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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
DH is in a band, well 2 bands....
I used to go see himplay all the time, not so much anymore, obviously.
Last summer I spent much of it by myself....pregnant.....no big deal.
Now this summer is shaping up to be the same.....
DH just called to ask if it was OK for him to take a gig May 17, overnight, which would make him working the 16th, and 17th overnight.
Forget about July, every weekend is completely booked.
I always said I wouldn't be a b!tchy wife who made a fuss over this, but seriously, it's getting on my nerves just a little now. I want to say it's OK and he should go, but when the time comes and I'm by myself all weekend, it kinda sux.....
I have no idea what to do, and I'm getting a little tired of being a band widow. 
Message edited 5/1/2008 1:31:40 PM.
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Posted 5/1/08 12:54 PM  |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
 about him being away soooo much
But my suggestion to you is maybe the days you know he is going to be away for more than a day -then hire somebody to watch the baby and get some time to yourself. 
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| Posted 5/1/08 12:57 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
I don't know what my advise is b/c I'd be annoyed too.. It's hard to go it alone, especially w/ a kid, and boring too! I guess ask your DH how he'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Maybe he'd be able to slow it down a little bit?
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| Posted 5/1/08 12:59 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
Posted by Marcie
about him being away soooo much
But my suggestion to you is maybe the days you know he is going to be away for more than a day -then hire somebody to watch the baby and get some time to yourself.
I like this idea. Maybe you could even go watch him sometimes (when it's not too far away.) It's hard, and I understand you don't want to say no, don't do it and sound like his mom, where he needs permission to do what he loves to do.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:00 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
Posted by Marcie
about him being away soooo much
But my suggestion to you is maybe the days you know he is going to be away for more than a day -then hire somebody to watch the baby and get some time to yourself.
I agree with this.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:03 PM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
Gina
I have a shower on the 17th and the 18th and Chris will be in Chicago
You are welcome to come and hang out & even sleep over if you want. My cousins will be there babysitting and then WE can go out 
seriously--i know it sux but we will be around all summer to play (if that is any consolation)
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:09 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
Oh, I feel your pain.
DH is in two bands as well... more on that in a moment
First off, my DH travels about 1 full week out of the month for business... often to the west coast... ok, that stinks enough as it is. I can't bathe DC's w/o another set of hands.
Last year, with newborn twins, I said yes to softball on Sundays. WHY??? Because every other team he's ever been on s u c k e d and consisted of hung over idiots... they would lose every game and the team would disband within a month. I thought, sure you have newborn twins  but say YES because you know they will be LOSERS and it will all be over in three weeks and you will get credit for being an adoring wife 
Sure... what happened?
23-0... YUP!!!
Yes, 23-0... he might as well have been on the Yankees I was practially in tears in my den every Sunday last summer and early fall feeding, burping, changing two babies.
Now he's playing again but only because I'm a SAHM this year and the kids are 1000% easier.
He's in one local band that practices on Tuesdays. They rarely gig though.
He's in another so he can record his material. He has recorded and sold three CD's in the past, that's on Fridays.
We had a talk and when I go back to work he gets to pick one of those three things... seriously, he's not Bono He'll be 40, the chances of rock stardom have come and gone. now it's time to get with reality and mow the lawn
I totallly feel your pain
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:21 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
Posted by JenBenMen
Gina
I have a shower on the 17th and the 18th and Chris will be in Chicago
You are welcome to come and hang out & even sleep over if you want. My cousins will be there babysitting and then WE can go out
seriously--i know it sux but we will be around all summer to play (if that is any consolation)
Thanks Jen,
it's just a PITA, being all by myself....
We just had an argument about it because I said how I felt, that I was getting a little bothered by it but if he wanted to go, then he should go.
He said "you married a musician, I gave up playing for one person already and I won't do it again" 
Well, then I rebutted that he better decide what's more important, his family, or music.....and promptly hung up....
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:23 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: GEtting a little annoyed, not sure HOW I feel....help!!!
Oh, and to add in reply to Teresa.....HE PLAYS SOFTBALL ON SUNDAYS TOO AND DARTS ON WEDNESDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:26 PM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
I think you should let him go. Is there any way that you can go with him at all? You need to get out and have some time with hubby as well. Maybe yoru family can watch DC one night for you.
I think if you tell him you cant go he is just going to get snappy and agitated. But if you let him go he will be happy and then in turn wont make for a bad argument or anything.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:35 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
Posted by curliegirl
Oh, and to add in reply to Teresa.....HE PLAYS SOFTBALL ON SUNDAYS TOO AND DARTS ON WEDNESDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, if my DH played darts too... I'd be coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs!!
Hmmmmmmm.... bats and darts.....hmmmmmmm...
Next time he argues with you just picture yourself throwing a dart at his head
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:36 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
Posted by curliegirl
Oh, and to add in reply to Teresa.....HE PLAYS SOFTBALL ON SUNDAYS TOO AND DARTS ON WEDNESDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG. I would be playing a game of darts myself.
Can I ask a serious question?
What do YOU do? For Curliegirl time?
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:39 PM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
Posted by bicosi
Posted by curliegirl
Oh, and to add in reply to Teresa.....HE PLAYS SOFTBALL ON SUNDAYS TOO AND DARTS ON WEDNESDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG. I would be playing a game of darts myself.
Can I ask a serious question?
What do YOU do? For Curliegirl time?
Yeah i was going to ask her the same thing? You must get out and do some things for yourself. Just leave DH with the baby sometimes. Just get up one day when you know he will be home and go out. He cant do anything about that.
I usually tell DH that I am going out to get my nails done, hair done etc. and to watch DS. Its his child too so he better not say he cant do it.
Message edited 5/1/2008 1:42:00 PM.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:41 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
... seriously, he's not Bono He'll be 40, the chances of rock stardom have come and gone. now it's time to get with reality and mow the lawn
I cant get into details..but this made me PIMP!!!!!!
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:42 PM |
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LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!
Member since 12/05 4648 total posts
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
i'd just atlk to him about it and let him know how you feel.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:45 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
For myself?
Lately?
Nothing, and I am getting a lump in my throat just thinking about it.
I used to go to the gym ALL The time, my cousin even has a trreadmill for me, DH won't go get it.
I can't even go get my nails done these days!!!!!!
And DH says he wants to go back to the gym, and we need to create a schedule.
OK, here's a schedule.....I walk in and you walk out, there's your schedule.
I am so friggin mad right now!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:45 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
Posted by curliegirl
For myself?
Lately?
Nothing, and I am getting a lump in my throat just thinking about it.
I used to go to the gym ALL The time, my cousin even has a trreadmill for me, DH won't go get it.
I can't even go get my nails done these days!!!!!!
And DH says he wants to go back to the gym, and we need to create a schedule.
OK, here's a schedule.....I walk in and you walk out, there's your schedule.
I am so friggin mad right now!!!!!!!!!
Well, you need to make YOU time. Even if it's just to sit somewhere and just breathe and think. I think that things like this probably wouldn't bother you as much if you were getting out there yourself and getting much needed YOU time.
I know it's hard and as a new mom, you don't MIND being with your DC AT ALL! (Which I'm sure is part of the reason you're getting so mad at him because you're probably thinking to yourself, how could he want to constantly be away from us and continue making plans that don't include us?)
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:48 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
mine isn't in a band, but he's got more hobbies then anyone I know.
I had a meltdown last month, he bought himself a concert ticket...doesn't seem like a big deal, but when he finally gets a day off, to just pick up and go carefree?
so, I bought myself a ticket...I am dragging the baby along. Who knows might be fun...might be a disaster...but I will be out of the house for a night out, rather then stuck in AGAIN ALONE with an 8:00 bedtime.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:49 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
ok, DH seriously needs to realize he's a dad now and he NEEDS to make some sacrifices. Starting months ago when DS was born. Yes, you married a musician, but did you think he wouldn't put you & DS first??? I'm sure he's a good guy deep down or you wouldn't have married him. It's just not fair to you OR DS what he's doing now. And he needs to realize that you need some time to do your thing SOMETIMES. Is hiring a babysitter an option for you? That's what we finally did. DH travels for work all week and I was going nuts. So now I have a babysitter one evening during the week and DH watches DD one morning/afternoon on the weekend. I am a totally different person now. I think you need to talk to DH about this calmly (after this incident blows over a little bit) and explain to him your needs. Hopefully you can get through to him and he'll give something up SOON.
Message edited 5/1/2008 1:59:38 PM.
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| Posted 5/1/08 1:58 PM |
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Bklyngrl
luvmyfamily
Member since 9/06 5307 total posts
Name:
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
mine isn't in a band either but i have similar situation and it stinks. i am pretty much dreading summer because i hate being stuck in an apt alone. i LOVE being with my DC but it is alot of work with an active baby and and gets boring w/o adult companionship
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| Posted 5/1/08 2:03 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
That sux!
Is there any way you and DS can go to some of the gigs? Or can you leave DS with a family member for a weekend or two so you can join DH?
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| Posted 5/1/08 2:13 PM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
I noticed that I gave up a lot of things to accomodate both DS and DH
so now I cut time for myself and say this is how it has to be
e.g
Sunday morning:-- See ya, going to the gym
Sat afternoon:- have appt with manicurist
Maybe make a daily set night for what you want to do
e.g Wed night- Gym
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| Posted 5/1/08 2:18 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
First of all lots of to you as it sounds like you need them. Not to add fuel to your fire but you really need to lay down the law with DH much and all as you dont want to be the nagging wife, some guys just dont get it. Their lives dont change at all once the baby arrives but ours change overnight and we are expected to deal with it.
My DH basically did whatever he wanted - well within reason before DD arrived and believe me he likes to go out and have a good time but once DD arrived I put my foot down and told him this is how its going to have to be and you know what he totally changed. Now he is quite happy to go shopping on the weekends, take DD to the park and mow the lawn. BUT if I hadnt told him he would still think it was okay to hang out with his friends and golf 7 days a week.
Sometimes you have to think of yourself and your own sanity and dont think you are being a nagging wife at all.
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| Posted 5/1/08 2:22 PM |
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jodi714
Love my little girl!
Member since 2/06 3621 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
I know exactly how you are feeling. DH is so social (I also agreed to a softball league and am not totally regreting it). and is a pharm rep so he is away a lot for meetings, trainings, dinners, etc. I too spend more nights/days/weekends alone than I want and DD is only 7 weeks. I used to be the "cool" wife who never gave DH a hard time, while his friends were lying to their wives about where they were going because they didn't want to be nagged. Well, now it is totalling biting me in the a$$. I don't want to be the bad guy and say NO but I often want to. I want him to say NO and spend time at home. We had a long talk last week and it seemed to help. He is more aware of how all his activities affect me and I am going to try to make a bigger effort to get out more often so I am not so resentful when he is out and I am home. It's still a work in progress but I definitely encourage you to talk to DH about it. Hopefully, he will see your perspective and make a decision that takes your feelings into consideration and not make you feel like the bad guy.
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| Posted 5/1/08 2:30 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Getting a little annoyed, OK now I'm ******!!!....help!!!
It really sux because it seems like all of the dads really get to do whatever the hell it is they want to do - and we are the ones at home with the babies. Not that we mind being with them - but we really don't get much of a choice do we???
It must be nice for them to leave the house and know that their DC is fully taken care of - without giving it a single thought.
I would talk to him - if he's playing alot in the summer already - he really needs to miss out on this one weekend.
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| Posted 5/1/08 2:35 PM |
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