Funerals.. pls give me your input.

Would you bring DC along to attend grandma's funeral? The wake? The cemetary?

My MIL, DD's grandma will pass in about 3 weeks or so. DD is almost 16 months.

Message edited 9/15/2007 12:52:34 PM.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

how old is the child and is it your grandmother or hers?

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

It all depends on the age of the child...

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

i just had to think about this. My grandmother passed 2 months ago and DD wad 18 months I didnt bring her because I felt it would be too much for me and I couldnt handle running around after her. I dont really think its the right place for a child unless they are in the infant seat and basically sleep the entire time anyway.. My opinion Iwould get a sitter.. This was another problem for us too. The ony people who have babysat are FAMILY.. So my DH side took turns.. Now I have a sitter not related to me just in case of any other family gatherings good or bad..

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

At 16 months, they are too young to understand what is going on. They have, absolutely, no concept of what death is. They only problems I see would be if the wake, funeral, Mass or going to the cemetery would interfere with their feeding or nap schedule or if they are not comfortable around a large group of people.

Just to add, I am so very sorry about your MIL.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

I would not bring my DD...

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

OK, well I was faced with this twice this year. My Grandmother passed away in Feb, DD was 8 mths old...My grandma has been waiting for me to have a child for years (I was always her favorite and she was excited for DH and I to have a baby), I took DD with me, to both days of the wake and to the burial. She did great. And I felt good that Grandma would have wanted her there, My mom agreed,

Then...my own mother passed away in April.....I knew mom would want her there because she commented on how nice it was that she was at grandmas's 2 mths before. All my mom wanted was to be a grandma and she finally did - and passed away 10 mths later. Anyway, same thing, brought DD to both days of the wake (AM and PM showings) and to the burial. Again, she did wonderfully. People commemted on how nice to was to have her there to make people smile a bit. People made comments on how one passes but another is here in her place..etc. DD napped in her stroller at the wakes....its quiet enough thats for sure. She napped before or after the burial services or even in the car on the way there.....

You have to do what feels right for you.

Sorry to babble, this subject just hits home for me right now..

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

I would probably bring her if it was a closed casket wake. They don't understand death at that point & I think it's very comforting for people to see the "next generation". At least it was for me when I was in similar situation.


Many hugs & prayers for you, your DH & the rest of the family. She came across as the doting grandma.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

Posted by nrthshgrl

I would probably bring her if it was a closed casket wake. They don't understand death at that point & I think it's very comforting for people to see the "next generation". At least it was for me when I was in similar situation.


Many hugs & prayers for you, your DH & the rest of the family. She came across as the doting grandma.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

Out of respect for the deceased, especially if it was immediate family, I would bring DC. Nicholas was only 3 months old when my grandpa died and he attended the funeral. I know my grandpa was smiling down seeing him there since he only met him briefly right before he passed and he was really sick to even register the whole visit I'm sure. My great grandpa just passed when Emma was 3 months old, and had we been in MI at the time, she would have attended also.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

If it were me, I would bring my children, no matter what age.

If you need anything, let me know.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

I had to face this twice this past month. And both times we took DS since they were immediate family members who passed. Just to mention Ds was 8 months old.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

I would take her.

Re: Funerals.. pls give me your input.

Since having children I've been to two funerals one being my brothers and my son was 4yrs old and my brother loved him soooo much (he also looks like him everyone said) I knew he would of wanted him there, and the second was my grandma and my oldest was 6yrs old and my other one at the time was 6mos and I brought both of them. I feel having my children there helped my older Aunts and Uncles because that's what children do, bring smiles to the people around them I am so sorry that you will be losing someone you love, but only you can really make this decision since you know your child and family best.

Message edited 9/15/2007 6:11:18 PM.