....

OK, when I return to work, I'll have the baby.... I have to get him/her to daycare by 8:00.... Have to leave work by 5:15 to get the baby on time.... On certain nights I'll have to stay later at work, I'll have to run out and get the baby before I have to pay the late arrival fee...

Then, I'll bring the baby home.... DH will come home, he can watch the baby on ___ night and ____ night so I can go to the gym.... but if he's running late, maybe my stepdaughter can watch the baby on the nights she is over until he gets home.....


THEN - any conferences I need to go to, maybe DH's mom can come in from NJ and stay with us for a few days to watch the baby because DH needs to leave at 4 in the morning for work and couldn't bring the baby to and from daycare....

And on and on....

Not - oh when the baby is born, we will spend all this time together... we will go to the park, and bake cookies or whatever... I feel like the baby will be some big rock that I drive around all over the place looking for someone to watch it so I can do my job....

It makes me so sad.... I have wanted to be a mommy since I was 3, I think... Now 30 years later, all I can think about is - how am I going to get this baby to someone on time and pick the baby up on time so I can do something else.....

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

I feel the same ay you do. My m-i-l will baby sit 3 days, my grandmother 1, and my husband is off on Fridays and Saturdays, so he's with her 1 day while I'm at work too. Even though I feel fortunate she is with family, I feel like I'm missing out big time.

It took me a long time to adjust to the schedule after my daughter was born. I was very depressed for a while that I couldnt be home with her, if not for good, then at least longer than 8 weeks. I will have to return after 6 weeks this time, even though we are allowed 12, I cant afford to not be paid

I'm so sad. I feel like my children wont even know who I am when they grow up.

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

There are definitely times it feels like that and all I think about is how we're going to shuffle the baby around. I wonder if we'll ever have any quality time together. But I think they're normal worries to have and things that need to be planned for and when you have the baby is won't be a "rock" you have to lug around, but this little cutie that you don't wanna drop off and can't wait to pick up. And then you'll have a routine and it'll all work out.

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

Well i will be going back after like 4 months and i dont know how things are gonna work. Thank goodness i have DH who says he will do anything he can to relieve the stress off of me. But a mom is a mom and when do we not stress about our children.

I live in PA and work in NY. So I will have to get up at 5am pump so DH can feed the baby later on be out of the house by 5:50am to catch the bus be to work by 8:30am and then leave by 4:30am to get home by 6:30pm to pick the baby up from daycare. Its going to be hard but I think i can do it. DH can be at work at anytime and his job is more flexible than mine so he can take care of the baby in the morning. I kind of dont want to give up my job in NY b/c it comes with EXCELLENT benefits. Right now I am getting my Masters for free at a very prestigous school and DH gets to go for free as well. So it makes sense to stay here.

I do feel bad leaving my child in daycare but I have to make sacrifices for my family. My MIL has offered to come up every othe rweek. So the baby will only have to be in daycare for 2 weeks during the month.

Message edited 1/30/2007 10:53:13 AM.

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

Liza, deep breath. It all works out and I know people if you need them.


That said, I told my boss that the reason I would come back so quickly after the birth was because I already have guilt for leaving her/him and the longer I stay out, the less likely I'll come back. With my first, I stayed home for 6 months solid and when I did return to working, it was part-time evenings...so I got all the good stuff in each day. I am going to miss all that and it kills me.

Message edited 1/30/2007 12:20:16 PM.

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

I feel the same way. And now that the Daycare will not be in my building I am even more sad about it. I relly want to work from home

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

Its funny, maybe I am programmed differently, but I don't have this guilt at all. DS will be with my SMIL and eventually day care, but that doesn't bother me in the least.

My mother went back to work when I was six weeks old and I was with family, then in daycare til I went to school and I feel like I had the most amazing childhood and value all of the time that my parents spent with me in the evenings and on the weekends. I recently had this conversation with my cousin who stayed home with her kids and I said how I never expected to stay home after the baby is born.

Now, I am sure once I see that little face I will dread coming to work even more, but I make significantly more money than my DH and I need to work for our household to run nicely.

ETA: Some of my best memories are from when I was a small child and my great uncle took care of me, and I feel I am lucky to have had those memories.

Message edited 1/30/2007 1:19:50 PM.

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

I'm not feeling guilty about putting my baby in daycare at all... I feel guilty that my mind is revolving around the shlepping to and from daycare, and all I can think is - "Who's going to watch the baby for..." or "Who's going to get the baby to...." or, "How am I going to do this when I have to pick up the baby at...."

In fact, I feel guilty that I'm so willing to leave the baby somewhere for someone to watch so that I can get to all the things that have been a natural, everyday part of my life.... Thats what I mean that I feel like this baby is this thing I'm lugging around for other people to watch.... I just never thought so much of parenting would be dropping it off somewhere, and thats how I feel. I'm fine once the baby is IN daycare. Its that I'm just so stuck on planning the getting baby to and from daycare....

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

I feel like this as well...thats why I want an at home nanny...

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...

Re: For those moms who are going right back to work after the baby...