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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Friends with perfect kid(s)
This is a tough post to write and I'm not sure what I'm looking for by writing this... I guess support that I am not the only person that feels like this?
We went to the zoo and out to eat with friends of ours today. We have a 13 month old DS and they have a 5 month old DD.
Well, DS was SO BAD the entire day. He wouldn't sit in his stroller at the zoo and wanted to either run himself or we had to carry him. At the restaurant, they only had pub tables available so DS refused to sit in the highchair because it was lower than the table. He then proceeded to kick and scream until we put him down to run around. Luckily the restaurant was empty so he was able to do that.
Their daughter was PERFECT the entire day. Did not cry once in her stroller at the zoo. Sat peacefully in her carseat while dinner was served.
I just felt like the worst mother and that I had the worst kid. DH doesn't help because he says I "spoil" DS and give him his way too much. I'm sorry, he is 13 months old and still a baby! He doesn't understand consequences yet and I DON'T feel like listening to my kid scream while I am out to eat.
My friend has made comments in the past about how girls are better behaved than boys, and I feel like DS just proved her right today.
And it's not his age either - he was a difficult infant as well. We never could've gone out to eat with him like that when he was 5 months either.
It was just rough and what was supposed to be a nice day felt like a punishment.
Message edited 4/11/2010 6:39:49 PM.
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Posted 4/11/10 6:38 PM  |
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)/life
Whooooaaaa....
there is a HUGE difference between a 5 mt old and a 13 mt old!!!!!!
5 mts old they have no clue what's gong on - everything is interesting and they have no desire to walk and move because they don't know how to yet!!!
13 mts old they want to go go go..... They can either crawl or even walk and they never want to stop. This is apples and oranges - hell - this is apples and buffalo!!!
13 mts old was a tough age for us too - Cailen had his own desires and opinions about what he wanted. We had to always give him lots of consequences for his behavior - very tough!
The Bronx Zoo was very successful at age 3. It would have been a train wreck at 13 mts. For his 1st bday we took him to Central park zoo which was just right for him at that age!
This is not a parenting issue or a good kid/bad kid issue. This is a toddler issue! Things will be tough for at least 5 mts!!!
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| Posted 4/11/10 6:43 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
13 month old boys are VERY tough. They want to go, go, go. My DS would have been the same way at that age. 
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| Posted 4/11/10 6:47 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Whooooaaaa....
there is a HUGE difference between a 5 mt old and a 13 mt old!!!!!!
5 mts old they have no clue what's gong on - everything is interesting and they have no desire to walk and move because they don't know how to yet!!!
13 mts old they want to go go go..... They can either crawl or even walk and they never want to stop. This is apples and oranges - hell - this is apples and buffalo!!!
13 mts old was a tough age for us too - Cailen had his own desires and opinions about what he wanted. We had to always give him lots of consequences for his behavior - very tough!
The Bronx Zoo was very successful at age 3. It would have been a train wreck at 13 mts. For his 1st bday we took him to Central park zoo which was just right for him at that age!
This is not a parenting issue or a good kid/bad kid issue. This is a toddler issue! Things will be tough for at least 5 mts!!!
Thank you so much... I needed to hear that. I just felt like they were staring at me the whole time like "why can't she just control her kid" 
Can I ask you, at 13 mos, what kinds of consequences did you do? I thought it was too young to start time out, etc?
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| Posted 4/11/10 6:48 PM |
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
We started time outs at 10 mts old.
But - it has to be a time out from an enjoyable activity (so it wouldn't work to give a time out if he wanted to get away from the table)
We were very firm with him. If the rule was he had to stay in the stroller, then he could cry until kingdom come. He was strapped in and NOT getting out.
Time out meant he was put somewhere for a brief amount of time with no attention, or we strapped him into his high chair, stroller, etc after given a firm "No!" and then he was told "Time out".
When walking, he was to hold our hand if he walked. We showed him exactly what he COULD do, and if he refused to do it, then the rules don't change.... we gave a consequence of one of the above - a time out, or a "walk through" where we would have him do what we asked hand over hand even if he cried and screamed.
I am a firm believer in consequences at any age. And now I have a 3 year old who will go walk himself to time out when he is in trouble, and stand there until we tell him he can get out  We also have to tell him something ONCE and he does it. We are very consistent and as a result, we have a fairly well behaved child - don't get me wrong - he is a tough cooke, but he knows that no mater what, a consequence follows his actions.
ETA - He was a PERFECT 5 mt old, btw
Message edited 4/11/2010 6:59:37 PM.
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| Posted 4/11/10 6:58 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Whooooaaaa....
there is a HUGE difference between a 5 mt old and a 13 mt old!!!!!!
5 mts old they have no clue what's gong on - everything is interesting and they have no desire to walk and move because they don't know how to yet!!!
13 mts old they want to go go go..... They can either crawl or even walk and they never want to stop. This is apples and oranges - hell - this is apples and buffalo!!!
ITA!!!!!!!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself!
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| Posted 4/11/10 7:41 PM |
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luckyinlove
I love my baby girls!
Member since 12/06 2441 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
We started time outs at 10 mts old.
But - it has to be a time out from an enjoyable activity (so it wouldn't work to give a time out if he wanted to get away from the table)
We were very firm with him. If the rule was he had to stay in the stroller, then he could cry until kingdom come. He was strapped in and NOT getting out.
Time out meant he was put somewhere for a brief amount of time with no attention, or we strapped him into his high chair, stroller, etc after given a firm "No!" and then he was told "Time out".
When walking, he was to hold our hand if he walked. We showed him exactly what he COULD do, and if he refused to do it, then the rules don't change.... we gave a consequence of one of the above - a time out, or a "walk through" where we would have him do what we asked hand over hand even if he cried and screamed.
I am a firm believer in consequences at any age. And now I have a 3 year old who will go walk himself to time out when he is in trouble, and stand there until we tell him he can get out We also have to tell him something ONCE and he does it. We are very consistent and as a result, we have a fairly well behaved child - don't get me wrong - he is a tough cooke, but he knows that no mater what, a consequence follows his actions.
ETA - He was a PERFECT 5 mt old, btw
Wow! Can you come and be my super nanny? I am so weak when it comes to disciplining DD! I do hope that she is good like that when she is 3, though!
To respond to the OP, though -- my DD was a perfectly behaved infant, but now that she can walk, she is a pain in the neck and always wants to run around and explore and will have a fit when i don't let her. She is like a different baby. I totally think it is the age in this case! They may have felt bad for you though, as they have no clue what it is like to have a kid that age! I remember looking at our friends who have a 3 year old and a 2 year old who would run around wild and have temper tantrums, and think that they were not well behaved, but now that my DD is getting to be that age, I take back everything I said and thought!
Message edited 4/11/2010 7:43:47 PM.
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| Posted 4/11/10 7:43 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
There is a HUGE difference between a 5 month old and a 13 month old!
Also, from MY limited experience as a mommy of a girl AND a boy, In MY opinion, around that age boys are generally more rambunctious than girls. Yes, I am sure there are many exceptions but I think that is generally true.
I would not worry about it too much. It is pretty easy for a 5 month old to behave perfectly.
However, I do think that 13 month olds can be disclipined and DO understand consequences. I definately remember discliping my DD at that age and she definately "got it".
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| Posted 4/11/10 8:07 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
my DS has been difficult since the day he was born. I am THAT parent that everyone looks at like tsk tsk. he is now 19 months and just a big a pain as ever, you get used to the looks of sympathy, as well as the looks of control your child
DH and I must look like such dummies sometimes bc our DS is running the show, but what can we do, it's his personality!
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| Posted 4/11/10 8:33 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
As all the others have said, there is a huge difference between a 5m old and a 13m old.
Every kid has off days. 1yo DS is generally a good kid but he still will have an occasional meltdown. Some days, our friends say DS is a perfect angel. On other days, I am embarassed at DS's poor behavior and come home early. I know it has been more difficult since DS became mobile. He always wants to be on the move and hates being strapped in the stroller.
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| Posted 4/11/10 8:36 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Whooooaaaa....
there is a HUGE difference between a 5 mt old and a 13 mt old!!!!!!!
ITA!!!
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| Posted 4/11/10 8:41 PM |
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
I say you schedule another GTG with this couple in 8 mts! Then you can give them the "looks" while you walk around with your better behaved 21 mt old! 
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| Posted 4/11/10 8:43 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
My reaction was EXACTLY like Liza's...
Im sitting here and had to Re Read the ages!
First of all, 13 months and 5 months is a huge age difference!
13 months they are very very active.
5 months..they don't really know yet what exactly is going on.
You cannot compare! No Way!
Second! Boys or Girls...does NOT matter! I worked in day care for YEARS....I think the girls were harder then the boys!
Please do NOT even compare! Don't be hard on yourself.
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:11 PM |
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AMF1115
Loves being Joey & Vinny's mom
Member since 1/09 3771 total posts
Name:
Athina
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
We had the same thing at easter. DS is 3 months and our cousin is 13 months old. For us it was the opposite. the 13 month old was PERFECT while DS was miserable. We had to eat outside b/c he went NUTS everytime we went inside. I dont know if he overwhelmed by all the people, it was too hot, or what. I felt HORRIBLE.
It'll get better. Every kid has a bad time. And honestly I dont think ANY parent should comment on it. Everyone saids girls are better babies but in 10 years youll have it easier! lol
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:19 PM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Dont compare. Each child has there moments and NO child is perfect.
Dont get down on yourself about being a bad parent.
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:22 PM |
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
I've had plenty of those moments. It gets better though. That is a hard age because they don't have great communication skills yet.
I agree with everyone else though, you can't compare a 5 month old to a 13 month old. Don't worry they'll be asking you for advice in a few months, trust me. 
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:26 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I say you schedule another GTG with this couple in 8 mts! Then you can give them the "looks" while you walk around with your better behaved 21 mt old!
ITA!
At 5 months, my DD couldn't even sit up on her own yet. They can't get into much trouble then because they are not developed enough physically or mentally.
At 13 months, DD was running all over the place! She started walking at 11 months and definitely wanted to use her new found freedom. You certainly can't blame a 13 month old for not acting like a 5 month old!
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:28 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Please do not give today a second thought. BELIEVE me this"perfect" child will be acting the same way as your very normal child was today.
My SIL was an eye roller when she had her first "perfect" child....we all ignored her as knew her time would come and lo and behold it has come....with double interest as their 2 year old is a terror and giving them a total full on run for their money and I love it
Your 13 month old was acting totally normal
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:35 PM |
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Kierasmom
I love my kids
Member since 5/05 2885 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
As a mom of 2 children, one girl and one boy, let me assure you that you are not a horrible parent. 13 months is a very difficult age. My daughter, who was truly as close to perfect as you can get when it came to behavior, was very difficult at that age. My son who has been on the move and refuses to sit still was that way since he will about 8 months. He is now 22 months and he still is non stop on the move. But we keep taking him out to restaurants and places otherwise he will never learn how to behave in public.
Don't compare yourself to your friends or your DS to other kids. I know it is very hard to not compare but you'll just drive yourself crazy and wind up feeling bad about something. For my daughter her tough age was 12-18 months. For my son it's been from about 12 months to now. But he is getting better in some aspects and I know in time he'll grow out of it. Before you know it your DS will behave much better.
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:38 PM |
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pandaworm
LIF Adult
Member since 8/08 1125 total posts
Name:
bethany
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
honestly, it doesn't sound like your dc was misbehaving, it sounds like he was just curious and wanted to explore and be a big kid. nothing wrong with that as long as he's safe.
my dd has been like this from day one (seriously, would scream in the hospital unless i was pushing her around in the bassinet. she had her eyes wide open and was taking everything in). now at 11 months, she's very active and curious and yes, does get tiring at times, but she's always a good girl, just curious.
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:52 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Nothing to do with boys vs. girls, it's the age difference as I see it.
Today whenever we had to put my 23m old in her stroller she FREAKED out, put her in a swing at the park and when it was time to get out - she freaked out. Once they walk or crawl as others have said, they just want to go. Mind you her baby sister who is only 9 months old laid peacefully in the stroller. By no means does that make me feel that our DD#1 is a bad child or anything to do with parenting as long as you don't let them get away with bad behavior- but even then you have to choose your battles or else as the toddler years progress you'll be doing nothing but scolding or punishing or having a screaming child. Their needs change as they change. #1 was a very laid back baby. As a toddler she definitely has moments that are far from. No one should judge you, and if a parent of an infant does... their time will come.
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| Posted 4/11/10 9:58 PM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
HUGE age difference! I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. My 2 year old can not sit still and likes to go go go. My 6 month old is soooooooo quiet BUT I know when my 6 month old turns 1 it's a different story. Wait till your friends daughter is 13 months or even soon she will act up to want to go go go too!
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| Posted 4/11/10 10:04 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
There is no such thing as a perfect kids.
Mine are 15 months and I thank my lucky stars every day that they are very well behaved, but they have their moments. And DD has more moments than DS so the statement about girls being better than boys is untrue in my case.
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| Posted 4/11/10 10:24 PM |
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Michmouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1260 total posts
Name:
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Re: Friends with perfect kid(s)
Posted by Lucky00
My friend has made comments in the past about how girls are better behaved than boys, and I feel like DS just proved her right today.
QUOTE]
In my experience....they are! I thought I was well prepared for parenting after my DD. Then came DS. Just finshed watching a DVD about behavioral problems and I read every book I can find.....Hang in there. This "season" will end eventually. All the professionals say to set limits, offer distraction/redirection and be consistent.
Good Luck
Message edited 4/11/2010 10:45:46 PM.
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| Posted 4/11/10 10:45 PM |
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