| Posted By |
Message |
princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
|
Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
I had a MC in December. I do not post much on here- becuase I am a private person. I had a MC in December and kept it to myself because I felt that it was a private matter with me and DH. I had a "friend "that has harassed me so much, she basically forced out of me that I had a MC and then she was offended I did not tell her sooner. THE NERVE! I have decided how much I tell her nicely it is none of her business and then I basically got put in a bad situation and was forced to tell her I had a MC, and then her mother was up from florida and tried to put me in the same situation, I have decided to terminate the friendship. To me this is not a friend. I have not returned her calls , nor do I plan on it. I felt like a failure as a woman and it was no one's business what is going on inside my uterus, to be blunt. I spent the bulk of my weekend being mad, and crying a lot, which I was just healing from the MC . Has anyone else stopped talking to certain people that has put there nose's in your business relating to having a baby.... where it does not belong? Am I alone on this???? I was so hurt I had to tell her about my MC and then felt so upset all weekend.
ETA This is not the first time this has happened with this person. I spent the bulk of my adult years taking care of sick parents and I am enjoying spending time with my DH traveling etc before we get our BFP. She has gone on to even ask DH what is happening in the baby dept!! DH will not spend anymore time with them becuase of all of this. He is just as angry. Myown family does not even know about my MC.
Message edited 3/4/2008 7:02:17 PM.
|
Posted 3/4/08 6:50 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
That is rediculous. No matter how close you are to someone, there are always things that should be private between you and your DH. Especially when it comes to issues with TTC.
|
| Posted 3/4/08 6:52 PM |
| |
|
ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
I haven't had this experience but lots of
But your business is your business, a real friend wouldn't put you in that situation. If you told someone instead of being offended, a real friend would be supportive and respect you and DH's privacy. IMO
|
| Posted 3/4/08 6:58 PM |
| |
|
sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
i am so sorry a friend did this to you, that is definately a private thing,
i have actually started avoiding teachers room at work because i am tired of being asked if i am pregnant or people giving me the up and down to see if they can tell if i am or not, some people are just rude
|
| Posted 3/4/08 7:59 PM |
| |
|
sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
I understand how you feel. I'm a very private person as well, hence no name/ info attached to my profile.I have had 2 miscarriages & can count on 1 hand the number of people that know. But I find comfort in this board, speaking to people that understand.
People really don't understand how such an innocent question like"when are you guys having kids ?" can stir so much emotion. I've been married 5 years and get the questions all the time! and want to scream " you have no idea, don't ask!" but have to smile and say I don't know, while my heart aches.
She probably is just taking an interest in your life and doesn't realize what she is doing. But you are right, it is a very private matter.
I will never again ask someone if they are going to have children!
|
| Posted 3/4/08 9:42 PM |
| |
|
thejohnsons
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 848 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. A friend should be supportive of you not make you feel worse. Good for you for cutting ties. You do not need someone like that in your life. I hope things get better for you soon.
Message edited 3/4/2008 10:13:58 PM.
|
| Posted 3/4/08 10:13 PM |
| |
|
laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
People can be thoughtless, stupid and just plain not understand the seriousness of this issue. It sounds like she was beyond insensitive and very selfish.
|
| Posted 3/4/08 10:26 PM |
| |
|
butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
definately a tough decision to make but ultimately what it comes down to is that it is your decision to make....
I had a mc but my friends had already known i was pregnant...the second time i had friends that hadnt know i was pregnant... i still let them know it happened. To me I was so upset over it that I wanted as much support i could get and thats what my friends gave me..
IMO i dont think your friend should have been pushing your dh for details...
|
| Posted 3/4/08 11:21 PM |
| |
|
Kris516
Love The Roo
Member since 2/08 2024 total posts
Name:
Kris
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
Now that she knows, have you considred speaking to her about how she's hurt you before you cut ties? It's amazing. People really don't get it, until they experience it for themselves. Ignorance is bliss I guess.
|
| Posted 3/4/08 11:22 PM |
| |
|
princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
Posted by ANON4NOW
Now that she knows, have you considred speaking to her about how she's hurt you before you cut ties? It's amazing. People really don't get it, until they experience it for themselves. Ignorance is bliss I guess.
I think she is basking in the glow, as sick as it sounds, and is giving me unsolicited advice, about how I should do x y and z, etc..... She had a very hard time getting pregnant. It is like she is trying to put me in the same boat she was in and I am not in that same boat right now. I know her from an ex fiancee- they stopped talking to him around the time I broke up with him and they moved to florida for a few yrs, they moved back to LI a few yrs ago, we always stayed freinds. She was not here when I buried my Dad, and neither when I met my DH and had my wedding, so she has no clue what my lfe was exactly like while she was not in NY. This just makes me so angry. Thank you for all the responses. It is consoling to know I am not the only one and you have all backed me up. I am feeling a little better, but I was doing so well until this past weeeknd. It was very hard, to top it all off after that we went to her son's b day party- it was the same day of this situation, and while we were sitting there trying to dodge her Mom and her- I felt bad to just cancel at the last minute, I did a lot of thinking of how this is NOT a friend. Thank you again.
|
| Posted 3/5/08 2:15 AM |
| |
|
FLaCaTaCa
Kelsey Elyse = Love
Member since 5/05 1855 total posts
Name:
Stacy
|
Re: Friendships, fertility, and rude people during the TTC process....
I'm sorry this happened!
This is an example of a time when I scratch my head and say "What is wrong with PEOPLE!??" 
|
| Posted 3/5/08 5:44 AM |
| |
|
